Do I have the right to be upset and angry?

Question

Ok...heres the story. My boyfriend is the manger at a convience store. This morning when he was on his way to work I told him that I really needed his help tognight. (we just moved and I need help carrying some heavy stuff) Ive put it off for long enough so tht is why I told him today "hey, I really need your help tonight"
Anyways, another manager from another store in the same chain called him up and needed help at his store. My boyfriend has worked 16 hour days at his store there is no reason why anybody else cant do it too. Well, he agreed to help....them...not me. He works a lot of extra hours for this company why cant he just say no for once to help his girlfriend out? Im pretty upset....should I be?

i would do it myself...but Ive tried...I cant even lift these things one cm off the ground. Let alone up stairs.

Also...hes on salary so its not like he is getting paid for this extra work.

Ok and I have a full time job myself so please stop with the comments about how "he brings the paycheck home to me"

These are not boxes I am trying to lift these are bookcases!!!!

Answer 1

Be glad he is a very hard worker. He prolly really does want to help you but, he also likes his job and feels that money will help the both of you. Be glad he is a provider by the sounds of it. Many women would kill just to have a man that is like him. I have moved myself alone while my significant other was working. He does his best when he is home and that is enough to show me he cares.

Answer 2

Yes, I can see why you are mad, but maybe he is working as many hours as he can so the two of you will have some extra money. Talk to him about it, if you cant talk about the small stuff how are you going to get through the tough stuff? If you need the boxes moved that badly, I Will tell you the same thing I told my daughter when she moved into her own apartment, there are always strong young boys around that are looking to make a few bucks, pull out 5 or 6 bucks a piece and save your back and get the big stuff moved.

Answer 3

You have the right to be somewhat upset. You should just be honest (but calm) and tell him that you feel like he chose work over you and that that hurt your feelings. Or, if he already agreed to help, then also tell him that you feel upset that he broke plans and that you don't appreciate him saying he'll do something and then not follow through. But don't go overboard - he is working afterall. In the future though, since he works so much, you might want to say, "hey, I am going to need some help in the next week moving this stuff, what's a good night for you?" That way, make him pick a time & stick to it. If he can't follow through repeatedly on what he claims he'll do, then his word is worthless.

Answer 4

That is a tough call. As a woman, I feel the same way when my husband says he has to work extra hours or do something I feel should/can be covered by someone else. The reality of it is, as much as we don't like it, it's part of his job. I give my husband a horrible time sometimes about it, but in the end, I'd rather have him working that come back and tell me he was let go because he refused to do what they asked him to.

Answer 5

Wow, chill out. He's working that hard for you, remember? Plus, you're asking him to work a 16 hour day and then come home and lift heavy things. He'll be tired. Hit him up on the weekend, and stop being such a selfish needy girl. Go get yourself a job and you'll understand.

Answer 6

Yes, you do have a right to be upset. Might I suggest that you and him have a sit down and chat about this problem? Maybe ask him why he working so many hours lately, and why he won't help you out? If you decide to have a chat with each other, don't be upset or angry in the conversation. Have a nice and calm talk.

Answer 7

You have every right to be upset, but understand that he probably needs the money or is afraid he might.. I don't know...but He still loves you...talk to him probably tonight or right now, but try not be harsh or anything, talk really gentle and see what he says, if he treats you like a jerk, then hang up the phone, or tell him how you feel. Just don't make yourself seem selfish, or very upset (I'm not saying you're selfish). I'm sure everything will go ok.

Answer 8

he's focused on his career, at work it's hard to say no to management. I think you shouldn't be upset at all, look at it from his perspective, he's working long hours, management asks him for help, he really has to help out or he's not seen to be taking his job seriously. The other manager at that other store may have helped him out when he needed help, so it works out that you don't burn your work bridges. I also can imagine that after working 16hrs he comes home tired and can't be bothered helping you out. Maybe ask him to help you on the weekend or when he's got spare time. I can understand your frustration, you think he thinks your not important, but that's not true, he's just in a difficult position at work where he can't say no.

Answer 9

No. He is very focused on his career. That means he would rather be successful in his life then try and worry about little problems like moving boxes. And it's not like you told him a few days ahead of time. You just told him you wanted his help and expected it to be done. Next time you want help, especially if you yourself have been delaying it, give him a two day notice. And don't tell him he has to help. Ask him

Answer 10

Take a deep breath & think. Maybe he just would like to not only keep his job, but rise about the herd. Putting in extra hours & helping other stores is smart on his part.