how do I get my husband's mistress (his secretary) to leave the office?

Answer 1

Sue her for adultery and moral charges.

In your question, it seems that you still want to keep your husband and just get rid of the girl. Are you sure your husband won't be seeing her again after that? Are you ready for a long term cheating?

If not, file for divorce. Don't do anything bad to ruin his career other than that. Remember he need his job for the alimony that you will ask from him. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Be strong.

Answer 2

Try telling her to leave the office, and to leave your husband alone, and generally this will work. Don't become abusive, or angry. If you love him, and want to work this out, you should. Don't let someone else tell you to dump him, listen to your heart.

Tell your husband you want her out, if he want you in. He can always hire another secretary, you are his wife. Then you can make sure his new secretary is either a man, or married or butt ugly if necessary. You are his wife. Remember that. Where is he with this issue? Is the affair over? There are worse things than adultery and I do speak from experience, so hold your head up and deal with the situation head on, there could be a beautiful mountain top waiting after this valley. Blessings.

Answer 3

I would try this: sit down with your husband at home, after he's had time to chill out after the day; and do a review with him, on your marriage together: show early pics, go over the best and loving times you've had together; reminding him of what he's got, in being with you~! Now, I don't know if he KNOWS that you know about the "mistress" ~ but, whatever, I would then kind of tell him either way, and then I would ask him to rid the office of her; as she is causing serious upset; and may be causing risk to whether or not you stay married to him; if he's worth his salt and worthy of you; he'll get rid of his secretary, and that's that!
I don't know if this is the totally best solution: but it's one that I would go for. Good luck with your efforts. You have a man to `salvage' from his sins against you!

Answer 4

If you know he has a mistress, possibility he knows that you know about this. The problem isn't the mistress. The problem is him. Don't get caught up in looking at the other person, place blame where it should be... on your husband. He is the only one who made vows to you. So you have to decide do you want to live like this, do you want to confront it or do you want to leave? Because the possiblity is even if you get rid of her, it's only a matter of time before it will be somebody else. I think you already know that you deserve better.

Answer 5

Are you 100% sure that his secretary is his mistress which you have gather sufficient evidences proven that she is indeeds a threat to you? If you only based on your sixth sense or just heard the rumuors from outsider, please calm down to rectify your suspicious.

Now, let's handle in a mature manner. Your husband's sec is being employed officially by the company and if she did not do anything wrong against the company's policy nor indiscipline herself, there is no way she would be fired without any reason unless she voluntarily resign on her own.

Please do not confront her in front of all the staffs as well your husband as this will only bring embarrassment to yourself as well not giving face to your husband who probably is MD or holding a senior position in the Company and he will certainly will pick a fight or quarrel with you when he is back home.

What you can do, make an attempt to have lunch appointment with his secretary, have a good talk (pls hold your tempers and jealousy) and find out what she is trying to pursue. Please do not forget to bring a tape recorder along with you and hide in your pocket if you are wearing a jacket. Try to lure her showing her true colours if she is only interested to be a home-wrecker or only eyeing on your husband's lust or money. Every single words from her to be well-recorded (this is a concrete proof to show to your husband if he doesn't believe she is that kind of person).

There are few questions you may rised out :-
1) How many years you have been working here and are you happy with the environment?

2) Does my husband (your boss) treats you well - I mean in job assignments?

3) What are you going to pursue for the next few years later?

4) If there is an opportunity for you to promote or upgrade yourself in else firm, would you grab the chance and go?

Lastly, turns to personal question :-

5) Your boss is a married man with family. I fully respect his decisions irregard of office or home matters, that's why I don't interfering which is now beyond the line. I need to remind you that you are responsible to assist your boss in workloads or any job assignments given by the Company. Your personal affairs with anybody is nothing to do with me but if is concern with my husband, I think I have every right to put a full-stop. Don't you think so?

If she starting to feel panic and fear (you will sense it), please do not push her anymore as you will make her leave the place at once which you haven't solve the problem. Calm down and make her comfortable again, saying " If you think I have asked the wrong questions, please do let me know".

However, if she is trying to show her off or jerk at you by saying those remarks which will spite you, Hold your tempers and just keep smiling by saying "Listen, I'm still your boss's legally wife and you should know his characters if you have been with him for a sometimes. You should know he is a responsible and would not desert his family for the sake of you." (Remember, do not say any nasty remarks as every conversation between you and her are recorded).

Last but not least, remind her again that be a mistress is nothing a glory than anybody and your relationship will forever kept in dark.

Answer 6

Oh My Gosh, That is Rough... Well, if you have ever slept with a married man in your past--this is just your karma. But, if you have never slept with a married man (before you wre married), then I am sorry for what you are going through..Well, it seems that your husband is intent on cheating on you--so even his mistress leaves, he'll still have sex with her outside of work, or sleep with another woman he knows..If I were you, I'd think about whether or not this marriage is worth it. Do you have children? If you have children, tell your husband that you need counceling--and in the meantime stop sleeping with him or he just might bring home an STD like herpes or genital warts (which can cause cancer). But, just be fair--are you keeping your husband happy at home? Do you appreciate him, keep yourself looking good and satisfy him?? I'm just trying to make sure I'm beiing fair.. Well if you Do Not have children AND if you're younger than 40--I'd divorce him and move on with my life and get a Fresh Start. My mom told me its better to get divorced while youre still "young and beautiful and can get another husband"..But if guys have been married for 20 years or so, and have like 5 kids--then I dont know what to tell you..Good Luck.

Answer 7

If you know your husband has a mistress,why do you allow it .He has no respect for you. I know when you love a man,its very hard to leave because we always live in hope that there is a chance that things could change,but in this situation there has to be some drastic change.You need to leave your surroundings for a while(on your own)and access you marriage.IT will be a hard road ahead but ,you will grow strength in this.Don't allow him OR HER do this to you.Gather your strength and self respect and leave for a while and if you need professional advice go to a counselor not a marriage counselor,but one for you as to see why you allow this,it will give you abetter understanding about you.You need to work on your self esteem,cut him out of the picture and be kind to yourself.Iwish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

Oooh, a tricky one! There isn't much you can do, but if he has a boss over him i would call or get someone else to do it and complain that she was really rude to you, a few times of doing this and the "big man" will probably fire her. Then again, it could backfire on you as well if your hubby figures out that you had it done.

Most of all, i would confront him and ask him about her. If you are really positive that it's going on and he still says that nothing is, make a trip to that office and catch her alone. then confront her. send hubby out to get something for you and then tell her about how he's married and youre his wife. anything is worth a try. Mostly, do something........the more you sit around and stew about it, the longer that affiar is going on.

Answer 9

I think this is his problem and not yours.
Why does this girl leaving end the cheating?
Has he confessed? What has he done to be trusted again?

He needs to solve this by transferring her because it would make you feel better. If he is worth keeping.....then tell him. "Dear - the fact she is still in the office makes me feel you are in a tempting situation that will keep reinforcing the negative past events....if you do not get her out of your life - you will see her at work events, at the Christmas party, at the office ...and the bad taste in your mouth will never allow you to forgive him as the negative images will keep returning and the forgiveness will be more difficult."

Answer 10

1) Bring in his laundry for her to do.
2) If it's a large office, maybe ask her how her date went last night with your husband.
3) Offer to introduce her to his parents (church friends).
4) Send her an invoice for services your husband performs
5) ALWAYS, remain a lady.
6) REMEMBER, he has a problem that needs to be addressed
7) Send her a medical questionnaire and ask for a doctor's release validating she has no diseases

Okay, it's not funny at all. I know the pain you are going through. You need to be better than they are behaving and make it very clear you are no body's fool. God bless you!

Answer 11

Seems as if you need to worry about how to deal with him, not her. Confront him with what you know and work on making things right even if it takes counseling. If he doesn't want to work it out, seperate. The mistress is not a nice person for doing this, but she really isn't the problem, he is.