can you tell me what you think of this poem?

Question

this is for first thing i've written for somebody else so i want it to sound good so constructive critisism is very much appreciated. and i know a few words might be spelled wrong.


the time we shared has come and past
the memories begin to fade,nothing seems to last
people come then say goodbye
even starts fall from the sky
but in my heart you will always stay
through years apart and miles away
cuz there is one thing that will never end
and thats the love of a true friend
faults we have and mistakes we've made
but the bond we shared shall never fade
the only mistake to which i fear
is for you to feel alone and forget that i am here
so through broken hearts and lonely nights
through times of luaghter or drunken fights
here for you i will forever stay
never further than a phone call away

Answer 1

the time we shared has come and past;
the memories begin to fade,
nothing seems to last-
people come then say goodbye-
even starts fall from the sky.

but in my heart you will always stay
through years apart and miles away
'cause there is one thing that will never end
and thats the love of a true friend.

faults we have and mistakes we've made,
but the bond we shared shall never fade.
the only mistake to which i fear
is for you to feel alone and forget that i am here;
so through broken hearts and lonely nights,
through times of laughter or drunken fights,
here for you i will forever stay-
never further than a phone call away.

Answer 2

damn girl, I think its totally awesome.
I've been writing since I was 15, I'm 34 now.
May I use it?(not as my own.)
To give to my ex best friend...
we havent spoken in almost 2 years now and I miss her so bad.I feel exactly what your poem said.
I love that poem!
go to poetry.com and publish it. now.
so no-one steals it from you.while your there you can check out one of mine. I wrote it like 15 years ago.
heres the link!
email me and I'll tell you the pros and cons of poetry.com
I will say this though..the best thing about poetry.com is the fact that you can publish your work online! I love that!
http://www.poetry.com/Publications/display.asp?ID=P3999670&BN=999&PN=2

Answer 3

i like it. the beginning was kinda rocky. but other than that you have you're own style. i'm also a poet, but i think you did pretty good. i liked some of the phrases and words in there too. and im not just saying that to get best answer! :)

Answer 4

poems sometimes reflect on ones life, was this based on a friendship that you had with someone who went away. If so it is very good. I like how you end it. continue to express yourself thru poems. I could feel goosebumps, becuase I can place myself with what you are saying.

Answer 5

Although some of your grammar can be fixed up a bit the poem itself was very good. You can go to www.poetry.com to post your poem on the site and to enter all kinds of contests......Good Luck!!

Answer 6

"even starts fall from the sky" stars are starts?. It would be better this way:
"Even when the stars fall from the sky
In my heart forever you'll stay"

I really like it.

Answer 7

A few words are misspelled but.....
I thought it was very good!! ☺

Fix the spelling errors before you give it to your 'somebody' and I'm sure he/she will appreciate it very much!!

Answer 8

I really like this poem. It shows how dear you hold your friendship/love for someone special. Whoever you wrote that for should be grateful to have a friend like you.

Answer 9

I love it. Good job=]
(I think you meant "even stars fall from the sky")

Answer 10

nice. sweet. very intimate, personal. you might change drunken fights to 'stupid fights' hehe or something like that. um...grabby ending...good.