I met this friend through a friend at the bowling alley one night. We exchanged and conversated, hung out, and eventually began having sex. We had both just recently gotten out of a relationship and weren't looking for anyone at the time. Now, I've fallen hard for him 9 months later. He says that we'll be together soon, but to hold on because he doesn't want to enter a relationship with baggage from his past relationship. I've been waiting for 9 months, being faithful and doing everything with him as if we are already together, but is this just a front to keep me or is he sincere in getting himself ready for a new relationship. I care about him and would like to wait on him, but I don't want to play anyone's fool. HELP!!!
2006-07-26 10:52:56 · 21 answers · asked by Charlies_Angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
EXCUSE ME? but you've been doing everything with him including sex. Want a reality check??: you ARE with him.
He only means that he wants to leave doors open for him to cheat whenever he feels like it without being blamed for it as much as if he admitted that he is having a serious commitment with you.
Sorry but I think you ARE being his fool.
2006-07-26 10:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by Nia24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you say "We exchanged and conversated, hung out, and eventually began having sex". HELLO? I didn't hear you say anything about dating. Problems always arise when we try to skip a step in the relationship building process. Dating is important. If he has never taken you out in public, then he's hiding something. Perhaps he's not that interested in a relationship with you and just wants to use you for sex until he finds his soul mate. Do you want to be used?
Don't spend one more minute waiting for this putz. He's obviously hiding something about his situation or you would be together. My guess is he's married with no intention of leaving his spouse.
Stop sitting around waiting for him. Don't be home when he calls. Go out with other guys. Have a life. Don't wait for him. Believe me when I say if he wanted to be with you, he would have untangled himself from whatever he's entangled with.
You've waited long enough. Go get yourself a life.
2006-07-26 18:00:39 · answer #2 · answered by CleverGal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, BOTH of you were not ready to be getting in the sack immediately after ending a relationship. You both needed to heal and find yourselves. I really don't know much about this guy so I can't really tell from what you're saying if he's playing or not. My suggestion is: Give him a couple of months, and see where he is then. If he hasn't changed at all... then give him the boot.
2006-07-26 17:55:55 · answer #3 · answered by Private Account 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what happens when the sex and the Friendship is good,you fall in love over time....but if the other person won't commit ,Move on, and get over it....There are many Fish in the sea.....I know its hard to because you feel you have wasted 9 months of youre life, But you gotta do it, or your going to wast more time down the road when he cheats......I know I was a Player not to long ago myself....Hope you find the Love you Seek.
2006-07-26 17:55:44 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont want to be anyone's fool then leave the relationship now. If he loves you, he will get his @hit together and ask you to start a relationship. But if he's getting the milk for free, why buy the cow? Hope it works out!
2006-07-26 18:03:03 · answer #5 · answered by Feeling Froggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already played the fool by having sex with him. You have shown him that you are easy and that there is nothing he needs to work for. Coming out of one relationship and jumping onto another doesn't mean go ahead and give up the cookies.
2006-07-26 18:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is one way to find out, no more sex until you actually enter a relationship. That will give you your answer with a quickness. By the way what exactly does he consider having a relationship if its not talking, hanging out and having sex?
2006-07-26 17:56:58 · answer #7 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He after the truama & upset from the death of a relationship, seems 2 want 2 take his time, this time around.
I get a gut-feeling is he's on the level, but I can C UR worried.
A long chat with him wouldn't hurt, words now is better than tears later on.
2006-07-26 17:58:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are meant to be together then don't stress about it. You two need to sit down and tell each other what you both of you really want and go from there. Definitely don't rush him into a relationship it will never work. He may be scared of getting hurt. Good luck!
2006-07-26 17:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by jessie c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite him out to a "Meet and greet", which means, a coffee shop and sit down and have an open comversation about what is on your mind. Be yourself. Encourage him to speak his mind and tell you exactly why things are the way they are. Tell him you don't like waiting and don't want to feel like your being used by him. Make sure you tell him everything that is on his mind.
You can't wait forever for someone. Time ticks forever ahead and we can't stop that., no matter who is in our lives.
2006-07-26 17:57:06 · answer #10 · answered by snorkelman_37 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋