what should i do? husband co worker flirts?

Question

me and my husband met through working together. There's this girl that works there and before we got together he said he had a "thing" for her. Well that doesn't feel good but what makes it worse is that now that i don't work there she is saying comments to him. For example "thats not what you were saying last night in my bed" or telling the other coworkers they'll (my husband and her) will be right back becuz theyre going to have sex. and one time when i went into eat there (he works as a resturant manager) i over heard her saying "did you tell her yet? that you're leaving her for me?" i know she's kidding and he's joking around and i talked to him about it but he said i shouldn't worry and he tells her all the time that me and him are together! WHAT SHOULD I DO? WHAT SHOULD I TELL HIM OR HER.?? please help i hate crying over this! thanks <33

i know! i told him to tell her he is her BOSS and she should NOT be talking to her boss that way! but he doesn't say that he just tells her he's with me

Answer 1

Tell him that you are not comfortable with the situation between the two of them If he does not know how deeply this is affecting you then he will not realize that it needs to change. If he truely cares about you and the relationship then he will put a stop to it. HE needs to deal with her...NOT YOU!! But he needs to know that something NEEDS to be delbt with! He needs to be made aware of the fact that this is a real problem if you expect anything to be done about it. He needs to be the one to decide the value of acting on it. If it and you matter to him then he will do something about it...if not....then I guess you have your answer and already know what you need to decide for you! Hope this helps! Reality can be so cruel when the heart is involved. Sorry honey but do what you gotta do but do NOT let this go! Your heart is too important! So is your sanity!

Answer 2

I think those comments are pretty inappropriate. You can still have a fun flirty NON-threatening friendship with someone without going to the "you're leaving her for me" comment. That is out of control.

Definitely voice your thoughts!

Don't be accusatory...just be calm, and tell him in a very nice way.

Say "Hey...I trust you 100%, but the sexual comments with coworker are getting a little inappropriate. Do you mind toning it down some?"

See what he says...if he loves you, I have no doubt that he will abide. :-)

The same thing to this coworker might not be a bad thing either. Don't be mean...or start tension, just say "I'd appreciate it if you toned down your sexual comments with my husband....do you think you can do that for me?"

Answer 3

Point blank - Tell him and her to stop with the jokes or they might be sorry. Kidding or not it does not help your relationship. I would tell your husband that it does not look professional to the other coworkers when things like that are said - she or other coworkers could press sexual harassment charges against him and or her and that is no joke. I wish you the best of luck

Answer 4

Tell your husband to grow some balls and stop his behavior before he loses you. Sure, we all like to flirt and have fun, but when that behavior starts to hurt our marriage, then it is time to stop it. Considering he is the manager there, he is also running a risk of sexual harassment that I'm sure his bosses wouldn't be happy about. He needs to see that what he is doing is a bad situation for your marriage as well as his career. If he isn't willing to stop this type of behavior simply because you ask him to then he isn't much of a husband and doesn't deserve you.

Answer 5

My first piece of advice is to not whine about it. Be secure with yourself. He married you and he is still with you. You need to show him that you are confident in your relationship with him. After you are confident and secure, let him know that you are uncomfortable with her comments. You feel it makes him look like a cheater and you look weak. And if it is making you uncomfortable, it is probably making those who hear those comments uncomfortable as well.

Just most of all, sound confident. It will make your point seem a logical one and not one based on jealousy or emotion. He'll respect that.

Answer 6

Confront her. He's your territory and "harmless" or not, she's got intentions. If she wore him down then she'd go for it, and so long as he keeps putting her off shes just "joking". Go to her and tell her you don't care if she's joking or not, she needs to stop. He's your husband and not some office play thing. Tell her its disrespectful to you for her to talk to him that way and if it continues action will be taken. (you'll either kick her *** or get her fired.)

Answer 7

Catch her leaving work one night and beat her with a baseball bat. JUST KIDDING! He could stop this if he really wanted to. And therein lies your problem.

Tell your husband you want it to stop. How would he feel if some jerk were making comments like that to you? He would want to pulverize that guy, I bet. Put it to him like that. They are both being horribly disrespectful to you. Don't put up with that. If worst comes to worst, and he won't say anything, you may have to confront her.

Answer 8

Your husband is the problem. He should not be talking like that to her. She is also a problem. Either he or she should stop it. If not, your problem is very real and will not end. You need to stop being friendly to her and your husband need to stop talking to her other than regarding work.

Answer 9

Ask him flatly what is more important, your feelings or playful banter with a co-worker. It is that simple. If it makes you uncomfortable and he persists, he is prioritizing that behaviour over you which is a bad precedent in any relationship.

Answer 10

sounds like bad news to me..I would be Pissed! And it doesn't sound like this girl is going to stop flirting any time soon, either.