Once last year a week before our anniversary and again this year the day before coming home from his trip. I'm so mad at him right now that I feel like I don't want to be married any more. We have two young children and I want them to have a stable home. I don't know if I'll ever be happy with him again.
Should I stay with him and make our marriage work?
2006-07-26 15:48:05 · 16 answers · asked by RealityCheck 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The first thing you should do is call your doctor and schedule a complete exam including testing for STDs. Next, you both need to sit down and discuss what happened and why. If you both want to work things out, you should probably look into marriage counseling. No matter what happens, the children's welfare is the most important. Don't bad mouth your husband in front of them because regardless of what has happened, he is still their father.
Good luck!
2006-07-26 16:01:13 · answer #1 · answered by Angie P. 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
So Sorry. My mom is very wise, and she says you guys need to get counseling after I just read this question to her.
This is sticky, simply because you have 2 small children.
Dear, Tell him get tested for HIV & STD's before you touch him again, I'm serious. My aunt's husband gave her HIV, and she and her husband died of AIDS and they left behind 3 small children.
They had to come live with my me and my mom.
Your situation is more serious than you think. I'm in the media, and I worked on an HIV ad campaign in 2004 that dealt with married men who sleep with prostitutes--and we found that the majority of married men Do Not use condoms when sleeping with Prostitutes. They actually pay hookers more money to Not use them--I swear to God.
Call the National HIV Hotline to get info from a councelor at
1-800-342-AIDS.
Confront your husband soon, and be STRONG. Demand counceling. Make him get tested, and dont sleep with him until the results come back. He may say that he used condoms, but that may be a lie--dont trust his words, trust the test reults. After all, hasn't he been lying to you already? Dont let your children end up like my aunts children did--orphans.
2006-07-26 16:52:21 · answer #2 · answered by Plus-Sized &Proud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a stable home is not nessecary one with a mother and father. why in the world is your husband sleeping with prostitutes ??? there are other methods of him reaching his climax. hooker's are just nasty. you can have sex with them for $20.00. Try counsling......talk to him is it a fantasy for him to be w/ a hooker or was he just horney ? if you want to leave him your kids will love you both either way. there will be some hard times but you have to be happy too. i understand you love your kids, but they will understand eventually. If your not happy in the household then no one will be happy b/c you being upset will show, more than on your face.
the only good part about this (i know it sounds crazy) your husband slept with someone that there was no attachment. it would be worse if he was having a long time affair and feelings were involved.
2006-07-26 16:02:00 · answer #3 · answered by zyaire123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, if he loved and respected you so much he wouldn't of cheated on you in the first place. Everyone has fantasy's whats important though, is you don't ever act on them. He knew if got caught he could possible loose his wife and children but obviously felt the sex with the hooker was more important. Tell him he can have the hooker and you hope that she can give him "7 years of marriage and 2 beautiful children."
2006-07-26 15:55:09 · answer #4 · answered by lost_carolina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey if he has done this to you and put you through this pain after cheating on you with a hooker drop him like a cold fish if he doesn't respect you enough to stay true to his vowels get a divorce and find your soul mate I'm sure the kids will surely understand one day .Take the wheel your the driver of your own life not the passenger along for the ride !Follow your heart!!!!
2006-07-26 16:21:32 · answer #5 · answered by lizabeth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you need to make him leave. I know you probably think that ya'll need to stay together for the children, but when you and your husband aren't happy together, then that's worse the kids because they'll know that. If ya'll can separate and be happy, then the kids will be happy knowing that ya'll are happy. Especially, if ya'll fight a lot. The kids don't need that. So, the best thing is the get a divorce, so everyone can get along. Good luck.
2006-07-26 15:54:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIM! Once a cheater always a cheater, and if he is doing hookers then he might bring home a diease that can hurt you. Also think if he is cheating he has to have some kind of psyhological problems going on. He could get abusive or into some illegal things. BEWARE
2006-07-26 16:07:09 · answer #7 · answered by mandy_42003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is totally up to u if u want to stay with him. Its easy for people to say no no don't stay with him but it's different when u are in the situation. Don't stay with him however just for the kids...that could be a disaster! Sometimes things are just better for the kids if their parents are not together. I would for sure make him get tested for everything possible, and u should also.
2006-07-26 16:02:40 · answer #8 · answered by Julie W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to tell anyone what to do. The bottom line is what do you want? I definitely think that you should get some counseling and find out what you want first before you make a decision. Maybe speak to him and find out why. Maybe this is his way of wanting out or maybe he is acting on his fantasies and being a jerk. This is a horrible place to be. Good luck.
2006-07-26 16:01:26 · answer #9 · answered by questionable 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you need to try and make it work through counseling, prayer, and you also need to go have some tests done to make sure he didn't bring any STDs home with him. You have two little ones who didn't choose either of you as parents, so for their sake you guys need to work as hard as you can to repair the damage and move on. Good luck..
2006-07-26 15:56:18 · answer #10 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋