Been divorced 15 years. Two grown children. Sex was always great. I have not been in a serious relationship since divorce. I am lonely. I want to remarry but maybe I would be settle if I stick this out.
2006-07-26 10:21:57 · 80 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your LOnely and that makes you very vulnerable!It sounds like you really love the guy, you werent waiting for him to come back all those years? It's not going to be different and if he's married and "seeing" you, he's a cheat! He'll do it again ! If you have to, get away from him!Think about making a move in opposite directions! Make today the "first" day of the rest of your life, shake hands and say, goodbye! There's plenty of singles guys out there that could make you happy and you them, don't waste any more of your time with this guy! It's time for a change! Start by taking care of you , new face,{well maybe not the face! lol} new hair new clothes , inside out , it works wonders! It'll make you feel good about yourself and that's probably what you need right now. Get out and meet "new" people.Don't be "lonley" anymore, you don't have to! Best wishes !
2006-07-26 10:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by noditz57 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
If you take him back, you might not be lonely for awhile...BUT will you be able to handle it if you have to become lonely again at a later time? Also, is he married right now? If he is, why is he doing this after 15 yrs? I would be pretty frightened just for the fact of how he is handling someone who has been with him for 15 yrs and he is deciding to change his mind. If all you want is companionship,sex and a secure & committed relationship doesn't play much into the picture, then that is up to you. If these grown children are his, how are his children going to feel? Why didn't Dad want to be there while we were growing up? Myself, I wouldn't settle, as there is a reason you divorced and now he wants to come back????.....this is your choice, but for you to ask only means you have alot of doubt to start with and would be majorly questioning his intentions. Plus, if he is serious about leaving his wife.....he will do just that......without you. I would never trust a man that wanted to be with me while he was in a relationship with someone else. If he is still doing this, this is who he is. You will always wonder in the back of your mind (if you get together with him) when it's your turn.
2006-07-26 10:46:03 · answer #2 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm hard to say. 15 years is a long time. The question you need to ask yourself is what has he done to grow or change? So this is what I would do especially since it sounds you're considering it, have lunch with him...NOT dinner. (smiles) And talk to him and find out what he has been doing, how things have been going, and so forth. Have a few lunch dates if you need too. Don't tell him you're sizing him up...but simply state you want to talk and chat. If feels right and he is convincing you of change...then why not try dating again before you remarry.
However, you may find, he is nothing what you wanted, to make matters worse he has changed for the worse. I am sure he will be on his best performance which is why several lunch dates should be consider. Go with your gut and leave the man alone.
Make sure during your conversations you let him know where you are and sorta throw in some of your limits and so forth. Because you don't want to end up divorcing again over the same or something even worse. Remember divorce rate is higher during 2nd marriages not always. So do you thing and be the intelligent woman you are.
Interview your man before you hire him again.
Good Luck
K
2006-07-26 10:31:14 · answer #3 · answered by kaiynasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should think of the time that you guys have been divorced an the reason for the divorced. How have you been doing without him? If you have been divorced for over a year an doing great without him in your life then I think that your strong enough to forget being or getting back with him. But you also said that your children are grown. Have you talked to them about it? If not then you should an see what they have to say about all of this but I also want you to follow your heart.
2006-07-26 10:30:13 · answer #4 · answered by leihuaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN AWAY.
You are telling us that this guy married you, left, married someone else, and is now leaving her? And he wants you again? Seriously, this man will get back with you and leave again. Dont you see that it is his pattern? He stays until settled, and once a woman lets her guard down he leaves again.
I know a couple that did this. They got divorced, married others, divorced those people, and remarried each other. And you know what happened? THEY DIVORCED AGAIN.
I know it is hard to be alone. But it is for the best. Dont waste these years with something that is destined to fail. He is your "ex" for a reason!
2006-07-26 10:31:44 · answer #5 · answered by olayak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would be settle? Doesn't sound like that's what you really want. You would only be settling for your ex. Dear, they are usually ex's for a reason. Remind yourself why and really evaluate if you really want him back. And for the record, waiting for a guy to decide to leave his wife for you (even if you are the ex) is never a good idea. You have a life you could be living, guys you could be meeting, dates you could be having, but you would be waiting. Don't do it. Live your life. Go out and meet people. Don't worry about a serious relationship. If you're really ready, the right guy will find you. And, after you've lived a little, he leaves her and still wants you and you find yourself wanting him back, then take him back. But don't wait. There are too many fish in the sea to sit in the same place waiting for one that might not be the right one after all.
Good luck.
2006-07-26 10:27:05 · answer #6 · answered by Lanie Janie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to go backward with a guy? You've gone through most everything that's still there and it's not that much change in life. Depending on the state you are in, you may want to test the water if you still had preservation's when you let go of the marriage, but don't remarry him until you've made sure he's not going to do a re-run of the past.
2006-07-26 10:36:14 · answer #7 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight. You're divorced from someone you obviously could not live with. He's remarried. It's been years. He wants you again.
Why are you even contemplating having a relationship with him? He sounds very immature to be pestering you when he has a wife at home. Get rid of him!!! If you're lonely, get a dog!
2006-07-26 10:25:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He remarried without giving you a second thought... tell him to f*ck off then rip off his head and sh*t down his neck. I have an ex and no tolerance for them. Divorce is just that... ya get out of a relationship.. the ex then is no longer your concern. However, if you still love him.. well.. stay strong and HATE him.. he got himself another woman.. to marry another person.. well isn't that saying that he found someone that was better?.. so therefore, he basically just slapped you in the face. Tell him to piss off. You will find the right one even if it take a long time.. he's out there somewhere waiting for you... go find him : )
2006-07-26 10:36:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all remember why your marriage did not work out to begin with. Second he is remarried now and wants to cheat on her with you. That's not saying much for you. I think that you are the one who will get hurt in the end. You probably would be happier if you found someone else to have a relationship with.
2006-07-26 10:27:45 · answer #10 · answered by jolees56 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋