What am I supposed to talk about with people I dont know?

Question

I'm not extremely outgoing and people think I'm shy because I don't talk alot. But my problem isn't that I don't want to talk, it's that I don't know what to talk about. With people I already know, I never shut up, but when I'm with friends who meet up with people I don't know, I fade into the background because I don't know what to say. How can I fix this? What are you supposed to say and talk about with people you don't know and really don't have anything in common with?

Answer 1

you should talk about things you enjoy until someone responds, or ask a person's opinion on something you know they like or are into...

getting a person to talk about THEMSELF is the BEST way to make a new friend...just FORCE yourself to try this and you'll eventually get better at it...

Answer 2

I have this exact same problem. Compound this with a hearing loss (and thus limited speaking and comprehension ability) and I'm pretty much stuck in a corner here. I can get by in some social situations, but let's admit it, I'm not much for talking, either.
Say "hi," find stuff to comment on, bring up current events, and see if you can work from there. It's helped me in a few instances.
Or you can go somewhere where there's already a conversation and join in. Most likely nobody will notice or care. And often it's easier to add to what people are saying already than to start up a new topic. This will help you get to know some people better and be able to talk to them more easily in the future.

You have my sympathies.

Answer 3

the best way to get off the hook and not have to do much talking is to ask a few questions of the other person. people love to feel like you care about what they have to say and are interested in them - and they love the sound of their own voices! i took an effective listening course – just some cd's from the library – years ago and it changed my life. all the sudden i had things to ask and people loved talking to me... it strengthened all my relationships and made me a lot happier... you'll also find when listening carefully, that you probably have a lot more in common with almost everyone that you meet then you would ever guess :) my boyfriend is amazing with people and he says, "people are like music, you might not always like the sound at first, but if you listen carefully enough you’ll find the beat” – it’s a pretty wonderful way of looking at life, even the worst, or most boring people have something about them that is good and something that is interesting… just ask :)

Answer 4

Well, I'm very much the same way even around my friends I am silent, but I notice things.

You can get a conversation started by asking questions of the other people. Act like you are curious about them, even all you want to do is break ice. Ask them what they do for a living, etc, or if they are friends of friends, ask how they came to know your friend, etc. And always ask with a smile :)

If they are just people around you, complete strangers and you feel like saying something, you can make a statement about anything out of the ordinary. Like the weather for example.

Answer 5

Well I had the same problems, and I learned to just get into gossiping more, you'de be surprised as to how many people love to do it. Even my boss. But try to do the healthy kind like "Did you see that ugly dress (some star)" was wearing" rather than talkin bull about someone. I also used to be afraid to voice my opinion becuase I was afraid people wouldn't agree with me, but I just learned to be ascertive with my thoughts and stands. Once you get to that point you can even have arguementative topics about things like "Whos the better President" which are actually alot of fun. Just make sure you don't get into anything where you get the other person angry

Answer 6

I often have this problem, too.
There are a few things you can try to talk about (it depends a lot on what type of social situation you're in):

1. Current events
2. Their job
3. Their family
4. A joke (nothing offensive or racy unless it's that type of person/situation)
5. Bring up something funny (but not too embarassing) that happened to you recently. Share it with them. Hopefully, they'll share something similar. If nothing else, they'll laugh and that's a great ice breaker
6. Your interests (tell them about a new music album you got or a new book you read or something along those lines)

Good luck!

Answer 7

Sometimes you have to look for common ground because it doesn't always come easy. It takes time to get to know people too. I don't say a lot either in those situations but I will sit back and listen. Then when the opportunity to say something comes I know what to say.

Answer 8

As I read more of your questions, I am more and more intruiged. But to answer your question. Small talk sucks. Don't make small talk. That's what yuppies and soccer moms do. I'm very reclusive myself. With my friends I'm like the center of mother ******* attention, but at like a bar or something I just let the night happen and react to it. Usually my buddies rope the chicks and I just flirt with them. Hahah maybe I am the alpha male and just don't know it lol.





p.s. It's good to see someone on this site who can actually type coherently and speak fluently.

Answer 9

I have the same problem, don't overthink it just say hi and ask how they are. Once they start talking just go with the flow of the conversation.

Answer 10

listen to the conversation going on and just join in when they say something that interests you. Current events, news, latest tv shows, books. Ask them about themselves and let them talk.