I am a 36 year old real estate salesperson, and soccer mom. My husband and I have a very active sex life, and he hates pantyhose, but loves me in a garter belt and stockings. When the kids were younger, I stayed at home, and took care of them, then dressed up in stockings and a garter belt when my husband came home.
A couple of years ago, when she was about 10, my oldest daughter started wearing pantyhose. I didn't think much about it because some of her friends did to. Last year she took noticed that I would change a garter belt in the evening, and ask why. I told her that it wasn't healthy to wear pantyhose all day.
Now when cleaning her room I noticed one of my old garterbelts with stockings still attached under her bed. I always unhook them, so I know she was wearing them.
What do I say, she has obviously figured out I wear them for my husband, and is probably trying to inpress someone too. I am at a loss as how to approach the situation. Am I overeacting?
2006-07-26 11:20:44 · 17 answers · asked by Courtney 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I think that it's time for "that talk". If you approach her in a positive way, I think she'll be more open to talking with you. The best time could be before bed time, especially if you have a bedtime ritual. Or you could tell her that you two need some "girl time" and take her out for the day and do something special- maybe go to the mall to buy underwear? I would come right out and ask her why she's wearing them. Try not to be accusatory because that will put her on the defensive and she'll close up.
She might just be wearing it because she knows you wear it and she probably wants to be like you and it makes her feel grown up. If she is wearing them to impress someone, let her know that she can always talk to you about boys and her feelings. But no matter what, you need to let her know that she can talk to you and that you will listen. You also need to tell her the truth, probably not the whole truth, just a watered-down version. If she asks, tell her that you like wearing them because they make you feel good. If anything if she finds out that you wear them because her father likes you to, that might be icky enough for her to stop wearing them until she is older.
I hope this helps and that things work out!
2006-07-26 11:32:28 · answer #1 · answered by shoeless wonder 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You prpbably don't want to hear this, but I am 16, and started wearing my sisters stockings at 14. Check her for thongs, they are the first thing young girls go for, and that is the main reason most women now under 30 prefer stockings or hold ups to pantyhose. The pantyhose cover up the whole idea ot the thong.
Sorry, I don't think this is what you wanted to hear, but you need to know what goes on now in middle school. At 12 she knows exactly why you change to a garter belt in the evening. Everybody knows how sexy thi highs are at that age.
2006-07-26 11:44:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesnt know that its for sex (unless you make it a habit of getting ready to have sex in front of her) then maybe she thinks that its not healthy to wear pantyhose all day and thinks that wearing stockings and a garter belt is what is supposed to be done. Instead of lying to her, you should have told her the truth I mean she is 12.
2006-07-26 11:32:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you did set an example for her, you can't be surprised. Have you had "the talk" with her? If not, maybe it's time you do that, and explain to her that that's why you wear those stockings, and that she isn't old enough to start doing that yet. But don't traumatize the poor girl. Remember that trying to get sexual attention is normal at almost every age, so don't make her feel like she's doing something wrong or dirty.
2006-07-26 11:30:42 · answer #4 · answered by LEG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is one of those to little to late sorta things. i am not going to sit here and tell you what you should of done but i will sugest what you should do. you should reallize that she is ten and is not trying to impress some one she has it hidden because she does not want you to know she took it. she wants to dress and be like you. However watch who she hangs out with and see is she is interested in any one. Its not to early for you to have the sex talk with her but do not tell her thats why you have the garter belt. let her connect the dots when she is ready. Relax.
2006-07-26 11:42:29 · answer #5 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you shouldn't have done it in front of your kids anyways.. But you can ask her about it, dont bring it out all at once, just kiinda of hint around it. Or if you were going to be a "cool" mom you could just leave it, Because she doesnt want to buy her own ... let her have some fun (as long as it doesnt go too far) BEST OF LUCK
2006-07-26 18:08:02 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you just tell her that stockings and garter belts are for adults and are inappropriate for kids and she shouldn't take your clothes without asking.
2006-07-26 11:27:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that's for adults in a committed relationship. And tell her she can't wear them. Never forget to tell a child NO. And it's probably time for another talk if you know what I mean.
2006-07-26 11:26:36 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should have made a time to conceal what you were doing and let her believe you didn't do this anymore. that's just strange. why wouldn't you just lose the pantyhose when you got home. why change at all?
2006-07-26 11:25:09 · answer #9 · answered by tomiyo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well she is twelve so just tell her that untill shes married its not approprate for her to act like this...now dont gross her out and tell her you and your husban have sex but just make her relize that her doig this is very unappropreate and that if guys only like her for that then they dont really like you...if she countinues to do this take more action like locking up you garter belts and stuff....
2006-07-26 15:09:17 · answer #10 · answered by Jen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋