why are me and my hubby always fighting?

Question

because he soesn't trust me and also he says its over he doesn't care about me anymore an i'm not his problem

Answer 1

Probably because you can't agree to disagree?!

Answer 2

You haven't provided much i nformation, but I'll answer this with what you gave me.

Lack of communication is the sole reason on arguements. Be direct, get to the point, but also try to understand and put yourself in the other party's shoes.

Watching relationships deteriorate made me question the core reason to why relationships fail. Whether it be fighting about finances, sex, feelings, respect etc, the answer usually results in a lack of communication and understanding from both parties.

Scenerio:

The man (or woman) spends all of the money. The partner yells at them as a form of punishment. Partner #1 defends themselves. It spirals into a huge arguement.

Solution: Instead of yelling, try to understand why Partner #1 is spending all the money. Maybe they never received much as a child and as a result they're splurging uncontrollably. Calmly suggest a budget plan and make room for spending for Partner #1. Partner #2 can try to understand the economics of finance and how it works instead of spending money because they are uneducated or unaware of personal finances.

This is just an example of an arguement. Perhaps, this isn't exactly the same arguement you've had with your husband. However, keep in mind that it's all about communication, learning, understanding, and finding a solution together.

Remember, what you hear him say may not always be what he actually meant, and vice versa.

A husband and wife partnership works together like team. Have all the awareness and knowledge on how to win the game.

If fights continue, counseling helps. Sometimes a third party is needed to clarify and strengthen communication.

You may come out of all this knowing more about yourself, your partner, and your relationship than you knew in the first place.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

I don't know why are you? Of course, if you are fighting about topics (the laundary or some other stupid thing) you are fighting just to fight and continue to do so because you aren't really dealing with whatever the real problem is. Its the cheesecake with cherries theory, the topics you fight about are just the cherries, the real goodies are underneath them in the cheesecake, until you get to the cheesecake it will stay this way. Also you need to figure out what the pay off is. People do NOT do things without a payoff (even if its a little whacky). So what are you really getting out of the arguments, what is he? What is it that you are really mad about? Arguing can be like a snowball, it just gathers steam and everything around it gets stuck to it and it grows and grows. Someone needs to reset their attitude and just say wow this is ridiculous and not getting us anywhere, how about we stop it and try to figure out whats really going on by having a conversation. Good luck.

Answer 4

Honey, I uderstand your problem very well

the reasons u two fight a lot could be

Because both of your are too emotional and sentsitive. You do care about each other and thats y it hurts to fight

Both of you do not want to compromise and want things to go thier way! Due to being stubborn or being EGOISTIC

Remember sometimes you have to compromise and sometimes he has to...its should be 50-50. Talk to him about this...next time you compromise and agree and do what he likes point it out and ...let him know its his turn to do what you say the next time...believe me it works. You get into this habbit and it creates a balance...nobody feels deprived.

And in the meantime learn to love him and shower him with lots of affection. Men change a lot when you show them much affection and attention. They can go to any extent of even "Selfless Love" towards you if you show them lot of understanding love and aupport. Partly its in your hands to create a balance and harmony.

TAKE AN OATH NOT TO FIGHT...both of you. And stick to it...DO NOT TAKE SMALL THINGS TOO SEIRIOUSLY AND NAG...and do not be mad for very long time...remember 50-50 rule... BOTH u and ur husband should follow this....

And one more thing "IDLE MIND IS A DEVILS WORKSHOP". keep yourself very active...you bet you will stop fighting. Cos there are larger issues in life which need attention than just your fights.

ALL the best...hope you will have a happy married life with all the harmony.

Answer 5

Let us see how I do at your extremely vague question. Does this sound familiar... You lack the belief that you and your husband unconditionally love each other. The world has changed for the worse when it comes to relationships. Women are filled with insecurities due to influences such as beautiful women found in magazines and the ones that cross our paths each day. Then we have the added stress to be successful in careers and motherhood. Many people look down at stay at home moms. That is just wrong. I am not saying that because I am one because I'm not.

Then we have the impact of society filling our minds with crap (or is it?). You know what I'm talking about: 1. Men cannot be faithful; 2. Men are visual beings and women are more in touch with emotions; 3. The Internet is filled with women and men who cheat and lie on the significant others; 4. Divorce is as easy as breaking up with your first crush; etc. The list goes on and on.

I guess what I am getting at is that it is hard to have faith in letting yourself go completely to the one you love allowing you to become vulnerable to having your heart ripped to shreds and stepped on. Ladies, gentlemen, we need to get past that. We need to learn to love unconditionally again and trust one another. We need to get back to basic morals and values that somehow got lost along the way. We are all scared and I truly believe the fear causes us to sabotage love life's before we could potentially get hurt. It is a lot easier to let go when you are pissed at one another. Well stop it and love the way you want and deserve to be loved back. Yes it is scary; however, with mutual respect and unconditional love (the way a mother or father loves their child) you will get back what you give out.

That's my take on it. If it applies great, if not, good luck. Try to look at the good in your hubby and stop focusing on the negatives. Accept him for what he is and maybe he'll start doing the same.

Answer 6

It probably has to do with stress...although it could be anything. I know it's frustrating - there have been times that I feel like I don't do anything BUT argue with my husband. But in the end I know that's just the frustration talking. We are usually able to work things out quickly and we really don't fight that much.

If you think it through and realize that you really do fight more than not, maybe you could consider counseling. I know that it helps a lot of people to learn how to communicate with each other more productively.

I hope things get better!

Answer 7

My husband and I tend to argue more when we aren't communicating or if there are a lot of stress in our lives. Once we talk about things it usually gets better again. If you don't take the time to talk or care about the other person or resolve some of the issues you will never stop fighting about those things.

Answer 8

Because you both always think you are right and not being flexible. Be flexible, smile, and compromise then you will stop fighting. Most of the fighting is over silly things anyways. Just realize you need to start having fun marriage again and do it

Answer 9

Either because of Money problems, Sex problems, or just basic immaturity on each of your parts. Or it could be over the kids.

There are a myriad of reasons, but, to get a hold of it, either start going to Church, and get a good foundation in the LORD, or, go and get some councelling so the kids dont have to hear you fight all the time!

I wish you well..

Jesse

Answer 10

Well there may be many reasons, financial, lying the list can go on forever. Maybe you're not spending quality time with one another. Maybe you two need to rekindle the fire and get away for a weekend. Hope this helps.

Answer 11

you have to have a life outside your marriage like some time apart ot be able to spend time with other people like your friends and family. Shouldnt around each other 24/7