why do I find it hard to except that it has to be over ?

Question

me and my man have been having problems all we do is argue, I no that it has to be over, because I have excepted that he will never change, and arguments are not good He is a controlling and possesive man and has lived of me for all the time we have been together although we have never lived together properly. If I dont answer the door which I have done many times, he becomes this bad man who wont leave me alone and will cal me continuosly, I have called the police before but im sceared it will back fire on my parents who are vunerable. So this time im trying to break away from him slowly, like allow him to do what he wants and become careless he usually comes late at night, I have started to sleep seperatly from him, he comes and then leaves when he sees that I dont want to sleep with him, I dont no why it really hurts me, whatever he does really hurts me im trying to distance my self but it hurts will it get better? I no in time he will move on , but I feel hurt at whatever he does

Answer 1

You didn't want it to be like this you wanted and still want the man you thought he was when you got together, it's not losing him that is hurting it's accepting all those hopes & dreams are never ever gonna come true with this man.
It will get easier & once you truly believe you deserve better it will only be a niggle, a bad memory, a disappointment.

Be as boring as you can when he is with you, don't give him any money even if you have to clear out your bank accounts and hide the money at your parents. Also when you have sex with him, be bad & boring & don't make an effort with how you look for him trust me he'll leave you alone pretty quick probably soon as he finds another woman to sponge off

Answer 2

He's got you just where he wants you.. Wake up!! he's playing on your heart strings and it has to stop. Give him clear warnings and always carry it through otherwise it will back fire.

Call the police and have a restraining order put on him if he is causing that much grief. Don't be a victim he's a bully. You chose to live together and accepted him for the way he was-is as you say rightly that he will never change- you have to be the one to say what you want and stick to it..

Don't allow him in, call the police and he will be arrested for breach of the peace. Get over it cos it will never change. Get out and stay out, and if he's any kind of decent human being he will leave well alone

Answer 3

You need to go into hiding! Find a womans only shelter (assuming you are a woman) and stay there until you can get out on your own without him. They will help you get a job, make a budget, get on anti depressants, and find an apartment. Tell your parents you are safe and not to answer the door if he shows up and to call the cops. Do Not tell them where you are! They might accidently tell him and you dont want him to find you.
in idaho we have the Booth house and City Light that are both places for women and children safehouses. Call the local hospital for refrences if you dont have those in your town.

Good Luck and stay safe!

Answer 4

End it now, dont have sex with him, if you are not living together dont let him in, get a restraining order and dont answer the door, tell him its over for good, and be totally firm, dont change your story, or let him talk you round, in fact dont see him at all, its going to be hard, and you will need to stay strong, and its going to be scary if he turns nasty, but keep on the same path, call the cops if things get nasty, please dont let him intimidate you, you are well within your rights not to see him again, and you deserve more than abuse, move if you have to, good luck, and stay strong!