My "best friend" Kelly says that I have a drinking problem. She's been saying this for a couple of months now and i'm finally admitting it.
Now though she keeps asking me if I want to go out into town one night. I've said yes but I don't want to go to Zanzibar (the club we always end up in) becuase I'm trying to take it step by step with not drinking.
The problem is that she says that there is no way that she isn't going in there so I will have to not go. I feel really alone and like she is not prepared to help me in my hour of need.
What should I do? Stay friends with her or not?
2006-07-26 10:47:22 · 13 answers · asked by lost_boy25 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
you've got to put yourself first. your needs and your future matter more than anything. perhaps while you have a problem she feels superior but now you're dealing with it she's undermining your efforts. this isn't friendship, this is a power game that won't help you to recover. often when we change our friends don't like it but it's a big world and we need people around us that support our goals.
2006-07-26 23:13:13 · answer #1 · answered by minerva 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that since you have decided to quit drinking altogether, you are not comfortable going to a place where the temptation to drink is there. If she doesn't want to respect your request, DUMP HER! A true friend would help you in your endeavour to quit drinking.
On the otherhand, it's also about willpower. If you've already made up your mind to quit drinking, this is one way of testing your commitment to quit drinking.
I stopped smoking 2 weeks ago, it wasn't a conscious decision, just didn't feel like smoking and 1 week after stopping, I was in a bar having a drink and I didn't have the urge to smoke at all. I guess being there with a really cute guy kinda helped too!
I applaud you for accepting that you have a problem and are taking steps to get rid of it. Good luck!
2006-07-26 11:19:54 · answer #2 · answered by gipsy_queen99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if I would drop her as a friend all together, just step back from her for the time being. Not to sound harsh, but other people are not going to stop their lives because you are making a change in yours. It is up to you to know what you can and can't handle, and just say no when she asks you to go out.
I would also try to sit down and talk to her about your feelings about this whole thing. Let her know that you took her advice and saw the problem that you have, and that you are looking to her as your friend to be supportive to you. If she IS a true friend, she will be able to take one night away from clubbing to hang with you.
2006-07-26 10:58:07 · answer #3 · answered by hethbabe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would she try to get you to admit you have a drinking problem and then turn around and get you into the bar. A real friend would be sitting at a coffee shop talking about sober things with you.
2006-07-26 10:51:32 · answer #4 · answered by shellybellycocoapuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a true friend but you must realize that the its really up to you to control your drinking. It could be that she is testing you to see if you really changing. You can always go to the same club and what really matters is how you control yourself. Just keep telling yourself that you are not drinking and resist any temptations to drink. Im sure you can still have fun without drinking.
2006-07-26 11:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No and you need to find some new friends that can do things with you that don't involve drinking and going to bars.
2006-07-26 10:54:05 · answer #6 · answered by MAJeff 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesnt sound lyk a gd frend id keep her as a frend but not one of ur gd frends jus sum1 2 chill wit but if she still is persistin 2 go 2 places wher they serve alcohol then mayb u shud fink twice an tell her that shes not helpin!!
2006-07-26 10:51:18 · answer #7 · answered by ♥abi♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay friends but get a bit of space, mate. Yes, she should be supporting you and maybe she will yet.
Good luck!
2006-07-26 10:58:39 · answer #8 · answered by izzieere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is being a good friend becouse she told you
that you have drinking problems and she is trying to make you better life so you dont do anything stupid with drinking
be her friend trust me
2006-07-26 10:52:57 · answer #9 · answered by BabY g!RL.. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
again, tell her how you feel, get it all out there in the open and if she still doesn't budge, then dont talk to her anymore.
2006-07-26 11:15:44 · answer #10 · answered by starbucks_girl37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋