Shouldn't we relook at the "shoulds" first?

Question

Whenever faced with a crisis, you might keep thinking "I should do this or shouldn't" hundreds of times and reaching nowhere. And if you examined the very basis of those "shoulds", you might realize how hollow it was all together. Many of the dictates that you get governed by (without realizing it's happening) are actually words either from your family or the society that you have been part of. Everyone out there is flawed like us.....but, we have to continue arguing "should I do or shouldn't" blindfolded like everyone else does.

Shouldn't we try to reexamine therefore the "shoulds" in our lives first?
(In my opinion, they are the genesis of many a problems that we have individually)

Answer 1

I think we "should!"
It's the should and should not's that really get in the way of creative non-thinking response. I think many times that the shoulds and shouldn'ts are worse than the crisis itself. Like you stated: we're basically governed by what we're told, how to think, what to do, what not to do. It's no wonder all inner trust and right action is totally forgotten. We're so afraid of making a mistake and "failing" in our decision, when mistakes are actually how we learn and grow. And it's not really a mistake if something is learned from the experience. This is all unnecessary pressure.

I think the mind is an amazing instrument and a great tool but it should only be used for certain necessart and practical things. The mind can never touch the heart's wisdom.

I believe we inherently know what to do and the right response comes when these shoulds n should nots are examined and left behind. We can then respond from our all of our being(right action).

Answer 2

Well that's one way of thinking about problem solving.

Sure, in trying to be optimistic it would be preferrable to look at what's induced as neccessary whether dealing with conformity or not. Should I or shouldn't I match my clothes when I get dressed in the morning for work? Should I or shouldn't I take the highway driving to work? The "should" sides are implying that I would do what IS most proven as the most effective and efficient techniques as used by society (matching looks more professional and catches the eye; taking the highway optimizes my cars fuel efficiency while minimizing wear and tear on the roads).

But what if problem solving wasn't so critical? I'm agreeing with how most people don't recognize all the intricacies of decision making. After all, if we over-analyze things and don't develop habits, we're all the more likely to go paranoid and digress (and there's only so much that can be and to be understood anyway).

Rather than thinking about should's and should not's, how about thinking about can's and cannot's? More so, how about thinking about do well's and not do well's (or even not even thinking about the "not do well's")? Why not just streamline the process so all that's thought about is what's evident TO work well and not WHY it work's well?

Practition and comprehension are two different techniques (or levels, if you're a cynic) of understanding of a concept. Just because one can or needs to do one doesn't mean one can or needs to do the other in any given instance. Soccer players don't fret over every mistake they make in a match. Sure, they remember the big opportunities they miss just as much as the spectators (like the PK the French rookie missed in the World Cup final after being put on the spot by Zidane) but the best ones keep going and going until the end leaving analysis to the sportscasters and audiance and coaches. Yes, they learn as they play and recognize tendencies, but they don't change their whole technique and collapse just because one thing or detail is out of sync.

Often, we view problems from a macroscopic view of "should's" and "should not's" when we're overwhelmed or afraid of confrontation. To make them easier, yes we COULD look at the should's, but we DO look at the "can's."

Answer 3

We will do what we will do. Morality is a work in progress. Ethics change with the times. The trick is in realizing the right and wrong and should have and shouldn't have ar not the same thing. When you realize that, you will begin to see that you have more control over who you are than ever before. And, the genesis of our problems as you state them we are not alone in our decisions. It is not a question of should so much as a question of may or can.

Answer 4

I hate the words should and could. They seem to be words of blame and self doubt. I agree that we should examine the basis of our decision making and adjust it as needed for as we grow, we change. To go on doing the same things and expecting changes to happen is a good definition of insanity.

We are the sum total of everything we have learned, felt, seen experienced and all of the people we have know.or told about. Everything in our life has lead us to where we are today. If you are not happy, then you must change some things in your life. One small change inward can make a vast difference outward.

Answer 5

Our post-modern society will always struggle with this, because of the pervasive relativism that poisons their thinking. I exclude myself, because I reject post-modern philosophy of Foucalt, Derrida, Rorty and Strawson. When one states one "should" you leave open the proposition as to whether it is to be accepted or not. This where the confusion comes in, its similar to Sartre's idea of developing essence. If I see an old lady crossing a street, I have a choice as to whether to run her down, or get out and help her across the street, which "should" I do. Well, according to Sartre either is acceptable because you are developing your essence. So when we are having tea together, and I want to develop my essence, instead of pouring the hot water into your cup, I'll pour on your head. But you say, I should not, I ask, WHY NOT?

Answer 6

nobody really asks themselves if they should, its just alot of could i or am i able to. i say this like against the law kinds of things. but just normal things i ask myself should i go do this or do it later then if i dont do it, i regret it and think i shouldve done that earlier.

Answer 7

yes i agree with u. relooking shoulds helps us to prevent hurting others by our actions.

Answer 8

I would first want to answer all the "coulds" first.

If there is a "could" I can not answer than I will look at "should"

Answer 9

i have often seen friends trapped in the SHOULDS.

Some of them could break through it with help - some can't.

Answer 10

If you do not should on me, i will not should on you!