Alright, I just found out this morning that I am 7-8 weeks pregnant. The man I was dating was extremely abusive and freaked out on me ALL THE TIME...Should I tell him and hope that he will change for this situation...or should I keep this my little secret to protect me and this little one?? Please honest and NICE answers...I'm in a very delicate nature as you might imagine! =)
2006-07-26 13:10:49 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You should use your best judgment for the sake of you and your unborn child's safety.
I suggest not telling him because he may stress you out by harassing you to either become involved with him again or to abort the baby. You certainly don't need to deal with that possibility especially in your condition. Everything that goes on with you with affect the development of your child.
If he is unconcerned about taking the chance at killing you now by being abusive, then the knowledge of a baby is not going to make him start thinking rationally. He needs to seek therapy and be willing to change his ways to stop the abuse.
If I were you I would consider keeping this to yourself until you are in a protected environment and safe from having contact with him.
While you are at it you should file from an order of protection if you don't have one already.
Have your child and go on with your life. Get some therapy so that you can heal from this experience and prepare yourself for the man who truly deserves you.
Take Care of Yourself & God Bless!!
2006-07-26 13:26:23 · answer #1 · answered by anosey1 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I honestly do not think he needs to know. Men can be very threatened by pregnancy and turn violent. I am sorry to say this because I know you asked only for nice answers but I am only trying to look out for you. If he has a tendency to be abusive, a child will not change him.
Did you know that the number one cause of death for pregnant women is homocide? Think about Lacie Peterson.
Turn to your family and friends who love you right now.
2006-07-26 13:20:48 · answer #2 · answered by KEOE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about the outcome you want and the possible outcomes. If he was abusive, you can't change him nor will a child change him. He has to want to change.
I'm not sure that it would be in my best interests if I found myself in your situation to want to involve the father. But only you know this man. If he's physically abusive, you may want to consider your physical health right now. You need to take care of you so you have a healthy pregnancy and baby...
2006-07-26 13:16:13 · answer #3 · answered by keyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless you are wanting him to be a part of the childs life...i'd either wait to tell him or not tell him at all. if you ever expect to get child support from him though, as long as he pays you he has the right to the child (that is only as far as visitation and if you're concerned about the welfare of you or your child, talk to your local child support office or department of human services the people at these places are generally helpfull in your situation and can give you the help that you need). people like that DO NOT change and there is always the chance that it would only get worse once he found that out....
2006-07-26 13:26:26 · answer #4 · answered by srevels2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Lord, I was gonna say "If you want child support you should." Until I read the rest of the question...No, I wouldn't want anything to do with an abusive father if I was you. Protect yourself and the little one. Please. Dont listen to the girl that said he has a right to know and you can get a protection order. It is not that easy. He will also have the right to see his child, and God knows what he could do to mess that kid up for LIFE. Please, please forget about him.
2006-07-26 13:14:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi first, you should tell him, right away may by not!, cause it will not change the ,situation, nor will he change for the nice, love he has for you, tell him, the truth, and tell him what you want, as to your child not for you, be true, let him , be the dad, if he wants, and don't stop him, unless he is really a cruel person or he is a *** hat who want to hert you, then forget what I said
2006-07-26 13:30:10 · answer #6 · answered by gamemanual 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally, I would say the father has a right to know. I think your first instinct is right. I would not tell him for fear of him harming you and/or the baby. Discuss this situation with your doctor. He or she might have some helpful suggesions. Wishing you all the best.
2006-07-26 13:16:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same situation. My bf was 16 and i was 12. I kept it to myself because I was afraid he might hurt the baby. Im glad i choose not to tell because now my 4 year old daughter is happy and alive. But whatever you think is right.
2006-07-26 13:15:15 · answer #8 · answered by meg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An abusive man does not change no matter what the circumstances. If he stops one form of abuse, he will conjure up another form (ie: physical abuse stops, mental abuse starts). If I were in your position, I would go on with my life without the man you were dating - an innocent child deserves tranquility in its life and so do you.
2006-07-26 13:14:47 · answer #9 · answered by Decoy Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie i hate that there are ppl out there like that but for the sake of the child and the guy they need to both know about each other.....make sure you are protected by the law and family....but dont get back w/ him,this is a hard decision but you know whats best for you only you can decide....good luck and i hope for the best for you
2006-07-26 13:30:48 · answer #10 · answered by Vita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋