how do i convince my husband to have a 2nd child without trickig him?

Question

its all i think about day and night and i dont know what to do.
Do i stay with him even if he dose not want a 2nd child.

Answer 1

Tell him that Hitler was an only child.

Answer 2

Don't ever trick him. That is so dishonest. You want a happy, honest relationship, even if you don't get everything you want, right? How would you like him to trick you? Pissed, huh?
Do not try to convince your husband. Talk it over, tell him how you feel. He needs to know that you are thinking of trading him in for your obsession to continue breeding. Go to marriage counseling while you still care for your husband, to figure out how to negotiate something you both have strong feelings about. Children are a decision you should make BEFORE you get married, and then stick to it.
It sounds to me like your child is getting past the cute baby stage, and you are thinking about what you are going to do with the rest of your life, once your child is not a 24/7 job.
Only children turn out just fine, and you can have selfish kids and have 9. I had an only child for 10 years, and intended to keep it that way. I got pregnant with a man who had a vasectomy, and my sons are 10 years apart. They are as different as night and day. They were friends as children, and now have little in common.
Examine why you feel obsessed with this idea. If it is all you think about, you need to get a hobby or spend more time with your child/husband. Get a job, go to a class, volunteer. Obsessions are usually about control over your life. Control your own life,not his. Leave the poor man alone.

Answer 3

You are married so communicate with him.

Sit down one night after a nice meal with a glass of wine and start the conversation with "do you remember when first child did a b c etc"
Then tell him that you would really like another one and that it is important to you and the reasons why it is important to you.

If he doesn't want a second one - why not?
And if that is the only thing that would make you leave your childs father it isn't a good enough reason, you are still in love you have a child together why leave for that?

Good luck, I hope you get it resolved so you BOTH are happy.

Answer 4

Okay people, she already said she didn't want to trick him.

It's a pretty hard situation. You may just have to wait. I mean, unless he's pushing to get one of you sterilized, it may just be that he's not ready yet. Try giving him a little time. My husband wouldn't even talk about when for a second kid because he wasn't ready for one. Ask him why he doesn't want a second child and try going from there. It could be any reason: fear, finances, wanting to see how this one will grow up... My husband does not want a third child because our first is turning out to be such a handful and he's expecting the same of our second (I'm 6 months along). He wanted to wait a little longer before I got pregnant too to try and get a better job. Things didn't turn out as we planned, but I did push him before this one to find out why he didn't want one yet, and this time, why he wanted to stop at two children. It just takes communication on both your parts. And maybe a little talk will change his mind. If he refuses to talk about it, then bring up that a marriage cannot stand without communication and reassure him that just talking about something like this isn't that big of a deal. My husband, originally, wouldn't talk about it because he didn't like serious conversations. Men seem to avoid talking for a variety of reasons, but let him know that this is a conversation you feel you need to have with him. Prod him a little every few days, gently of course, but become more insistant if he simply refuses to talk about his concerns.

Answer 5

What did you agree to prior to marriage?

It HAS to be a joint decision. Period. Don't be selfish, or overlook the needs of your first child by leaving the father of your child.

Make it less of a verbal issue, and let your first child have some friends over, so your husband can see how much fun they have.

Try, but don't push or make it a deal breaker for the marriage--you already have a family.

There is no compromise when it comes to the decision to have (or not have) a child.

Answer 6

If you trick your husband, he's only going to resent you and detest your presence if you get pregnant again. It's a mutual decision. Have you asked him WHY he doesn't want another child? He may have very good reasons, and you should respect that he does not want a second child and his reasons. His opinion may change in a few years. Or it may not. Be glad you have one child, some of us will never have any of our own at all.

Answer 7

He will come round eventually. Don't trick him, the consequences could be disasterous for your relationship and don't leave him. He has done nothing wrong. Find out why he is reluctant to have a second child. It could be for many many reasons. Financial, the stresses and strains on your relationship with him, lack of sleep, there may be many resons why. Don't make any decisions until you know all of his reasons. When you know them, weigh them against your desire to have a second child and remember - its not all about what you want.

Answer 8

If he does not want a second child then it would not be fair on the child or your husband if you forced him to make you pregnant.
You need to find out why he does not want another child & if he really is set on not having more then you have to decide what is more important to you your husband & family life you have now or another baby

Answer 9

Sit down and have an honest talk with him. Do your best to avoid accusations or saying hurtful things. Lay out for him exactly why you want to have a second child, and let him do the same for why he doesn't. Listen carefully to him, and keep in mind that his opinions are just as valid as yours -- and vice versa.

In the end, if you still can't come to an agreement, you might want to consider counseling.

Answer 10

I had this problem with my hub, i wanted a 3rd and he didn't. we only have 2 and although over the years i have been depressed about it i have always got over it. I have health issues that would have meant that a 3rd could be dangerous but that does not take the wanting away. [it does now, hes had the snip!!]
he may come round after a while. do not dwell on it. do not nag him about it or that will may him more determined to keep saying no.
The wanting will ease with time. concentrate on the child that you have and enjoy the time you spend together.

Answer 11

If he doesn't know how much you want a 2nd child and you do trick him (which may or may not prove successful) he may actually be relieved that he hasn't had to make an impossible decision.

However, If you did try trickery and couldn't conceive, what would you do then?

TALK TO THE MAN!