I went with my previous girlfriend for 5 years then she dumped me for someone else before I could give it to her. We went together through my senior year of high school and all four years of my college. I have gone with my current girlfriend for 1.5 years. My current girlfriend knows I had given my former girlfriend a promise ring but she does not know I bought her an engagement ring. Would like to give my current girlfriend the ring I bought for my former girlfriend. It is a very, very nice diamond solitaire. I would have it reset before I give it to her. I took my current girlfriend to look at rings then my mother suggested I give my current girlfriend the ring I currently have and save money.
2006-07-26 10:32:59 · 103 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Save the diamond get a new setting, but if you want the relationship to work from now on be more honest/open about your past.
2006-07-26 10:35:08 · answer #1 · answered by VL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you take the diamond and have it reset into a ring your current girlfriend likes, I would say that is acceptable. As others have mentioned, but I intend to do more eloquently, using the ring bought for another woman is completely inappropriate. You bought that ring out of love for someone else. She may never find out, but if she did (women have ways of finding out) she would be very hurt. You need to either trade in the ring completely for a new one or at least take the diamond and get a new setting for it. A new setting for an old diamond is not inconsiderate or wrong. You are getting a ring specifically for your girlfriend. Getting a new setting for the old diamond is no different than taking a diamond from the family jewels and having it set in a ring for a loved one. Any which way it goes, I hope she says yes!
Good luck.
2006-07-26 10:40:17 · answer #2 · answered by Lanie Janie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Although it seems like a very economical and practical solution to give her the current ring, I would advise against it. When you buy a ring, you should have that person in mind. Giving her a ring that you bought with someone else in mind, takes away the significance of that ring. Imagine what she would think if she found out (& it's always possible). Even if it's just a ring to you, to her the ring symbolizes your love for her and the promise that you will soon be together in marriage.
What I would suggest is to sell the current ring and buy a new one. Even if the design is the exact same one! It will save you the grief of having to explain yourself later when she finds out that you gave her your ex's ring.
2006-07-26 10:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by Pumpkin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would give it to her only after having it reset like you said. Because Your placing the diamond in a DIFFERENT RING so only the diamond would be the same and since you never gave your ex the ring it was never hers and I'm sure you soon to be fiance would love it because it came from you then you could say you had it especially made for her which wouldn't be a lie because you did., BUT don't EVER tell her that the diamond was from another ring that was for your ex let her believe it was bought just for her. A little white lie wont hurt
2006-07-26 10:41:09 · answer #4 · answered by Ariali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't tell her, that you bought the ring for another woman, then she won't be upset.
But women are funny creatures, men wouldn't give a hoot, as long as the ring was a great one. But ladies hate to think, that what they are getting is second hand, even though it's not.
Just ask her, tell her the story, and show her the ring, and tell her, about getting it reset. If she loves, it, then all is well, if she doesn't, then trade the ring in, for a new one.
You two are starting on a new life together, so make it all new and on the right foot.
2006-07-26 10:38:32 · answer #5 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! Every time you look at that ring, you'll think of your former girlfriend, and if your current girl finds out, she will be horribly upset with you. She'll probably also get the feeling that she wasn't good enough to warrant purchasing a second ring, or that you wanted to hold on to a piece of your ex (which is a big no-no). Sell that ring and buy her something else.
2006-07-26 10:40:01 · answer #6 · answered by Not Allie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way definitely don't do that, you would have to lie to her that you bought that ring for her. If you give it to her you'll be feeling guilty for the rest of your life! By her a new ring if you really care about her, cause that's like giving her the rock with no meaning of it being for her. You will feel much better if you get her a new ring, and don't get her a diamond get her something interesting like give her her birth stone, diamonds are so old fashioned and plain! Sell the old ring on eBay! hope you know what you are doing good luck I hope it turns out good!
2006-07-26 10:42:20 · answer #7 · answered by rebeandphantom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't. Ask yourself how she would feel if she found out you gave her the ring you bought for your ex. If she would be upset (I would) then don't do it. You could always sell the ring you have and get her another one with the money. That would save a little cash. Put a lot of thought into it and get her something unique that really matches her personality. Something you know she would like and that is only for HER! Not something you got for someone else. After all, this woman is going to be your WIFE!
2006-07-26 10:40:59 · answer #8 · answered by Leigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, NO NO, bad idea. Somehow, someway it will come back bite you in the @$$. Figure out a way to get some money for it: sell it back, pawn it, sell it to another jewelry store, and go fresh and just get another one. Believe me she wouldn't mind if you spent 5 cents on her ring, (keep in mind that money is not the relationship, and don't let it be an issue, then she will think she wasn't worth it blah blah blah), as long as you don't give her the ring of your former girlfriend, who clearly screwed you over. Even if you plan on not telling her, eventually it will come out, and she will be offended. Save yourself the fight in advance and make the moment beautiful when you propose, without any guilt in your mind, and have a ring on your beautiful fiances' hand that doesn't have any remembrance of another women. Good Luck, and congrats!
2006-07-26 10:43:41 · answer #9 · answered by candycane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can easily give your current gf the ring because your ex has never seen the ring or even knew about it. BUT whatever you do, NEVER tell your current gf that you actually bought this ring for your ex. Never let your mother tell her. Not even as a funny story when you are married for 25 years.... For women are funny that way, she will never appreciate it, no matter how much sense it makes not to waste a ring and how beautiful it is. Just keep this to yourself and let her enjoy the ring. Good luck!
2006-07-26 10:36:57 · answer #10 · answered by Kathy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not a good idea or fair. She's a different person, and every time you look at this ring, you would know the situation, and she won't but if ever found out, and anything is possible would never forgive you. You mentioned resetting the stone, just get an exchange for the present g/f because she deserves it if you think she's worth it (you want to marry her).
2006-07-26 10:58:45 · answer #11 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋