I got some tips about writing poetry in a previous question I asked. . .For those who read it, or if you haven't, how's this, it's my newest poem:
Oh, don’t you see it?
The way that we do,
How the one that we envy,
Most of all, is you.
You’re beautiful,
In body, mind, and soul,
Yet you don’t think so.
You’re kind in your heart,
And all around good,
You do so much,
Often more than you should.
We love you so much,
You’re such a good friend,
We’d stick by your side,
Should the world even end.
Some guys could love you,
With all of their heart,
But you’re set apart.
By your love for him,
He’s not even worthy,
But you love him all the same.
Why? We often ask,
But you don’t know,
Anymore than us,
Why you can’t let him go.
Oh, and it hurts us,
To see you fall,
Time and time again,
‘Cause he’s hurt us all.
So we love you as much,
And hope for the best,
Though we see how it hurts you,
This weight on your chest.
2006-07-26 10:49:56 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
But we love you so much,
More than words,
More than anything:
You’re our friend,
Until the end of all ends.
And we’ll be here for you,
For ever,
Until the fall of the sky.
Until the grass stops growing,
And your love has past,
We’ll be here.
For you,
For our friend,
Until the end.
2006-07-26 10:50:05 · update #1
Oh, don’t you see it?
The way that we do,
How the one that we envy,
Most of all, is you.
You’re kind in your heart,
And all around good,
You do so much,
Often more than you should.
Some guys could love you,
With all of their heart,
But you’re set apart.
By your love for him,
He’s not even worthy,
But you love him all the same.
Why? We often ask,
But you don’t know,
Anymore than us,
Why you can’t let him go.
But we love you so much,
More than words,
More than anything:
You’re our friend,
Until the end of all ends.
And we’ll be here for you,
For ever,
Until the fall of the sky.
Until the grass stops growing,
And your love has past,
We’ll be here.
For you,
For our friend,
Until the end.
How's that? Short enough now? Is it better? All tidied up to everyone's liking?
2006-07-26 18:34:45 · update #2
it's a very nice poem you wrote...I think there's nothing wrong with it...or at least I think...
2006-07-26 10:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by falcongrl89 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Do i know you because that poem touched me even if it was a little too long cutit down just a bit and enter it in a contest and see howyou do
2006-07-27 00:59:27 · answer #2 · answered by k_s_cat7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is a great poem but way too long.
2006-07-26 18:19:20 · answer #3 · answered by Courtney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
too long
I believe only few will respond in a manner that will help u.
2006-07-26 17:53:55 · answer #4 · answered by ♪►♫ - Saurabh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋