I arrived at the police station before my exhusband and a few minutes later his fiance came. She greeted me and we chatted a little. Then she went over to the police officer and starting asking questions. I walked over and said to her, please step aside because I have things under control. She was offended that I was offended that she was getting involved. But I explained to her that I felt she was out of line and that I was there and that dad was on the way. Do you guys think I over reacted?
2006-07-26 15:48:18 · 13 answers · asked by Try You 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I really do appreciate her stepping in and helping whenever she does. But at that particular time, I felt I was responsible for handling the situation until their father came and then he and I would work together. I felt she overstepped her boundaries although out of love, for which I am grateful. It was a learning experience. I talked to my ex and explained that I would like her to step in if I can't be there. But IF I am there, for her to step back. Thank goodness he wasn't mad at me.
2006-07-26 16:00:44 · update #1
Yes, you did overreact a little. She has a right to ask some questions, so try not to be so territorial. You were a little frazzled at the time, so I can understand how you would have reacted the way you did. You should apologize to her.
2006-07-26 15:51:56 · answer #1 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you did not overreact. My ex-husband's new wife knows that she is not the mother, she is to be non-exsistant to my children when it comes to situations like this. A situation like this is for parents, she is not the one that the courts and legal system will come to and ask how where the boys raised. In a situation like this, unless she was not sure that either parent was on the way, she should not have even come in the first place. There is helping out because you feel a responsability to your new husband to help him be a good parent to his children from him first marraige, and then their is trying to BE the parent. Sometimes the step parent doesn't realize they are overstepping the boundaries, and need a little help, sometimes they are just controlling jerks that need to be put in their place. Try to explain to her what is appropriate involvement and when, and that she crossed that line, and that while you appreciate her willingness to be a good step parent, she needs to respect the step parent boundaries.
2006-07-26 16:17:41 · answer #2 · answered by sweets 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,especially considering they are not even married,just yet.And you did treat her with respect by greeting her and talking to her.This showed your sons how well an adult behaves.Great!However,when they get married,you need to give her a little bit more say.I am NOT saying to take over,but to be there too.I think you did the right thing.They only have one true mom and dad.The fact that you and your ex are still parenting together should be commended too:)
2006-07-26 15:54:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say it depends on your relationship with her. If you have already excepted her as a parent (step-parent or biological) to help with your sons, then it is good for her to want to know because what does it hurt. But if she is one of those that over-steps her boundaries a lot then nope, i believe you need to show her that if the biological parents are around she needs to listen and not be heard.
2006-07-26 16:07:30 · answer #4 · answered by clover31776 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, you didn't over react to that. If they are not married, what buisness of it is hers? You are thier biological mother and he is the father, it was up to you two to come to a decision. Lord, if she takes and acts this way right now, think of what she will do in the future. She should have kept her mouth shut and waited for her boyfried, your ex, to tell her about it. She is not supposed to dish out any punishment or anything.
I feel that you were in the right.
2006-07-26 15:53:22 · answer #5 · answered by Tracey E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually you might have been nicer or a bit more diplomatic about it, but you were absolutely right. She has no business getting involved with your children while she's not married to your ex... and certainly the police shouldn't give her any information at this point.
2006-07-26 16:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Not in the least. She was totally out of place even showing up without your exhusband in tow. Such is life though. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
2006-07-26 15:54:33 · answer #7 · answered by rookiewriter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
definite, at a mall. It replaced into one among those small ones on the escalator and that i lifted the cap to make certain what ought to take position. A no longer-so-loud alarm went off and that i immediately dropped it and went decrease back to my family individuals. i replaced into 12.
2016-10-15 06:15:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be glad that she cares for you kids not very many women will want to get involved. I can understand that it was sort of the threat but I would rather have someone that cared for my kids rather then not do anything at all.
2006-07-26 15:54:16 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you did not overreact. It's really good that she wants to be involved, but she has to know her boundaries when you or the father are around.
2006-07-26 15:52:02 · answer #10 · answered by adm2576 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋