This is for married men....Do you ever have that urge to flirt with other woman or get bored with your wife.?

Question

If so, what can a married man do to curb that urge with flirting with other woman? And what can I do as a wife to keep him interested. I mean I take care of myself, my body, the house, the kids and still try to look good, but he says it's not me. He told me that I am the epitome of what a good wife should be, however, he has a problem. It's his ego. He admits that it's wrong, but he likes getting attention from other women. it's like he has "ADD" or something. It is ruining our marriage. I know he hasn't actually cheated on me, but he just loves having female friends. He has a contagious personality and is a smooth talker. I know these women are ga-ga over him. He's very short so I think he has a short man's complex, but I still try to boost his ego at opportunity that I can. I adore him and I know that he adores me, but he has a problem. help!!! this is really hurting our marriage because I don't trust him.

Answer 1

How can 3 million prostitutes , call girls, and hookers be wrong.

The worlds oldest profession is has been around for so long for a reason

Answer 2

It depends on man to man. Some men have the urge while others don't. Men realize that it is difficult and complicated to have an affair with another woman. Just look at yourself. You are not happy but worried while you "know he hasn't cheated". Similarly what assurance is there that the next woman will be happy with a married man? If he means what he compliments you then you have a safe and secure marriage.

EGO is one of the main problems in human relations. Female friends is no problem as long as he does not cheat. Many wives are insecure and worrying whether their men "really" love them. I don't know how to assure such insecurity. I think men should express their love much more than they do. Still are the women willing to trust and do they have emotional security?

What is the reason that you don't trust your husband? Just because he craves for attention from other women it does not mean he will cheat or that he does not love you.

I may be bored with my wife just as i realize she may also be bored at times. That is not enough incentive to step out of an emotionally secure marriage and invite stress and distress. You may allocate a weekend or some time every week to communicate with him as you used to do before the children arrived. Try to go on a vacation to some romantic place without the children. Your marriage needs some variety and nurturing. Romance may have taken the back seat.

Answer 3

No never! I feel like what ever urges I have toward women first dibs will always go to my wife therefore that urge has been satisfied. Married forks have to realize that's the foundation of a marriage, not going out to seek what u already have @ home. Two people becoming one, u being @ home taking care of the house,kids,not to mention yourself, for him to go out and flirt says he doesn't appreciate you are the foundation of ur marriage and family life. Speaking as a married man this is how I feel about the situation. Don't know what more u can r have to do keep him interested. Good luck!!!

Answer 4

Ok... so you say in this email that he has and ego problem, it is "like he has 'ADD' or something", and he has "short man's complex". Is he aware that you believe these things? Could it be the problems you two are having are more than just a perceived insecurity but an actual insecurity that you may be reinforcing?
Don’t get me wrong I am not blaming you for him giving other women attention, I am just trying to call out that the problem may be a two way street.
I happen to know, as a married man, when these things happen it is usually it a combination of factors that leads up to insecurity for him, and then mistrust for you. The two things you can do to help your marriage are to build him up and communicate. If you can build up his confidence in dealing with you, and also communicate what you are feeling you should be able to work things out.
If he truly is the wonderful man you describe, and you really do love him, you will help him to find confidence with you not other women. Don’t tear him down… build him up and he will continue to love you.

Answer 5

There is nothing entirely wrong with flirting dear, however there comes a time when it becomes repulsive. Have you ever been out and a gentleman says to you" you have a beautiful smile" and you reply all fluttery inside thank you . Flirting in some cases believe it or not can actually spice to your relationship in a play full competitive way. I have had women flirt with me and I have been married for 9yrs. I know when enough is enough however, and I do put my wife above all. You should probably see how much he likes you flirting. If he is alright with that then I wouldn't be to concerned with him taking it to the next level outside flirting. However, if he gets upset with your flirting then I think the both of you may consider talking it over real good, and maybe even seek counseling.

Answer 6

I think most married people, be it men or women, still enjoy flirting to some degree. We all have that need to feel like we still are wanted by the opposite sex outside of our current relationship. I don't think it is from boredom or being unhappy with ones current relationship. It is as you say about ego and also competitiveness. All that being said a married person needs to set limits to flirting and realize there is a definite line that they can't cross. That line starts with the idea that you shouldn't do or say anything to someone that you wouldn't do or say if your spouse was right there with you at the time. You are, or should be, his top priority. This means in everything he does, he needs to be thinking of you and his relationship with you first. My biggest concern is that it sounds like his flirting is crossing a line because it is obviously hurting you. A husband should always care and try to avoid anything that causes pain to the one he loves. The main issue is that you have lost your trust for him and trust is one of the main foundations for a good marriage. You two need to talk and figure out what can be done to regain this trust. It may be that you need couples counseling to deal with this issue as it may involve more than what you two are seeing on the surface. Until you find a way to regain your trust in him this relationship is on very shaky ground.

Answer 7

Allow me to qualify my response first....I am him, I have the same issue and it hasn't ruined my marriage. You sound very attentive, but he has insecurities that he has not found any other way to cope with. He needs the ego boost from outside just to know he still has the same charm and charisma that attracted you. It can be harmless or harmful depending on him. I go to clubs talk to other women as if I'm single and throw their numbers away with my last empty drink glass. He may have feelings of anxiety about a new marriage and the "freedom" that he has surrendered to it. You sound certain that he's not cheating, so set some ground rules about his flirtations and try to deal with it ....if you can. Respect is very important so don't allow him or them to disrespect you.

Answer 8

It's not about you, it's about him. He knows that he is hurting you, yet he still flirts. There is nothing that you can do, it is his problem. Your husband must decide what his priorities are. He needs to know that he is attractive to other women, this is an insecurity that he must overcome. You could be the most woman any man could want and he would still flirt. The more attractive you are the more insecure he will be. You can not control that or cure it. Since it's hurting your marrage you should tell him that he needs professional help. Do it in a nice way, but to save your marrage you must insist that he get help.

Answer 9

yes we do. my case is I take a cold shower and......... you figure the rest. Men are pigs and some women can be too. Some people like to play with fire. but this doesn't mean he crossed the line. You see I have a drop dead gorgeous wife she is from what I read the spitting image of your husband. They have this personality, people stare and glare and drool. but 1 day she went overboard and crossed the line after 17 years of marriage. Things are okay today but not the same. You need to talk alot, spice up all aspects of your lives together. You to start getting all dolled up you deserve it. but your last sentence on trust well that can kill a marriage so you better start talking with him before he does something stupid like my wife did.

Answer 10

Yes I love to flirt with other women...and yes I get bored with my wife.

I still draw the line though. I do not go out one on one with other girls...that is dangerous. I do not develop intimate flirting friends with girls anymore...that is dangerous too.

Nothing wrong with playful flirting...but if it is more than that, then you have a problem. You flat out said you are the perfect wife; therefore there is nothing you can do really...you just picked a guy who is always looking to stray.

Best you can do is talk to him, and set some lines. Sounds like he's being honest with you at least...that's good, no? :-)

Answer 11

If he just likes the attention and is a big flirt let him be. There is a an old song called save the last dance for me, where the woman dances with men all night long but her main guy says remember who's taking you home and in his arms your going to be, so darling save the last dance for me. If he's just flirting but loving you then there shouldn't be a problem. If he is acting on it, or thinking of acting on it, then I'd say goodbye charlie.