My husband and I seperated about a 2 months ago. He wants to get back together, but I'm not so sure. He is there everytime I turn around, calls me numerous times a day, and shows up unexpected. He is smoothering me and can not take the hint. Any advice on how to tell him to give me my space with out hurting him?
2006-07-26 07:20:32 · 13 answers · asked by JoMay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't hint. Talk to him. What is you want from this separation? Does this marriage have a chance? What kind of "space" do you need, and what do you want that space to do for you? If the marriage does have a chance, what will need to change for you? Is there a set time when he can come and see you--say meet with you once a week to talk about the future of your marriage (if there is one?)
Is this separation a chance for you to work towards a new start in your marriage or is it really just a long, drawn-out way of giving him his permanent walking papers? He may be hurt no matter what you do or say, but it is at least more respectful of his feelings for you to be direct, kind, and honest with him.
2006-07-26 07:36:14 · answer #1 · answered by happygirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is still clinging on to the fact that you are both still together, married and under the same roof. He is in love with you still or is in love with loving you. You need to sit with him and tell him that he will be making matters worse if he continues to smother you. How long were the both of you together? What is the reason as to why the both of you seperated? If we knew some of these reasons as to why you broke up then we could answer these questions better. You will need to sit down and talk with him and tell him how you feel and explain to him that you need him to back off for a little while so that you can collect yourself and that you will let him know what is going on as your feelings progress.
2006-07-26 07:37:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful when you are seperated and or getting a divorce man get a little psycho just like woman. When my parents were getting a divorce my dad would call me mom 2413543 times and one day at night he waited for her after work. He tried to force her in the car because he saids they needed to talk. My mom said no and she stepped on his foot and ran. Me and my mom didnt know what were my dads intentions. I love my dad to death but, when someone is in love with another person they may do anything not to loose that person. Good luck!
2006-07-26 07:24:42 · answer #3 · answered by ME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree w/YB answer...my sister went thru a very difficult divorce, but it was separation @ first...she has now been divorced for 3/yrs and the first year was not easy she had to get several restraining orders and change the locks on her house and install a new alarm system...so just be careful because the person you thought you knew you never really knew @ all until they go CRAZY...so if you continue to communicate w/him be very, very careful...I thought the stuff my sister went thru only happened on Lifetime made for TV movies...
2006-07-26 07:31:02 · answer #4 · answered by MZMack 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a big boyfriend, preferably someone who works for the police department or fire department.
Other than that, you may need an order of protection!
Good Luck!
2006-07-26 07:25:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him, tell him you still want to be friends but his constant attention is smothering you and you need space to figure out what you want to do. Explain that by smothering you he is not helping his cause but rather he is hindering it.
2006-07-26 07:30:38 · answer #6 · answered by uniroyalfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him... If he doesn't get it, tell him again... But at some point you will have to stand up for yourself if he doesn't stop. If push comes to shove, you could file for a restraining order. People who are obsessed can be dangerous.
2006-07-26 07:33:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really isn't a way to do it without hurting him. If he doesn't understand the friendly "will you please leave me alone" way. And he doesn't understand the "stay the f**k away from me" way. You may have to resort to a restraining order.
2006-07-26 07:41:52 · answer #8 · answered by Michael K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him in the nuts. That works for everything
2006-07-26 07:31:02 · answer #9 · answered by Andy S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication, just tell him how you feel, maybe he misses you, and misses what you guys had together.
2006-07-26 07:23:20 · answer #10 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋