my husband hasnt really had some guy time with his couzins and somethimes they invite him to go a play pool or poker and to drink and he tells me to go with and have some girl time also with my sister or my couzins or friends but i really dont like to go out with out him anywhere is it ok for guys to have some guy time and girls to some as well as long as they are not doing nothing dum or out of the normal specially when you are married?can i get some adivce in this situation?
2006-07-26 07:15:53 · 39 answers · asked by bronze23 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you want to know if your husband should be allowed to hang with family or other guys? get used to it sweetie.
let me tell you what happens when guys go to bars and play pool. they play the jukebox. they drink beer. they talk about sports. they jokingly insult each other and on occasion they will look at the waitresses bottom. repeat.
2006-07-26 07:25:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He must be immature. Hes not grown up. No affence. My hubby dont do those things. He cares about my feelings. If you can tie him down a little more like have a baby he will have to stay at home. That means he will be working more. My hubby dont drink unless Im around thats a rule. If a man really loves you he'll sacrafice what he wants to do for your feelings. I give my hubby some time to do what he wants. You must have a break from life but why not take a vacation together. Tell him how you feel and that you want to come with and be part of him. When a man marries a women he gets rid of the childish things like going out with friends and he commits himself to his wife.
Good Luck** Hope things get better for you.
2006-07-26 07:23:39 · answer #2 · answered by girl176a1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you are married.....sooooo? I am in this situation too. I HATE going out or doing anything without my hubby. HOWEVER, I have finally realized that that mentality is just plain silly. Just because you are married does NOT mean your own identity stops! You are still an individual person. Both men AND women need to have their own things to do on their own. There is NOTHING wrong with having a girls' or guys' night out with friends or family. As long as nothing against the marriage is going on then why not??? It is NOT healthy to not have that time for yourself or to take it occasionally. You SHOULD go do something with your sister or friend or what ever! So should he. It's called living! There is nothing in the rules that says once married you should NEVER do anything fun with anyone else! It took forever for me to realize that but once I did, I got over it. Go out with friends, family and have some fun of your own. Be human and an individual!
2006-07-26 07:41:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to this.I just got married on Sat. and he went out with the boys on Tues. to play pool.I don't like this but sometimes spending too much time together can be a bad thing for both of you.You need to have trust.As long as it's not all of the time,and you still spend time together, I wouldn't worry about it.I just keep myself pretty busy when he's not home so I don't become phys-co wondering what he's doing.Save this time to do grocery shopping or house work even.And for God's sake girl, when he tells you to take time for yourself and go out,take advantage!!You may not want to at first,but when you start enjoying yourself without him,you'll feel alot more healthy about your relationship.I'll be thinking about you tonight while I'm sipping on my cocktail and he's home watching the kids!
2006-07-26 07:27:45 · answer #4 · answered by jayne s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's more than ok to do this...you should each have your own friends to spend time with away from one another. It was Kahlil Gibran that wrote:
Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
There have been no truer words written! Do not be so dependent on your husband. Give him as well as yourself fun time and breathing room away from each other.
2006-07-26 07:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, let him be a guy once in a while. You do the same, except have some girltime. Don't always spend time with him and end up being attached at the hip. That usually ends up leading to clinginess and one feeling like s/he's being smothered by the other.
It's good to be together but not so close that you both don't have your own distinct personalities.
2006-07-26 07:20:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My thoughts are if your married be married - plan things surrounding your own family. But their are times that you will spend time without the other - trust is very important in a relationship - if there are signs of cheating most wives will know the signs if the signs are not there trust him and find something you like doing yourself. Absences makes the heart grow fonder.
2006-07-26 07:42:11 · answer #7 · answered by Leila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is absolutely healthy and ok. So what you're saying if it's not is that if two people are married they are joined at the hip? Not good. As long as the two of you are faithful to each other, some time apart is healthy and good for the relationship.
2006-07-26 07:18:14 · answer #8 · answered by 'Barn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my husband was this way for like the first year then we just couldn't do it anymore. I started to tell him to go out with his friends, so I could go with mine. And actually it will bring your relationship a lot closer, because when your not with him you think of him, but your having fun at the same time. Space is good in a relationship, and it really proves your love for each other.
2006-07-26 07:21:16 · answer #9 · answered by lillady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone needs there space. It is even said that if you spend one hour a day just by yourself you will be a more happier person. I would sit down and talk with him about it. Also if your married, you should have know that he liked to do things like this before you married him, so what's the difference now?
2006-07-26 07:23:23 · answer #10 · answered by Mike B. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guy time and girl time is needed so that you could be away from each other for a while and don't get on each other's nerves. Besides, you and him have got to have a life away from each other too. As long as nothing wrong is done, of course.
2006-07-26 07:20:05 · answer #11 · answered by Private Account 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋