How can I make him know its not personal.?

Question

Im a married 23 yr old girl I love my husband and we have a great relationship and I cant ask for more hes great. I only have one problem there are night that he wants to have sex and I dont feel like doing nothing I can some times be 3-4 days with not wanting to do nothing i just dont feel horny but i love him and he tells me come on baby but i just dont want to is that normal or not?

Answer 1

This is normal. Sexual drive comes and goes. You could maybe try and have him encourage your drive by having a romantic evening first - instead of just going at it.

Answer 2

Yes its perfectly normal. Sex drive fluctuates. The problem is that your man is asking you to do it anyway when you have already stated that you aren't interested. That is a problem and it shouldn't happen. He should have enough respect for you that he doesn't try to pressure you in to doing something you don't want to do and you should let him know that if he continues to behave that way all he will get for it is even less sex from you because you will feel even less like doing it. How would he feel if you were trying to push him to do something he didnt want to do? Sometimes men aren't very good at understanding things like this so you need to give him a taste of his own medicine, for example if there is a food you know he doesn't like (yogurt or cottage cheese, whatever) get some and bug him, say come on baby just try it, when he says no say why don't you love me? Then stop and say see thats what it feels like when you try to get me to have sex when its not what I want, then he'll understand that he's creating a problem where there really isn't one. Also, tell him to ask his married buddies how often the get laid or post the question for married men here and show him the results. Good luck!

Answer 3

Pretty typically normal. Women don't hit their "sexual peak" till their 30's, but men peak in their early 20's... hence his urge to do it all the time.

While I don't advocate doing it when you don't want to, you should try to be more accommodating, and you should also be forthright and tell him you're not ALWAYS interested.

Why don't you offer a handjob or a BJ if you're not into sex that night? Try it a different time of day. Try watching a porn movie with him (women get turned on visually too, you know!).

Bottom line, there are VERY few marriages that have COMPLETELY sexually compatible partners. One will ALWAYS want sex more often. He needs to learn that no means no, and you need to learn alternatives to saying no too often. When all else fails, maybe some marital counseling might help you guys come to a happy medium.

Answer 4

Of course it's normal!
Everybody is different, too.
Some poeple need it once a day,
some like it once a week,
heck even some only want it once a month!
So it just depends on the person.
I myself need physical intimacy AT LEAST every other day.
Otherwise I go crazy!
Sometimes he's not in the mood and I'll jump on him anyways.
Other times, I'm not in the mood because
I'm tired or upset or sad or SOMETHING
but I never say no to him.
I don't want to give him any reason to go elsewhere
for something that I can give him!
Besides, once he starts kissing me and flirting a little,
I slowly get in the mood, too.
The more you do it, the more you want it.
So if you stop saying no and making excuses
(even if they are true),
you will reap bountiful rewards!

Answer 5

Yea it's normal. Just cos your married doesn't mean you're identical. It just means you love and respect each other enough to commit to the relationship. Let him know it's not him that it's you; you're just not in the mood as much as he is. Maybe suggest ways you all can "make love" without having sex. You know, like a massage, foot rub, feeding each other a delicious dessert, a quiet walk hand-in-hand, etc. Sex is just one way of expressing love; the emotion goes way deeper and can be satisfied in a million little ways. And chances are, if you're like most of us women, as you get more emotionally connected the physical will follow and you'll be hitting him up for it more than he does you now. :-)

Answer 6

Yes it's normal.

It's also normal for him to get mad, hurt, or have an affair because of it. Sex is part of marriage. He wouldn't have married you if he knew you were going to be frigid all his life.

I think saying no every now and then is okay, but it really is your duty to f#$k him.

Make a compromise. How about when he is in the mood, and you are not...tell him he can just have a quickie. SURELY you can get on your knees and let him do you from behind or something fast. 10 minutes out of your night isn't going to kill you.

Answer 7

I think that it is perfectly normal but, you cannot get upset with ur husband for disagreeing with ur decisions, I mean 3-4 times that's not wanting to have sex that is alot 2 be married. Are you not sexually attracted to your spouse or are you having a affair or something.Not to be mean or too much in your bizness but it is kinda funny hone?.

Answer 8

A lot of times I feel the same way and I am about your age. My husband and I went to the gyno and found out that my hormones were out of wack. Maybe if you are on birth control pills or other meds they are affecting you. You can ask your dr for other types of BC pills. Don't be afraid to tell your doctor about this, they will understand.

Answer 9

Maybe you should consult a doctor and get some Hormone medication for low sex drive. Low sex drive is common especially after women give birth.

Answer 10

You are normal. Just tell him the truth. If he loves you he will understand. I would also talk to him about how many times in one week would be acceptable and compromise.