How does a girl "come out" in high school?

Question

I'm gay, and I'd like to have a girlfriend in high school, but I'm not sure how to "come out." I can't exactly wear a sign on my back saying "LESBIAN; SINGLE AND LOOKING." I think that if it's widely known, I might get raped and/or beaten. I seriously doubt girls go around hitting on other girls until they find a lesbian. How do I do this?

Answer 1

I think you need a guy around just for the transitional period. It would look better. I'd be happy to bang you for a while we figure out a better way to turn you into a full fledged lezbo.

Answer 2

First off do be careful. Some places are more open-minded then others. I would say to tell your friends and family, the friend high school grapevine will let the school know. Be ready for the questions from the curious, insults, and ignore the people that are hateful. You can try to educate some on the issue but don't think you have to now be the model for everything lesbian or bisexual, just be yourself. Maybe wear some rainbow earrings or have a pride button on your backpack. Little things will let people know or they just won't know till you "come out" to them. Go to a GLBTQ youth group in your area too, so you can find support and talk to people about the community. YouthResouce is a good site where you can find one. Much luck.

Answer 3

Well, you *could* wear a shirt like that. I know several girls who that would work quite well on.. :) But if you're more modest like myself, just get to know people and i swear it will come up. no one ever asks if you're gay (not usually anyway), but boys come up often. when it's your turn to talk, don't be afraid to say you're not into boys. if there's someone you like, become friends first. that's the best way to start any relationship, gay or straight. if you're still not sure, don't be afraid to ask. one of three things can happen if you do. either they say no and you still have a new friend, they say no and hate you and you don't need friends like that anyway, or they say yes. now they could still not be interested even though they're gay, but even if you don't have a date, now you have an ally, and where you're at, that can be just as valuable. some school's have GSA's you can join, but they seem to be few and far between at that level.

honestly, i found dating in high school to be useless. you don't have the freedom to persue a serious relationship and there are a lot of "bi" girls out there in high school who will just go straight on you in the end (yes, this happened to me and i got my little heart broken). my advice would be to wait till college; it's a gay haven. everyone's more or less tolerant, more mature, and there are sooo many groups to join where you know everyone is gay, too. it's a real relief, let me tell you. it's where i met my current love and she is amazing.

she, consequently, could tell you a lot more about randomly hitting on girls in high school. she, er, got around... most girls will sleep with you if you're confident enough, apparently, but that doesn't mean they're gay and it's not the best way to find a relationship...

basically, just don't be afraid to ask. use your gaydar. it'll be wrong sometimes, especially before you've honed it, and there are some people with whom you never can tell, but so what? it's the same way you find an any-gendered date: use your intuition and try, try, try again.

Answer 4

Find out if your school has a gay and lesbian support group. These groups are usually kept anonymous and would be a good way for you to meet the other gay teens in your school. Maybe something subtle, like a rainbow sticker on your folder. When I was in highschool I just came right out. A guy asked me out and I politely said "that's very flattering but I don't date boys" it got around real fast. I know that's not the way for every one though. I did catch a lot of flack for it. Seriously, check into the support group. Good luck, you can message me any time. I know it's hard to come out to your peers and support can be helpfull.

Answer 5

Honestly,

You don't come out just yet. Trust me, as someone who has been out of high school many years. From what I can remember, high school students have not reached a maturity level yet where they will stop to think about the feelings of other people different than themselves. Being mean and hurtful towards people who are different than you is a way to ensure popularity in alot of high school cliques. I think if you feel ready to have a girlfriend now, you should do so discreetly and only be out of the closet to people who you know you can trust. One day you will get to college and you will encounter more open minded people with more worldy views.

Answer 6

Most high school girls aren't accepted as anything else but straight.

I'm not expert in breaking the barrier but depending how far into high school you are...I would wait until you don't have to take insults from people. College. There's a time where you will be happy as a lesbian.

College is a completely different turn of events- and if you choose now to come out....well kids are cruel.

I don't think they'll necessarily rape you- I hope not...but...

They won't be nice.

Answer 7

Is there anyone in particular that you are interesed in? Do you know already that she is a lesbian? I'm certainly no expert at coming out, but I would think that just like some girls flirt with guys, you would flirt with girls. Everyone will understand when you act interested in females and not males.

Answer 8

I came out in high school, and my school was very open and accepting of me....i was the token lesbian of the school...everyone knew i was a lesbian teachers, students and all of the staff...i was very open and honest...I brought girlfriends as dates to both my junior and senior prom, and I also wore a tuxedo to both...

I agree with the suggestion to see if your school has a gay/straight alliance or anything like that...I started the one at my school, so if you dont have one maybe you could talk to a trusted teacher who could sponsor it for you.....It is a great way to be yourself in high school...there are strict rules about gsa's...they can be private nd invitation only, so that people cant come in and harass you, it can be a safe place for you and others to go...

Although I was very fortunate to be able to be out and proud in high school, i would only reccomed it if you think that people will be accepting, i dont know what kind of area you live in or what kind of atmoshpere you have at school, but that plays a major role...

If you really feel the strong desire to come out, maybe come out to a trusted teacher or staff memeber, ask them their opinion on you coming out, things like that...

Also, out of your actaul school there is probably a glcc(gay and lesbian community center) that you could go to and meet people your own age, without having to come out in school

There are a lot of opportunities for you to do whatever you feel comfortable with...I dont think yo are too young to come out, If you know you are gay then I say be proud and dont hide it because you are young...you are fortunate to know at a young age!

Best of luck to you!

Answer 9

The good honest and smart way would be to sit down with a few of your closest friends and tell them one by one, delicately explaining yourself, your situation, and hoping them deal with their feelings. Repeat as necessary on person by person basis.

The cheap and easy way is to just tell one person who you know to be a huge gossip and let them do the work of telling people for you.

Answer 10

very carefully