How do I prevent my best mate/GF from killing herself?

Question

My Best mate soon to be my GF if all goes to plan said to me on monday night while we were talking that one morning over a coffee she may suddenly go "ah mitch i'm going to go and kill myself today!"
i'm worried about her, she's got problems at home at the moment and hence i'm her shoulder to cry on and the one that she turns too but i'm just scared and am thinking that she may do it one day.

I told her that she aint doing it while I have 2 feet and care like I do, although the caring thing'll never stop but still she then said not to count on it.

so am I ment to feel as scared and worried about her as I do in this situation or is this just her way of wanting even more attention from me?
apart from email and talking to her on the phone everyday.

Jsut so you know aswell we live 2Hours and 45 minutes drive apart, this is around 250KM.

thanks in advance for all of the advice given relevent to the question.

Answer 1

i think you have every right to be worried! but talk to her and find out if she is serious and if she is please get her help cuz no one should ever feel that way!! if shes having problems at home, maybe she could stay with u for a while or something?
best of luck

Answer 2

This is a tough position she has put you in. Really pretty unfair. Having you as a friend - not because you freely are giving yourself to her, but because she is now maybe trying to hold on to you with guilt. Making you a wreck. Putting you on the spot to hang around and be her crutch.

She needs to allow you to make a decision. Either you get to pick her as your girlfriend, or you call her some medical help/ or religious help. You cannot live free or get in a free loving relationship if you are manipulated to love.

I think you need to tell her she has a value to living. She has a value to you and if not you - then the rest of the world. If she helped feed one poor person for a day - she has become more useful and her life would have more meaning. She needs to find her talents and her gifts she brings to the world.

Other people - such as her relationships at home is something she is stuck with ( You cannot pick your parents)....and escaping from them will make her more a loser than a winner as they have won....and you and her have lost. The rest of the world would have lost her talents and goodness. It is a shame and a waste for all the good she could and can do.

Tell her that any talk about her not being there makes the relationship difficult as this talk manipulates the relationship - is she trying to make you feel guilty for not being there for her? Are you to rescue her - and if you don't she will put this guilt onto you for her hurting herself?

I hate to say this, but you need her to fight to live and fight for you. You need to be brave and strong for her and say "girl - I really like you, I want to be her for you, but if I know the end of the movie =- why would I want to watch this sad story. Live this sad story. Make the story a happy ending because you want a happy story future - either together or her finding her talents and gifts to give to the world....

Answer 3

First of all if she talking about killing herself she may or may not really want to die. The thing is alot of people end dieing in a suicide attempt, that was for attention and they just went to far.What ever her reason if she is talking suicide you need to call 911 or take to a hospital where they will keep her for 3 days at least cal. its that way. for observation and what diagnosis to give her, she may just have a chemical imbalance making her depressed. and medication. would help. But by all means take her seriously and follow thur and get her some help or you may not be asking what to do to prevent but about funeral arrangement. I may sound really serious about this and I am. I spent a great deal of life feeling suicidal and tried on occasion thank God i didn't succeed. Everyone isn't that luck.. Please get her help she will thank you later... good luck..

Answer 4

do what your heart tells you to do, just remember don't put her through more pain then what she already is. All you can do is be the best person you can and let her cry on your shoulder. If it doesn't work, make a desicion that will be for the better, and if she goes about the whole suicide thing again, call a suicide helpline. There are tons of them that will get her help she needs when she needs more help then you can give her.

Answer 5

she needs more help than a shoulder can provide, get her some professional help now and if she were to take her life what could you do and it is not fair to you for her to lay this on you. one time a friend of mine whom was an LVN nurse drove her sick neighbor a long ways to a hospital and in my opinion she should have called 911 and she agreed because the have what it takes to save a life;he could have died in her car. what ever happens you are not responsible and if she saying this for attention then another strike against her.tell her parents,get her help and tell her by the way it is a mortal sin to take the life god gave you and that is because you hurt people and the ones that love you ;like yourself self pity not caring about how this would affect you. noticed how a lot of yous came out and alitte hers came out.

Answer 6

You should be worried about her, and don't freak her out by saying "Maybe you need a councelor"...ask her what's on her mind...if she wants to talk about whatever is making her think this...show her you care...that's the best thing anyone could ever do. And If you do that, IF she goes up to actually having a knife in frount of her...she'll think of you, and end up not doing it...if it gets real seriouse and since you really care about her...getting help probably is the only option...give her a number to call and if she takes it harsh...be like:
Look ____, I'm doing this because i care about you and i want you to be in my future...please, do this for me.
Good Luck! I hope she understands that you really care about her!

Answer 7

I THINK U SHOULD TALK 2 HER ABOUT WHY SHE SHOULDNT KILL HER SELF ( 4 EXAMPLE, THAT ULL MISS HER N FEEL LONELY...U CAN ALSO EXAGERATE 2 MAKE HER FEEL GOOD LOL) ALSO, U SHOULD PRABABLY ASK SOME PSICOLOGIST ABOUT WHAT U AN SHE SHOULD DO. ALSO FOR UR OWN SELF MAKE SURE SHE ACTUALLY FEELS SOMETHING FOR U, AND THAT SHES NOT JUST GOING OUT WITH U BECAUSE UR HER SHOULDER TO CRY ON

....IF U KNOW HER WELL, U SHOULD BE ABLE 2 KNOW WHEN SHES SERIOUS BUT BE ALWAYS AWARE THAT SHE CAN DO IT IF SHE IS SERIOUS.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

Ok well this is a really hard question but i thought i wanted to kill myself too. My life was hell at the time and still kinda is. well anyway you need to show her that she is important and she means ALOT to you, thats what my boyfriend did, she needs someone there for her. You need to give her something just to say I Love You. She really just needs to now your there for her. Oh and another thing, Be very Patient!!!!!!!

Answer 9

Can you imagine how you'd feel if she actually did it? Well, stop talking about it and do something....if she's really serious, there's nothing you can do to stop her, but at least you can try to do your best to prevent it...talk is cheap....set up an appointment immediately with a therapist! For both of YOU!

Answer 10

It has been my professional experience that when someone "discusses" suicide they are simply crying for help or, as you said "attention" (which is the most likely). A serious "suicidal" will not usually express it or even threaten to do it.