he has tried so many times to give up and i have always stood by him. I would feel i failed him if i walk out so i can be happy. what should i do ?
2006-07-26 11:24:06 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If he's serious about getting sober, he needs to go to regular meetings, either an AA meeting or a more specific faith-based program such as Celebrate Recovery (Christian). He needs to get a sponsor and work the steps. The relapse rate for alcoholics is very high to begin with, but working a program will increase his chances of staying sober.
For you, get yourself to a meeting also. For your sake and his, you need the support of people who have been (are) in your shoes and can provide guidance and tools to help you. I'd suggest either Al-Anon or, again, a more faith based program such as Celebrate Recovery. If you haven't been to one of these meetings before, and if you're serious about staying with him, I would definitely try this step before leaving. Sometimes, unwittingly and out of love, the people closest to an alcoholic/addict can do things that are counter-productive to getting sober.
But remember, in the end, it is his actions and decisions that will lead to his sobriety. Unfortunately your love and support alone cannot change him. Many alcoholics have to "hit bottom" before they are able to get sober. "Bottom" is a very subjective thing and is different for everyone. It may be that he will not reach that point until after you leave.
Blessings,
2006-07-26 20:35:25 · answer #1 · answered by Cat 2 · 10⤊ 1⤋
Do what he's asking you to do! You won't be failing him - you're failing yourself by staying! I can understand the whole wanting to stand by him and try to make the best of the situation, but its been 6 years and not much has changed.
Do this for YOURSELF! Get out and be happy.
2006-07-26 11:30:10 · answer #2 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go find someone to make me happy he is only gonna stop if he wants to you are only failing yourself by not living happily and in a healthy relationship
2006-07-26 11:29:43 · answer #3 · answered by sashaaspen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't waist anymore of your life hoping that this guy will change!!! I was in a similar situation and I always felt sorry for him and I also supported him going to all of those meetings giving of myself I cared more about him then he cared about himself . And just remember you can't help someone that won't help themselve.
2006-07-26 11:45:24 · answer #4 · answered by bubbles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably right. Since he is not willing to give the booze. But I know you hate to give up on him but maybe it's for the best.
2006-07-26 11:30:13 · answer #5 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
drag his *** to an aa meeting ....
2006-07-26 11:28:38 · answer #6 · answered by ibrushallday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋