I am married and feel like it is not appropriate to look at other women and I also feel it is unapropriate to "check out" female co-workers. However, I have a female co-worker that is extreamly attractive and regulartly wears low cut shirts and her breasts are nearly falling out. I try not to look but I don't know how. I feel like she is going to see me staring when we have to discuss work issues. If I don't have to I try not to be around her because of my lack of eye control. Can anyone help me with a good way to train myself not to look?
2006-07-26 12:01:38 · 24 answers · asked by ref t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ref t, despite what seems to put me at odds with more then half of the people i just read answering. its not ok to look but not touch. and its not just becuase your a man and its in your vlood to look.. somtimes these people that have given thier spouses an excuse to look around confuse me. im not perfect at what your asking and i have issues with it from time to time. but i love my wife and i have never found it "just ok" to look. several reasons is it puts somone else infront of my wife if for nothing more then a mere second. i dont look at porn on the computer and i dont buy magazines (not even sports illi swim suite )when a woman walks by or through the area i focus in on her eyes if i have to look. i am raising my boys to be men and i refuse to let them ever catch me oggle another woman or cheat emotionally on my wife (their mother ) you have to understand that by allowing yourself to "admire" another woman you are saying the woman you are happily in love with isnt the only thing in the world to you, you have to admit you find other women equally if not more then equal then your wife. it takes time to dull that drive, but the more you look at those women you need to think how it does disrespect your wife and weakens your self control. one day when your wife is 60 and not firm and young, and a 25 y/o comes on to you will you be able to control yourself, will your marriage work. my wife speaks of her father and cant remeber a time he ever was caught looking around, she asked her mom and she says the same thing that he seems to be obliviouse of other women, but says there is nothing wrong sexually with him, he is just old fashion and beleives in one marriage and i think this man is a great role model.
2006-07-26 13:15:49 · answer #1 · answered by joe 4 · 9⤊ 2⤋
OK this advise is worth Millions $$$$ OK, have you wife walk with you, walk around the mall or whatever.. and every time you look at a girl, tell her to kick you in the O_o woohoos. I'm sure you will get it and you will stop looking. For real though, if i see a girl i just usually turn my head or look at the ground, cause I love my girl and I don't ever want to feel like shes not sexy. Plus, it depends how you are looking, cause just looking around and seeing a girl in your view isn't wrong, but walking past a girl and turning your head and running into a pole is not good. Maybe encourage exercises. Tell her you want to go running and you want her to come with you for the conversation. Get her in shape...other than taking your eyes out or the other guys that are shaped the same, I can't say anymore. Good luck and I hope I at least made you laugh a little.
2006-07-26 12:10:44 · answer #2 · answered by 96.7 KCAL ROCKS!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off,Women notice things that men fail to look at.So she probably has already noticed you looking at her breast.You wouldn't be a man if you didn't look.You have to learn how to control how much you look or stare.Start by concentrating on the work you have to do.Short glances are cool,as long as they don't turn into stares.I have noticed that when a woman looks at a man and really don't want him to notice she's looking,as she's talking to you she moves her head like she is looking at something else.As she does that she takes a glance at you or what ever she is looking at on you.It could be she takes that glance to see if you have a ring on your finger,or to see what kind of dresser you are,or take a look at your body type,or how well groomed you are,Cleanness.This is done so that she can make a decision and or talk to her girlfriends to see what they think about whether or not she should continue.What ever it is that she is looking at,she does it so that you only see her looking at you and you will never notice her eyes going elsewhere.You have to practice glancing.It work for them.Be more focused on your job.PRACTICE,PRACTICE,PRACTICE.Figure out what more important ,the job or staring at some woman's breast.Look at your wife more,notice and appreciate her and what you see in her.Focus on i said focus on your wife.Think about her when your at work,call her when you feel you may give the attention she deserves to someone else.Outside work is no different.The more you PRACTICE it will become easier to do.The more you focus on your wife the easier in becomes
2006-07-26 13:07:06 · answer #3 · answered by Willnotlietoyou 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to not ever look. Just make sure you don't in front of your wife. Even women can't help but stare at boobs being put on display. You are a man and men check out women.
2006-07-26 12:06:32 · answer #4 · answered by candis h 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
All I can say is you can look, but don't touch. You're human...just because you're married, doesn't mean you're dead. There will be attractive people everywhere we look and everywhere we go. The only thing you need to worry about is disrespecting her while she's with you....don't start ogling these women in your wife's presence. That's just rude.
2006-07-26 12:13:26 · answer #5 · answered by Dee M 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have trouble with that and I'm a woman! It's not that I find it attractive, but they are just THERE, its very 'distracting'. I hate it, you just have to learn to look at the persons FACE nothing else, train yourself. You're a great guy, for WANTING help on this subject. Good luck, and look UP...lol
2006-07-26 12:06:44 · answer #6 · answered by PeachyFixation 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOOKING does not make you a cheater. Every man and woman is going to look at someone else besides their spouse. There's nothing wrong with it. There are plenty of beautiful people out there, what's wrong with admiring it? As long as you don't touch or make an advance toward those people, you're not guilty of anything.
2006-07-26 12:05:37 · answer #7 · answered by youdontknowme 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's a weakness that men are born with and the only defence is to flee. That's why the Bible teaches that a woman should dress conservatively so as to not cause a man to stumble. It's a tough world we live in.
2006-07-26 12:25:56 · answer #8 · answered by Go Rush! 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your a man and your alive, so you are always going to look. You have to learn to be very discreet when doing it though. Example, if you see a good looking woman, look the other way instantly, this way your wife will notice you not checking her out. Then, when she's pretty much of an after thought, check her out on the down low.
2006-07-26 12:59:03 · answer #9 · answered by WestCoastin4Life 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dude, you're freaking yourself out. Just look at something else. For one thing, it'll help you at work. That girl wears those shirts for the express purpose of throwing guys like you off their game. Be a man, and show a little self discipline.
2006-07-26 12:06:41 · answer #10 · answered by Beardog 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Us men are visual creatures. God created us that way. There's nothing wrong noticing as we bounce our eyes off of her and somewhere else. When we keep staring or going back for more looks, that's called lusting.
There's a book that helped me called;
"Every Man's Battle"
It will help you.
2014-01-29 23:39:03 · answer #11 · answered by davebflying 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋