My boyfriend is German and 'funny' about certain things.... especially about telling people that I have kids from a previous relationship... my girls are 8 and 10 years old... they are very sweet, and often wonder why they can't go with me and him places... I know he is afraid to tell his parents that he is serious with a girl who has kids, is divorced, etc... now he has ME scared to tell them too.... (just met them last night, and they are VERY friendly... !!) But I know German's are more uptight then Americans, esp about the 'proper' or 'right' way to do things.... so I am just wondering... obviously at some point the truth must be told... that I am divorced, with kids, etc.... I do want to be married (to him!) and have more children.... he is 34, and I am also.... we have been together over a year now... so my question is, is it NORMAL to not tell the parents that the person has kids? And at what point DO you tell... and isn't it more uncomfortable to 'come clean' later?
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40 seconds ago
Keep in mind that it may just be the fact that I have been married before (this is a man who has never even lived with a girl, and who takes committment seriously- ) it may be that the fact that I have been married before is scary to mention to his parents who have been married for years.... maybe he thinks they will be disappointed or concerned that he is with a woman who is divorced and who might (in their minds) potentially divorce HIM... maybe that is the concern... to tell the truth, I suppose I have thought the same thing... the questions 'why did you get divorced?' where is the father, etc etc.. I'm not anxious to be asked those questions, when what I really want is for them to adore me!! Still, they only come here from Germany once a year (their english is good)... they seem like very sweet, normal, old-fashioned people... I can't blame him for not wanting to bring it up.... can you? SOME families, esp American, maybe it would be no big deal...
2006-07-26 11:46:37 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Dont you care about your kids?? You should think about they feel. They probably feel like you are ashamed of them. You should be proud of your past marriage, and your girls-
Is this man really worth having to pretend you are someone else?
2006-07-26 11:53:19 · answer #1 · answered by nat_00420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I want to know is: Why cant your kids go with you and him places? and what in the world would make you want to be with a man that makes you choose between him and your kids? and Why is the choice not obvious to you?
What is wrong with you that you would be with someone like that, you are the one that laid down and had your children, and they are your responsibility for the rest of your life they need to come first. Grow up and be a good mother instead of a good girlfriend seeing that you cant do both.
People like you really piss me off.
2006-07-26 12:00:52 · answer #2 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THOSE ARE YOUR CHILDREN!!! Kids are smarter than people think, and they might think you are ashamed of them. Be proud of them and show them off. Some people aren't lucky enough to be able to have kids, so since you already have two beautiful children, a man and his family will love you regardless and take your children in also if it's real to begin with.
2006-07-26 11:51:00 · answer #3 · answered by ejjeffery 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand you being scared to tell them. yet heavily. they are your infants. i'm advantageous you're happy with them in simple terms as i'm happy with my son and desire to instruct him off and talk approximately him for all time! it quite is not honest to them or to you to cover them and you will not have the skill to cover them continuously. So, as quickly as they discover out, they are going to probable think of you're extraordinary in case you wait an prolonged time to tell them. Who do you value greater? Him or your infants? For me, young ones continuously come first. No offense, yet he needs to advance some ba!!s and tell his mom and dad. i desire to fulfill a guy that loves my son like his very own, fairly if we are going to get married and function greater. I propose, how previous is this guy the place he's scared what human beings think of? while you're thinking interior the long-term, honesty is the appropriate coverage.
2016-12-10 15:11:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go up and say hey i have kids and if u dont like it bite
2006-07-26 11:50:16 · answer #5 · answered by loganlovesgod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋