why does my husband do this!!..all women please answer?

Question

Everytime we fight my husband just says he wants to call up My parents and complain. I tell him its too childish but he says i have false ego and thats why i dont share anything with my parents!!
Am sure all women will agree...no women would like to share her difficulties with anybody else..specially family matters...al women out there? Wont you agree? Would you share every tiny little thing with your parents!! Its ridiculous i mean...we are not kids now and every family has its INTEGRITY ...which should not be broken outside.
Do i really have false ego there?

Thank you everyone for your answers...

Am going to write him a strong email telling him why doing this is bad... i agree with what you say...

Answer 1

Sounds like he's a child and not an adult. This is more like when my brother would threaten to tattle if I said a bad word or did something I wasn't supposed to. Tell him to grow up. He wouldn't like you blabbing all to your girlfriends, or his guy friends or whomever...

Even my brother stopped that sort of nonsense by the time he was 16.

Answer 2

3. His mother and father did that to their mother and father and the cycle continues.

It sounds like your husband feels that ...
1. your parents will side with him because he is favored with the parents. Or that your parents will back him up because they are of the schooling that the husband is always right.

2. He thinks that you regard your parents opinion as law and if you are not willing to ask them about it then it must mean that you are not sure about the answer yourself.

I totally agree that it is a childish thing to say in the middle of an argument. The lines of communication and problem solving need a little attention. You should not allow him to play mind control games though... this is not healthy for him or you.

You must recognize that you loose control of the argument at that point and you must get really upset. He is just using it as a way to a means of ending the argument.

You are also right to say that you don't need to bring everything to your parents. That should have stopped a long time ago...so look at the reasons why he is making you do that. More often than not it is because he is trying to gain control.

Good Luck in your relationship and tell him to fight his own battles and leave the family out of it.

Answer 3

I don't know what a false ego is and I do not know what kind of relationship your husband has with your in laws. At a minimum, sharing arguments with others biases those people against the loved one over time. When you reconcile or resolve your fight, the external parties are typically not part of that reconciliation and maintain that negative perception of the other. The real question here is, what do your parent think of his behaviour and why do they not discourage it....and he is acting like a child.

Answer 4

Your husband is an immature moron. Call his parents and let them know that they produced an idiot child! It is ridiculous and I would do nothing but laugh in his face, of course, if he actually called my parents they would just tell him to grow up anyway! My mom passed away years ago, but just the image of someone calling my father with something like this is HILARIOUS! That boy would be so put down he's be afraid to use the phone, ever again, no matter who he was calling! And being a parent I can't imagine some idiot calling me to complain about my daughter...LOL would I have fun with his lame a$$! He would get no satisfaction from them! Give this all the respect a ridiculous idea like this deserves...namely NONE!

Answer 5

It is a very bad idea to go whining to either set of parents about your marital problems. Not only does it show immaturity, but he will end up fosteing ill feelings between the in-laws and himself. They love their daughter and are not going to take his side no matter how right he may be. (It's a parent thing.) You and your spouse may resolve your issues but they will view him in a poor light for being such a childish whiner. They most likely do not want to know what goes on in your relationship. Confide in friends and keep the family out of your business. That way at family reunions, the extended family will not have any dirt on you two to gossip about.

Answer 6

I don't believe you have false ego. An argument between a husband and a wife is just that.. between them.. NOT the parents. It is very childish to call the parents, that would be like tattling.. (good grief) Tell him to grow up and start settling you two's argument between the two of you only.. or the marriage won't be that strong.

Answer 7

He is treating you like a child "I'm going to tell your parents". He needs to grow up and act like a mature adult and deal with the problem himself. I agree that you and your husbands personal business should stay between you and him not family.

The next time he says he is going to call your parents say OK fine let me get yours parents and other relatives on the line also so they can all hear about our problems and will not feel as if they are being left out of our business.

You also need to talk to your parents and tell them that the next time he calls they need to politely say im sorry we cant talk about that talk to your wife. Make your parents understand that they might be the cause of a divorce if they keep this up - im sure they will get the hint.

Answer 8

No, I don't want anyone sharing with my parents are their parents. He sounds very childish and he likes to use this over your head because he knows this bothers you. Try this it might work or not. Tell him call them, you will dial the # for him and then tell him when he's done you will call his parents. See what he does then. The look on his face should be enough. If that doesn't work, I don't know what you could do then.

Answer 9

The reason he wants to call your parents is because he's hoping to shame you, or because he's hoping they'll side with him and have some influence with you. Notice he doesn't want to call his parents... which would indicate things really are bad between you and he needs his family to talk to. He's just trying to push your buttons and gain a psychological advantage. You should let him complain to your parents once or twice and let him get embarrassed. That will put a quick stop that that noise.

Answer 10

Either you left out a very important part of the story, or your husband is an idiot. Why would he want to drag your parents into every little marital arguement? That is totally inappropriate. I think the two of you might want to think about seeing a marriage counselor to learn how to deal with your issues in a mature way!