......that is jealous of me. I've been friends with him my whole life (my dad and his dad are bestfriends). We hang out alot but their is no girlfriend/boyfriend attraction going on at all. But his girl friend of only a few months is trying to make him choose between her and me. What would you do in this situation? I want to do the right thing but he's my bestfriend and I don't want to lose him. Help please!!
2006-07-26 16:48:35 · 9 answers · asked by Led*Zep*Babe 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
to answer you Aliza I'm 17, he's 20, and she is 19
2006-07-26 17:00:54 · update #1
That isn't fair for the gf to ask him that and if he's really a good friend he would never choose a gf over his life-long best friend. If he does, maybe you are better off without him.
2006-07-26 16:53:33 · answer #1 · answered by Still Halloween 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a few of us have been through this situation before..
I have been in the same situation but it was a guy best friend that turned into a boyfriend, then we reliased that we were better as best friends and went back to that no hard feelings at all and a completely mutual decision, he got a serious GF after a year and he was honest with her and told her about us and didn't try to hide anything.. well she didn't like the idea of me hanging out with him but she tolerated me for his sake... It took awhile (maybe 2 years) but she loves me now as much as him.. all your guy best friend has to do is keep reassuring her that its her that he wants a love interest and you also have to make the effort to hang out with his GF a little without him also.. start inviting her to girls nights etc.. so she can get to know you and your personality so she can see that you aren't a homewrecker or anything like that and she will like having your company around soon enough.. Your best friend has too love you both for a reason so you already have something in common with her I'm sure
2006-07-27 00:34:52 · answer #2 · answered by channille 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to make you read so much, but here it is.
Well, this is a very tough situation indeed.
The biggest weight is on him, however. What he needs to do is try to talk sense into his girlfriend while not doing anything rash.
Here's the part you may not want to hear: the mature thing for you to do at this point is back down a little bit. Don't stop talking to him. Don't stop visiting him, don't stop being friendly, but try to make it clear that you are in no way trying to threaten their relationship. With the details provided by you the only suggestion I have is that you guys don't hang out as much.
As his girlfriend becomes more secure (as she hopefully will) with their relationship, you will be able to reinsert yourself back into his life as u always have been.
As a friend, you owe it to this guy to do what's in your power to help him in his relationship, and this is how to do it. Also, this is very important. Anything perceived as interference on your part in your friend's relationship might actually make him angry at you, and will seriously hurt your friendship.
You don't have to take my advice, but I've been through this before (I was the guy) and my bestfriend ended up outlasting my girlfriend. Just because she hung back for a bit.
2006-07-27 00:00:47 · answer #3 · answered by Mantra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he chooses you he wants to keep the friendship and the girlfriend is really jealous she thinks that he shouldn't hang around you and she just don't want him to cheat on her with you because she's afraid of a broken heart......
Trust me just think about being in her place ...
Your guy friend should ask her why should he choose? He loves her and loves you as a friend...And tell him nothing would happen between him and you..?
And if she don't understand...You should tell him he is not the one for her and if you think that a bad idea..Then if he decides to choose you then he choose the right person.And he decide to choose her then don't bother with him...
His girlfriend is wrong for asking to choose?
2006-07-26 23:58:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in your situation a few years ago. I got REALLY upset and I hated her for it and always wanted him to just say "screw her"
and come hang out with me anyways because we'd been friends for YEARS..
...and then I tried to see her point of view. I realized that it wasn't going to help her feel any better about me if I always wanted to hang out with him just us two or if I said bad things about her. I started talking to her once in awhile, asking my friend how she was, and, essentially, making the effort to become HER friend too. Once she stops seeing you as a threat, she'll most likely be more okay to eventually "let" him spend time with you more often again.
Good luck. I know it's a painful situation.
2006-07-26 23:56:08 · answer #5 · answered by April 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're teenagers, stay friends with him. She's a fad, and firnedship is way more important than a temporary fling. Even if right now they're totally into each other, it'll end. If he chooses her over you, he's a fool, and you deserve better, more loyal friends anyway. She's the one making him choose, she's the one who should suffer the consequences.
2006-07-26 23:57:53 · answer #6 · answered by Aliza, Queen of the Night 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to the girlfriend? I had a similar situation and I ended up talking to his girlfriend. She took it pretty well and now everything is ok. If it doesn't work then you need to talk to your friend and tell him that while you support him and he's your best friend, this girl is trying to ruin your friendship. If he doesn't listen, then maybe you need to give him some space. Good luck.
2006-07-26 23:54:03 · answer #7 · answered by Krista 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy...You try to find a boyfriend
Problem solved :)) :))
2006-07-26 23:53:11 · answer #8 · answered by Deep P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she feels your a tret and you should just keep doing what your doing and it seems like she dosen't trust him if she's making him chose
2006-07-27 00:00:51 · answer #9 · answered by 209SiNtIa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋