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I am quite perplexed with myself at this time.

I have reccently cut all ties with someone whom used to be my best friend.

I feel no remorse or guilt about this action.
I can freely say that I am very upset with her chosen actions, and not feel bad.

She never crossess my mind in the least anymore, even after two years of being like sisters and almost dating [we're both bisexual].

I loved her like a sister, but now she's just a fleeting memory.

People tell me I should feel bad about losing someone so close..

But I dont.

Is this bad? Should I feel bad about losing my best friend? [or so I thought].

PS.. she isn't dead. We're just not speaking anymore.

2006-07-26 14:31:12 · 7 answers · asked by Patient Paws 5 in Social Science Psychology

7 answers

Nope, I totally agree with you and have been in the same boat. Long friendships can sometimes turn into more of a habit than actually being friends. For example, if you are always doing things together and calling each other and spending a lot of time together, sometimes you are just using your friendship to fill the gaps when you don't have anything else to do. It's like smoking cigarettes...Aside from the physical addiction, a large part of it is habit. You smoke when you wake up with your coffee, you smoke after you eat, you smoke when you answer the phone, you smoke when you drive your car, you smoke before you go to bed. If you break those habits, then it's a lot easier to quit smoking.

But back to your question: I don't know what you say was "her chosen actions." We don't need to know what it was other than that it got you ticked off enough to not want to see her anymore. It's OK to occasionally think about her or what she's doing. If there's no remorse and no regrets, it's fine. Good friends are hard to come by, but there are many out there in your future.

If you are wondering how she is, it couldn't do any harm just to drop a note to her and simply say, "I was just hoping you are well" and leave it at that. Then at least she will know that you are OK too. I don't know if you want to try and rebuild that friendship or not. It may be to advantageous to both of you to have one more talk to vent whatever feelings you have...you know, a final "closure." Just to clear the air.

Good luck!!

2006-07-26 14:58:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5 2

I've been friends with this woman for more than half of my life, she was the first person that I called when my mom passed away. She was so important to me, i called her more often than i call my own sister. But recently she had an argument with my other sister and said something to spite her but it upset me more than she could imagine. She apologised but still i cannot bring myself to forgive her. I know that only time will tell if I will ever come to my senses and forget that this ever happened. It's been a year and I haven't heard from her. I really felt bad but since i live in a different country now and have my own family to care for, she hardly crosses my mind... She WAS my best friend at one point in my life but then maybe we're on a different page of our life's story now...

2006-07-26 15:16:34 · answer #2 · answered by suburbanmom 2 · 0 0

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?
Or saying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.

Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart
If you don't, you might break theirs.

Too many of us hide our true feelings because we are too afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what theywould have done, or could have had.
*What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?
*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?

2006-07-26 15:20:44 · answer #3 · answered by Princess illusion 5 · 0 0

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2016-10-15 06:11:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Omg nice to meet another fellow out there who doesn't have many emotions. My friends do drugs and I think they'll die soon, I won't shed a tear!

It isn't a bad thing that you don't feel bad. That is a good thing. You are lucky, not many people can handle things like this!

2006-07-26 16:49:21 · answer #5 · answered by mathcore321x 2 · 0 1

Sweet dear the fact that you are asking us about this shows us that you are still thinking about her and that you miss her.
I don't agree with you life style but that is not he issue here, you miss your friend.
Call her.

2006-07-26 14:38:01 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Clean 3 · 0 0

Forgive her, let her go, let the issue go, and get on with your life.

And read this>>

http://www.alternativescentral.com/giftofascension.htm

http://www.alternativescentral.com/rulesforbeinghuman.htm

2006-07-26 14:49:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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