Tell me about cheating?

Question

I cheated on my 1st husband 7 years into my marriage-no ifs, ands, or butts, it was wrong-we divorced 6 years later. I was single for 5 years and now remarried for 2. I promised the lord, and myself if forgiveness came, i would never, no matter what hand life dealt me, cheat again. I found my wonderful husband-i now live with verbal abuse. I have never cheated on him, but have constantly been accused. Does this mean hands down that he has cheated on me, or is this insecurity of his so bad that he would constantly accuse me? Serious please, i know i made a mistake a long time ago, please dont judge..

Update-yes he knows all about it. He knew before our first date. His cousin is my ex's oldest friend. He cheated on his ex wife long before she ever cheated on him. I have forgiven myself because i know that i learned from my mistake...it was only once. But it was enough to change lives forever. He says there is no basis for trust in our relationship and there never will be. And if i had to gloat-bad as he can get at times....i dont look around, cuz i couldnt 4 once believe that anyone could be better, or look better than him...i guess its just the terrible verbal abuse merrygoround i spoke of in my last question. Thanks for all your answers.

Answer 1

If he knows you cheated on your first husband then he's worried you'll do it to him too.

You made this bed, now you have to prove yourself.

Answer 2

Well the saying goes like this...If he's accusing you and you know for a fact that you are not cheating and haven't even thought of cheating , it means that he most likely is. I went through the same thing with my ex-husband...he always accused me of cheating and it turned out to be him doing the cheating...leave him but first try to catch him in the act. I used to live with verbal and physical abuse...you don't have to live with that kind of abuse. Because if he's verbally abusing you then next is physical abuse. Get out while you still have your dignity.

Answer 3

I would say he is very insecure. And the constant checkin is probably his way of being reassured. Asking anyone is never an easy thing to do, so in his asking it may sound more like accusing. Give it a little more time and reassure him when he needs it. Cuz if you get mad that he is accusing then that may make him believe that your mad cuz you've been caught. He may see changes even and think that thats why. It never hurts to reassure, but i kno how it could get very annoying. But again being annoyed by the question may make him question your faithfulness even more.

Answer 4

I accuse my husband of cheating on me from time to time, but I am a women with changing hormones, so I can't truly speak for the male sex, however I have never cheated on my husband and take great pride in saying that. I promised God and my husband to be faithful and that is a promise I intend to keep. Good for you, you made a mistake and learned from it. I'm proud of you for that. As for your man- thinking positively about it I would say that he is just insecure.

Answer 5

Have you done anything to make him think you have cheated on him? You seem to be able to forgive yourself for the other marriage failing. That's good. Now he is blaming you and you did nothing. Payback? I don't know about you, but I would suck it up and tell him a thing or two. I would tell him to lay off the accusations. I would tell him that I would no longer put up with his attitude and verbal abuse. I would tell him to straighten up and fly right or I will leave. If he started in on that again I would walk out. You have paid for your sins and its time for him to grow up.

Answer 6

What you do bef. a relationship or in another relationship is just that the past. I believe abusive people accuse you of anything because this is abusive behaviour... HE NEEDS HELP AND SO DO YOU IF YOU THINK THIS IS OK.

Lots of people that come out of failed marriages blame themselves some even think that now they don't deserve the best relationship or to be happy....I hope you are not one of them.

Answer 7

Have you ever heard the saying, "as a man thinks so is he". My ex used to accuse me of cheating all of the time. He was the unfaithful. My friends husband used to accuse us of being lesbian lovers (which is absurd). He was also unfaithful. My friend accuses her boyfriend of cheating. Who's the unfaithful one...you guessed it..she is. Trust your gut instinct.

Answer 8

I think he is just insecure and maybe he thinks you might because of your past I would sit him down and explain that when you married him you were older and you have been there done that and would not do it again.Tell him that ya'll have got to have trust and you want to have a healthy marriage and you want trust and you would never mess that up maybe he is the type that needs that constant reasurance

Answer 9

You did it to your self, if your new husband knows that you cheated on your ex husband...he will have a hard time not accusing you of cheating because you did it already. You have to give hime sone time to trust you and show him that you are not cheat....not by telling him but by showing him.

Answer 10

I'm in a relationship as of the moment that my girlfriend told she has never been faith full to any of her boyfriends, typically I'm not a jealous person but now I do find it harder to deal with knowing this.but the last thing I want to do is constantly badger her about it. I would only think it would tempt you more. just be honest to yourself and him.

Answer 11

I'm thinking he is just worried since you have done it before with your ex, you might do it again??? I don't know, does he know about your past incident?

But, that still doesn't give him any right to be verbally abusive.