We married for about 1.5 years (my first, her second) and are just now finalizing the divorce. We knew each other for almost 2 years before getting married. The marriage was a disaster with a lot of fighting.
Anyway, one of my goals in life has been to find happiness with the right woman and have kids of my own. Now, I find my dreams shattered and am not sure that a woman (who could have more children) would be attracted to a 40 y/o male. I have some good qualities including a decent job and a house. I would also be happy being a step-dad, but really want one or two kids of my own with the right person. Is there hope?
PS - No mail-order bride suggestions please!! That's not for me.
2006-07-26 09:44:12 · 11 answers · asked by brad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, there is hope. Just take things slowly and not rush because there's someone for everybody if they know when to make a step toward claiming them. When the time is right for you it's not going to leave until it's taken by you if it's meant to be. There are several females looking for a stable male who knows what he wants in life and has gotten past the running around.
2006-07-26 09:52:05 · answer #1 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it happened for both my Dad and my uncle (& my mom). My parents divorced when I was 5 (my brother was 2). My mom was 29 and my dad was 34. When I was 14, my dad remarried at 42 and they had twins. A year later, my mom remarried and had my little brother at 39. My uncle got married at 29 and divorced a few years later. He remarried at 37 to a woman his same age who already had 2 teenaged daughters and did not plan to have any more children, despite his own wishes for a child. A year later, they had a daughter of their own.
So you see, it's entirely possible! You're lucky that you're a male because a woman at your age has less of a chance of getting married and successfully having children (although not impossible). I just think that it's important for you to remember what you want when you start to date again. Don't settle. If you find out early on in a relationship that the person is not interested in marriage or children, don't stay in the relationship. If you do, you may never find the right person who wants everything that you want.
I'm sorry for your divorce, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. Take what you've learned from this marriage and apply it to your future relationships. Hopefully, you won't have to look too far. Best wishes to you and good luck.
2006-07-26 10:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by Pumpkin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am in the same boat,i am seperating from my husband and moving to my own place,i also think were i am in my 40's .would i find love again? ,but you know i realized hey dont rush it, and you will find some one.( if you want kids of your own then maybe a younger female will be better) but if you want some one that already has all that then you need to find some one around your age that has kids.if what you really want is love,then it wont matter if the other person has kids,i try to always think positive.and know that there is always someone out there for me.its better to date first instead of rushing to the first one that comes along,and then your right back were you started from? getting another divorce? well hope you find your true love and happiness. good luck.
2006-07-26 10:11:01 · answer #3 · answered by arizonagirl05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have a better chance than a 40 year old woman has. Because you are still young enough to have children. You could always go younger and just a little older. You will have no problem finding someone. Have you tried the on line dating services. Try eharmony.com, they are always bragging how they make the perfect matches. So go ahead and give it a try. Good luck.
2006-07-26 10:06:35 · answer #4 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! So yourlife sucks...you are NOT DEAD!!!! If this is the life you want then nothing should stop you from going out and getting it! Being indecisive and miserable solves nothing! take an active role in the outcome of your own life...no one else is gonna do it for you! If you want these things then go find them! Patience is a virtue but it can be done!!!!!! Go go go!!!!! Still here????? Get your butt out there and find that right person! She ain't getting any younger and neither are you! Sorry but reality stinks! Gotta work with what you got! Good luck! Happy hunting!
2006-07-26 10:20:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course there is!!! 40 is not old at all.You will find the right person. Join a gym, get in shape, take up a new hobby. You will find her. By the way, I am 30, and my bf is 44, so it is definitely possible for you to find someone who is attracted to a 40 year old and also young enough to have children!
2006-07-26 10:04:15 · answer #6 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had one dump me after 24 years of marriage and two essentially grown children. She moved in with another guy, THEN filed for divorce, married the guy, etc., etc.
I was 45 when that process began. Seven months after the divorce was final I met an amazing 30-year-old woman online. We have been married for three years, and now that she has her bachelor's degree (and a lucrative job) we are hoping to have children of our own.
So yes, it can happen.
2006-07-26 09:53:25 · answer #7 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the right woman is out there you just need to find her and dont knock internet dating that is where i met my wife and we have 2 kids together and 1 am 43 years old if you truely want to be happy you will do what it takes
2006-07-26 09:52:55 · answer #8 · answered by firefightingexpert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah just have to find someone younger that's all. My husband was 52 when he met me and i was 29. I would have loved more children than the one i had but he didn't. so yes it can happen, good luck and hope you find that special someone.
2006-07-26 10:02:33 · answer #9 · answered by just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you were a woman i would say that you were too old to have kids of your own. but men have an easier job of it. go ahead and live your dreams and enjoy life no matter what your age is
2006-07-26 09:48:39 · answer #10 · answered by notyours 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋