I dont know what to do?

Question

my baby will not sleep very much at all. Is it ok to let her cry herself to sleep and if so how long should I let her cry before I get her out of her crib. She is only 7 weeks old. I know they say it is cruetly to let a baby cry but how else do they learn on their own. Please help me out. Im a single mom doing it all on her own I am out of ideas.

Answer 1

In my opinion - NO! It's very cruel to let a baby, especially one so young, just lay there and cry when you can help her. If you're too frustrated to deal at the moment, take a few minutes to yourself. But by all means, go to her! Think of it from her side - 9 months of being in a cozy warm noisy womb hearing your heartbeat constantly, and all of sudden she's supposed to sleep in a big bed in the dark by herself in the quiet? Yes, she has to learn to put herself to sleep someday, but today is not that day! Adults have to put themselves to sleep, not babies. My son will be 2 this week and I still rock him to sleep every night, and most nights, he sleeps with me. He feels safe there. Slowly but surely he's asking to sleep in his own bed more, because he's secure in the fact that if he needs me I'll be there. If you allow your child to 'cry it out' you're only teaching her to be insecure. Think of all the insecure adults running around right now raised on Dr. Spock's philosophies that, btw, he refuted at his last speaking conferences! You can not spoil a baby! When a baby this young is crying, it's because they need something, and if all they need is to be held, then do it! I'm a single mom, too, so I checked out some books from the library, from both standpoints, and the crying it out folks just didn't have a leg to stand on.
Imagine this: you're talking to your best friend, and you're desperately trying to tell her something, but she's not listening. So you speak louder, then you speak slower, you yell, you whisper, eventually when she's still not listening you will probably give up. And you will know one of several things: what you had to say wasn't important enough to be heard 2)your friend didn't care enough to listen 3)you don't know how to express yourself. But the end point being : you give up trying. This is what many babies end up doing. When parents think the 'cry it out' method has worked b/c their baby finally went to sleep and stopped crying, it hasn't 'worked'. All they've done is crushed their little baby's trust in their parent to respond to needs.
I've dealt with some people who tell me I'm ridiculous, to put my son in his bed, shut the door and let him scream. I say, they're outta they're freakin mind! We would never dream of doing that to anyone else, why would do that to OUR BABY?! I cherish the moments I have holding my son as he drifts off to sleep, knowing this time won't last forever. The more secure you make your baby, the better equipped she will be when she's ready to start sleeping (and doing other things) independently. Cuz she'll know you're right there waiting if she needs you, but that if she doesn't, cool!
Remember this, too: How many parents of grown children have you ever say, "I wish I'd spent less time holding my child"
This'll give you a break, too, especially if you're nursing. Whenever my son would wake up, I'd just roll over, give him a breast and he was back to sleep in seconds, meaning I got more sleep, too. And now, wonder of wonders, he no longer wakes up in the middle of the night and asks for it.
Cosleeping the right way, taking safety precautions, also has some great benefits. The closer your baby is to you, the more likely you are to know when there's a problem.

Answer 2

Usually if a baby is crying at 7 weeks than there is a NEED. Babies at 7 weeks are not spoiled and there is an obvious problem. Check feeding, also check to see if she is crying from gas after a feeding. There is WONDERFUL gas drops out you can give your baby that are over the counter and really work. You can get them in any drug store or even Wall-Mart. Try a paci to see if that soothes her. Is she eating enough to get her full ??? Also you can kind of put her on her side by placing a small pillow behind her back, this will help with comfort. Also depending if she is bottle fed, some formulas do not agree with some babies. I urge you to check with your pediatrician as he/she will know best.

Answer 3

She's 7 weeks old, she doesn't need to learn to fall asleep on her own until much later! Have you tried co-sleeping? It's really safe if done correctly and it's the only way my daughter would sleep more than 30 minutes! Check out www.mothering.com/discussion for more information, found in The Night Time Parenting board. You don't have to register to read, though you do to post (it's free.)

Answer 4

I feel for you...exhaustion is exhausting and miserable!!!! It will not hurt her to cry for a good while. It's much more 'painful' for you. She needs to learn how to fall asleep on her own. The way their day goes has alot of affect on their nights. I would suggest that you make sure she is on a routine....eating about the same times every day...then wake/play time...then nap time. My fifth baby is 4 months old now they have all slept through the night by 7 weeks. They all had to spend time crying and they are all happy and healthy. I hope things smooth out soon...this too shall pass :-)

Answer 5

It is not cruel! My baby had colic and cried a lot too. I just made sure that she was dry and not hungry and gave her gas drops just in case she has a tummy ache. If nothing was wrong with her, I would put her in her crib and shut the door and go out of the room. Sometimes, it is better to put the baby down and get a break! Follow your instincts. She isn't going to hurt herself in that crib! Good luck, I know how you feel!

Answer 6

If she is not screaming it is ok to let her cry for 5-10 minutes before going to her. Do you breastfeed? If so make sure that you are not eating foods that will give her gas...she could be crying from gas pains. Also if she is formula fed she may be having a reaction to the milk in the formula. I had to switch my son to soy. Talk to your baby's doctor. Mylacon gas drops are completely safe. Try those to see if they help. The store brands are MUCH cheaper than the name brand and are the same.

Answer 7

alot of times when babies cry alot they sense you are tense and continue crying , i suggest yes letting them cry awhile but also be as calm as you can and sing and rock the baby so they will feel all is right in the world. once when i was a mother for the first time my daughter cried and cried for along time and i was trying everything to make her happy and i couldn't , so i called my mother in law to come help, she came and took the baby and sang a little and rocked her and she calmed right down , completely stopped crying , so my mother in law said she was still crying cause she felt you were upset .well from that day on i changed my approach, when the baby was fussy i took care of all her needs first and ruled them out and then calmly sang and rocked her and i never went through that again

Answer 8

As long as you are giving your baby sufficient attention then I would let her cry herself to sleep. But you need to make sure you are spending plenty of time with her and giving her a good loving relationship and making her feel loved and wanted. She may be just crying for attention.

Answer 9

Make sure that nothing is wrong with the baby. Is she hungry or wet? Will she take a pacifier? A baby that young is probably not just crying for attention. Ask your Dr. and get a copy of Dr. Spock's Baby Care. It will help you tremendously.

Answer 10

at that age my baby was only sleeping when being held. I started him in a playpen in the room with me so when he would start getting fussy i would just reach over and shake the playpen. it worked. eventually i transitioned him to his own crib and now he sleeps fine. crying will not hurt a baby but a stressed out mother will. let your baby cry.