my boyfriend told me he needs a huge favor from me. im assuming he needs money, if this is the case how do i make sure im not getting used? should i let him borrow money? i do make alot more money then him but still i dont know why he would ask me for money. is it wrong for a man to ask a women for money?
2006-07-26 07:01:57 · 45 answers · asked by questiontime 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He does have a fulltime job. he is fairly young too, he is 21. i am older then him i dont know if it is an age issue or if he is just wanting to use me.
2006-07-26 07:08:52 · update #1
well, is it a LOT of money?
How'd he get in this situation, through being stupid or just having trouble?
How much can you afford to lose?
Ask these questions and either help him, offer half or say no depending on what your GUT tells you.
2006-07-26 07:07:32 · answer #1 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think almost everyone here has it wrong. First off, how long have you been together? Do you live together? Are you planning on marring him? How much money does he want to borrow? What does he need it for? Is he responsible? Does he pay his bills on time? These are all questions you need to ask yourself. No one can give you a real answer, because we don't know the whole story. I would first find out whether or not he even needs to borrow money, your not sure yet so your just jumping to conclusions. Secondly she didn't say that he doesn't work, just that she made more money........you should really read a question if your going to give someone a suggestion.
If you decide that he is trust worthy and want to give it a shot then make up a contract stating the amount of money he owes you and what you agree to for payments. Have that notarized, there is usually a notary at most banks and libraries. This way if he does not pay you, you have proof that he owes you the money which you can take him to small claims court for.
This is one of those judgment calls, only you know what kind of person your boy friend is.
2006-07-26 07:14:58 · answer #2 · answered by Krissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not wait to find out what favor he wants before you make a decision? When you assume, you go through all the drama in your head before you really know if it will be a problem. You might even get mad at him before he even tells you what the favor is! :-)
When you do find out what he wants you don't have to give an immediate answer... if it's really something big you can take time to think about it and let him know your decision later.
I do want to point out that it always creates fewer problems to GIVE money to friends and relatives than to loan it, and if it's more than you want to give you should only offer what you are comfortable with. For example, if someone wants to borrow $100 you could say you are uncomfortable loaning money but you'd be happy to give $20 as a gift if that would help.
One thing to think about is why he didn't tell you right away what favor he wanted. It's not very considerate for him to let you wonder.
Is it wrong for a man to ask a women for money? I would say yes, usually, but it depends on the relationship.
2006-07-26 08:39:36 · answer #3 · answered by toltec4wisdom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how early on in the relationship it is, how much money he makes and how much you make. If you´ve only just started going out and he´s already asking you for money, that´s a bad sign. If it´s a small amount you can live without, I would say lend it to him and if he doesn´t pay it back never let him borrow money again and tell him why. If it´s a large amount you should sign an agreement where he states that he will promise to pay you back. If he has a good job don´t worry too much about it, but if he has a crappy job or is unemployed, don´t trust him and don´t lend him the money.
2016-03-16 05:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think if a woman has more money it's okay for the man to ask to borrow money. Even if not, sometimes people just fall on hard times. If it's something he does all the time, you're probably being used. I would let him borrow it but don't let it become a habit.
2006-07-26 07:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by theb!tchuhated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only let him borrow money you can spare.(lose)There isn't any way to be sure your not being used except time and getting paid back.
I think it is OK if the relationship has been a long one and you are close enough ( though I would have to be VERY desperate to do that myself) I would also want to know what the loan is for.
(survival rates higher than cigarette money,you know.) Is it a sort term thing like til pay day or a long term thing? Its really up to you and your ability to lend the money and the trust you have in him and your relationship.
2006-07-26 07:16:12 · answer #6 · answered by Daniel H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dose he borrow money a lot or is this the first time. If he has borrowed from you before has he paid you back. If he hasn't then he is using you for sure. If he is paying you back then I don't know. If it makes you uncomfortable tell him you don't like lending him or anyone money. You have the control on this. Is it right or wrong is all up to you only you know how you feel.
2006-07-26 07:07:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's got a stable job? If so, do it. otherwise, don't!! i think it's pretty low for the bread winner to ask for money... In the sense that you are not married!
I am a woman, but I never ask for money from my partner even if I am penniless! heck this morning I was empty , I don't even have the nerve to say borrow me a dollar!!
I don't know, but my opinion is that it's pretty low, especially when it's not for something very important!
As a man:
1. You should be able to pay your rent
2. Pay your utility bills
3. Take your girl to a nice dinner
4. Buy her gifts
5. Make her confortable
Otherwise, you are not qualified to ask for a loan!! And you never ever should, if you are not married. But their might be some exceptions and one of them is that you are being used.
2006-07-26 07:11:33 · answer #8 · answered by Mamamia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really feel like he is in need of it, i would do it. But i would also make him sign a promissary note as well, stating when he borrowed it, how much he borrowed, when he plans to pay you back, and whether interest was discussed. And just explain to him that its nothing personal, you're just looking out for yourself, that way if you guys break up, you have proof he borrowed money and his signature says he will pay you back, just in case court becomes an issue.
2006-07-26 07:07:49 · answer #9 · answered by Kourtney Hall 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it isn't wrong when the person is trust worthy and doesn't normally ask unless they are in a real bind. Have him tell you the reason why he needs the money. Your not a lending tree and you need to get that across to him. I had an Ex once you never ever would ask me this but one day he lost his job and was really screwed... in a situation like that ofcourse I'm gonna help him out. But if this boyfriend of yours is used to asking you for cash like your a dispensing machine then yes he is using you.... run fast and run far.
2006-07-26 07:06:27 · answer #10 · answered by kitkool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋