Does this man deserve to be a father to a child?

Question

A man leaves his wife ten days after major surgery. He leaves her alone to support herself and two children, ages 5 and 2. The wife is unable to lift the 2 year old, and is forced back to work 18 days after surgery, and almost four weeks earlier than her doctor would allow. She manages to do it all alone. A year later when she is laid off of work, she is forced to relocate to nearby state so family can help while she finds another job. The husband then decides she is unfit and TAKES the children. The judge later grants her custody. Years later. Husband has remarried and had a child with a new woman. They separate and he offers to give up the other two children if his current wife will consider reconciliation. She says no, but he still walks away from the children, even signing papers giving up custodial rights. Should this man be allowed to see the children that he effortlessly walked away from without so much as a goodbye?

The now 10 year old won't speak to him and the now 7 year old doesn't want to hear any reference to him. The children do not want to see him. He is threatening to force visitation. He signed the papers, but crossed out sections exempting him from child support, educational expenses and medical insurance. Since that wasn't the agreement, the papers could not be filed. Legally, he has visitation rights, but the children do not want to see him. Attorneys recommend an injunction, barring him from visitaiton since he has been absent for so long. Any visitation at this point would definitely be emotionally damaging to the children since they would have overnight visits due to the distance between the two residences. Thanks to all for opinions. And to the one who thought this was a stupid question - You are welcome for your 2pts. :-)

Answer 1

No he shouldnt that just shows you some ppl should not be allowed to breed. He will get his one day dont worry. I have a dead beat dad and he is now fat and a alcoholic with no job ( that never mattered he never sent child support) and no family because he abandoned them all. Karma what goes around come around.

Answer 2

Absolutely not. Not only has he given up custodial rights, he has also emotionally abused them enough for a lifetime. The children have had to suffer through him leaving without a care in the world several times. Do not let him do it again. Should the children want to seek him out when they are grown, they may do so. Letting him see them would also mean that he categorically does not want to sever ties and thus must want to financially support them as well. I'm sure that will stop him dead in his tracks.

In addition, if he continues to try and contact the children, file a restraining order and throw his a** in jail if he doesn't abide by it. He's the one who signed away parental right; let him live with it.
Good luck and God Bless to the mother and these children.

Answer 3

First of all... he is not a man..He's a guy yet to become a man ... A man represent an adult as well, and being an adult knowing their own responsibility for every act they take and should be able to think rasional instead of acting like a kiddo, runaway from his responsibility like a high school kid.. This kind of guy is not grown up yet, maybe later on he'll realize how childish he has reacted over alot of matters that he should have handle it seriously and carefully. Give space to forgive, althou we all think that he has done nothing and do not deserve to even see the children but sometimes... have mercy.. have grace... that is what we want our kids to practice to have in their quality personality as well I believe...

Answer 4

I think if the children would like to spend time with him, you should allow it. If you do not, they will not see him for what he really is and you will be the bad guy. He will eventually show them what he is like, and I imagine they won't want anything to do with him later in life when they realize on their own, that he wasn't/isn't there for them. On the off chance that he's changed (a lot), they might not have to be hurt by him again and may actually benefit from the relationship.

Answer 5

I think that all of his parental rights should be taken from him. I have had to deal with a similar situation with my two stepdaughters. Their mother left them when the youngest was only two years old. She was a drunk and a drug addict. She originally had custody through the divorce. But she couldn't party with two kids tieing her down so she left them with their father. After years of battling the court he finally got legal custody of them. Then all of the sudden she wants them. I wish the courts would take away her rights to the youngest. the oldest is now 18, but the youngest is still 15 and doesn't want to see her.

Answer 6

Absolutely not! I wouldn't even consider him their father..I would consider him a pompous, self absorbed S.O.B. He only cares about what's good for HIM at any given time. He cannot possibly be responsible and in my opinion, he signed away custodial rights so that would mean visitation as well. When the children are 18, if they want to see them it's up to them...but they should realize how much it would hurt their mother who raised them, nurtured them, took care of them when they were sick, etc.

Answer 7

Well, his ignorance is something he will pay for anyway. It's just a matter of time.He is their father and the mother should not take out her bad judgment in men on her children They are not pawns. It's difficult. The majority of men walk away. Do what you think is best but remember, it's the children that come first. Good luck and you are in my thoughts.

Answer 8

In my opinion: NO.
But even men that are this cold - hearted have a soul: he will pay for this behaviour; that's fate.
But in all this: what do the children want? How are they involved: do they have a say: it does count; they have rights, too. That is the way it goes. It's hard to step back, but if they want contact, then so be it.

Answer 9

Islamic policies are Divine, and have been ordained interior the appropriate interest of females. So in this way of case,the girl has the properly suited to dispose off the 1st husband, interior the call of divorce and decide for the 2d guy. And no chaste woman might desire to be with 2 husbands at one time. one after the different is achieveable. And adult males too. No chaste guy might have the middle to proportion all people of his spouse with yet another guy, nevertheless he has 4 females..

Answer 10

It has nothing to do with whether or not he's fit to be a father- it's the child's decision. Maybe the mother is bitter and doesn't want the kids to have a relationship with him, but every child needs a father. If the child wants to see him- then let them. It's no longer up to the mother.