I've with my partner for 14 years and we've been married for 5. We've had our ups and downs over the years but for the last 12 months we've had more downs than ups. My hubby hates me doing anything that doesn't include him and is extremely jelous of my freinds to the point where a simple test message from my mate can cause a big row. He goes where ever he wants and drinking with his mates but I'm not allowed to do that without a big row the next day. I'm not saying that I want a single life but I do need to have a life and I do love my hubby but I'm not in ove with him. Recently, a guy I know has taken an interest in me. He's always asking my mates about me and at the moment he seems like the sweetest guy in the world. But I'm married...... So heres my choice, carry on trying to work it out with hubby or split and start again. There are children involved and this new guy is married bt having problems. Please help and be kind...
2006-07-26 13:52:33 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't leave your husband for someone else, especially if he is still married, it will cause complications. I know that you are enjoying the attention from someone else, have been there. I have also had experience with a jealous man and they never really change. It is so unfair that he is doing what he likes and you can't. If you really can't carry on then leave but spend some time alone/with your kids and don't get involved with anyone else for at least a year. Enjoy your freedom, But if the kids are still young I would say you should try and work it out and have counselling, if that doesn't work you will have tried.
Good luck.
2006-07-27 00:48:59 · answer #1 · answered by jaygirl 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
You are not the first or the last to be in that situation that you wrote about. A friend of mine lived with a man for 20 years and they have one child together. From the time they got married he is treating her like a Dog.
A lot of people are nice when you are single with them, from the time they put that ring on your finger. Y ou see the demon in them and by then you are trapped. Your husband is not being fair and only you that hold the key as to were you go from there.
What i will tell you is not to get involve with a married man and children are involve. I'm not going to tell you what to do as i'm not privy as to how well your husband treated you before you got married.
You alone have the key as to were you go from there and if the decision is to move out. You don't want some one that is married and in a marital situation that is similar to yours that you are trying toget out of. This irony is some thing you don't want which ever way you decide to go as you will be like a knot being pulled in both direction.
2006-07-26 14:25:21 · answer #2 · answered by Premio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you wouldn't want to split up with your husband cause of there is a third person involved. I understand your situation, but you don't wanna brake your marriege now, you've worked it out on the past, how different is it now, what you need is a person to give you a word of hope for the best.
You wouldn't wanna see somebody's marriege bieng torn apart because of you, would you? i don't think so.
their marriege is not over yet, they might still work things out, but if you step in the guy's life, it for certain his marriege is heading for the rocks and so is yours.
do the right thing, they are lot of people involved( children ). I'm also a victimised child of my father's actions.
He started seeing somebody's wife while he was married aswell, and where did it leave us as his children, heartaches, pain, loosing the sense to hope for the better.
don't do the same thing to your kids, and to you're family as a whole. it really hurts to people you think it least hurt to.
2006-07-26 14:10:03 · answer #3 · answered by tender-boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm almost in an identical situation as you right now. I'm looking forward to getting my own life back and moving out as i've met someone else who has changed my life and i finally feel so happy again. I've been wanting out for years, but never seemed to have the courage to do it until now. Life's too short - you have to be happy and this situation you are in isn't making you happy. I get exactly the same treatment if i even receive a text message from my mum - it's just got ridiculous. If i get served in the supermarket by a guy, there's another big row. Please make arrangments to leave as soon as you can. You weren't born to please him - you have a life. How dare he think he can treat you like this. Best of luck - but please go soon. X
2006-07-27 05:49:04 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Split and start again. Your hubby sounds like a control freak and a bas. Don't stay in a destructive situ just because its easier to, and dont let the kids sway your judgement about it, even if they dont at first they will understand eventually why you did it. Trust me, it will be better for all in the long run. It's important to be happy.
2006-07-26 14:02:15 · answer #5 · answered by angus1745 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh this is good, your going to love my story,i have been withmy hubby for 16 years , marrage was ok , not great , i met a guy at work , we became close and had a two year affair, we were both married, then one day he getts in a fight with his wife and tells her, we have been over for 8 months , i covered well at my home front, but the wife who i know calls and asked me if i %*#@ her husband i lied of course, but the moral to my storyis that is will come back to get you in the end,
2006-07-26 13:59:27 · answer #6 · answered by jennaslab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, first thing is first, fix the problems in your mariage before you start thinking about some guy and his problems in his mariage.
seems like you guys have been together for too long and he no longer apreciates you that much, time to grab him by the collor and set him straight, if that don't work then leave him and take his money with so that he can't go drinking with his mates, that is punishment.
once you settle your affairs then you can start thinking about some other new guy with his problems
2006-07-26 14:05:33 · answer #7 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go there girl. Try to work it out with the hubbie. Tell him that since he is allowed to go with his friends then so are you. SO tell him. OK (pick one night of the week) and that is your night. If he has a problem with that then tell him he can't go out either. OR when he goes out so do you and see how he likes it.Good luck.
2006-07-26 14:02:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what your asking is for us to say that it is okay for you to have an affair with this man even though you are both married and there are children involved not to mention both your partners. did you ever hear of the word commitment.
you are both committed to your partners. if this relationship is not working then get out of it before you decide to do the dirt on your partner. then and only then is the time to check out the talent. but only with someone who is not committed to someone else. doing it this way saves an awful lot of hurt and tears.
2006-07-26 19:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by michaelnangle2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's a control freak why the hell did you get married to him or did this behaviour just start overnight...
so now youwant us to tell you what to do... bnreak up your marriage and this other bloke who sounds like a real winner too and then start all over again... oh tough choice.. get rid of both of them and look for someone who doesn;'t try to run you life for you.
2006-07-26 14:01:15 · answer #10 · answered by Satomi Motohashi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋