Why do I feel okay about sex when we talk on the phone or have phone sex but not in person with my girlfriend?

Question

This is my second time asking the question!!!

Why do I feel okay about sex when we talk on the phone or have phone sex but not in person with my girlfriend? I feel confused, I can talk about it just fine. My girlfriend is tired of just talking about it, and wants to have sex. I am just so self-conscious I worry about everything!! We talk about it, in detail, and I freeze up when I see her. It is going to be my first time with a woman, how can I focus on it and not try to change the subject?

Answer 1

I think you make a valid point with your question, which may be considered as fetish in nature. But being perfectly honest, my fetish is to watch two beautiful females making love. I believe two women making love are actually performing beautiful art.

Answer 2

The reason that it's so much easier on the phone is because it's more anonymous. Even though the person you're talking to knows exactly who you are and such, you're still not face to face, so it's easier when you can't see the person's face when they react to things. This is the same concept as to why cyber sex is so appealing to some people.

First times are always nerve wracking. Maybe it's just the fact that you'd rather not TALK about sex. Make moves and see where they lead. If you're that uncomfortable, tell your girlfriend that it's a little hard for you to talk about sex in person. She's bound to understand.

Answer 3

Well it's perfectly normal to freeze up..especially when its your first time and if you're insecure/self-conscious about the issue or yourself. Have you told this to her? Tell her you need her help with it and to be patient. Have you tried setting the mood...try kissing then maybe even switching off the lights so tht if you're conscious about your body then its an issue tht can be supressed. If it is your performance that you're more conscious about then tell her and take your time. There is no rush...half the fun of sex is trying to perfect it.

remember that you're not in it alone,tell your girlfriend as she is in the relationship too.

Answer 4

baby it fine its just nerves i know i have been there too try to clam your self and just dont talk about it in person just act on your feeling start out with a kiss it is no diff than kissing a guy i mean you dont have to do anything diff then try to think about how much you love her snd how she makes you feel when you are on the phone and when youyou get in a hot hot kiss if it is the right time evry fiber of your body will be screeming to you GO FOR IT GO FOR IT JUST DO IT WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN HER PANTS AND well you get the picture dont worry about it being your first time your body and the heat of the everything will take you on a wild ride
that you dont need drugs for your heart will be beating so fast you eyes will only see her and the love you have for her

TRUST ME EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT

Answer 5

Maybe you're not gay or bi. Maybe you just have curiosities but if this is the case then you need to end things with your girlfriend before emotions get involved. Right now it sounds like a relatively surface level. If you love someone you will have the desire to act on those feelings when sex is involved.

Answer 6

Well it's your first time. so that's why you freeze up, it dosen't really mean your not gay or bi...it's just natural for you be be worried about certain things.... all i can tell you is to take your time... if the women you are with has experience then she should be making you feel at easy, if it's the first time for both of you... drink some courge juice(have a drink if your of age) to relax, and take your time, tell her to talk to you and you also need to talk to her... ask her what she wants you to do... if your still freezing up... just start with a kiss and see where it go's

Answer 7

well if you are uncomfortable then u need more time if your girlfriend is pressuring you then you need to tell her u are feeling to much pressure if she loves you she will wait and the moment will happen when you are in love with someone it is a lot easier so stop worrying sex is the least important part of a relationship don't pressure yourself the more you obsess over this the harder its going to be take some time and if you feel this is the woman you want to give yourself to then tell its ok but you want to start physical contact slow and easy get comfortable with her body and yours.

Answer 8

First of all If u are attracted to this girl..then havin sex with her shouldn't be a problem..Maybe there is an underlying issue..do u think that U r doing something wrong? R u self- conscious about your body?..If its any of these..discuss this with your girl friend..she will understand..She's a woman too...lol

Answer 9

i think of she isn't taking your dating heavily. She is putting herself on the information superhighway so men will gawk and tell her she is captivating. What she does not understand is a typical heavy set female get an identical responses because of fact men choose to talk grimy to ladies. i do no longer think of it is cheating despite if it is grounds for c-ya wish you have a extreme high quality life. i think of she likes each and all of the attention she is getting from a number of those wierdo's. Makes her sense solid approximately herself until sooner or later she realizes that those men are wierd and perverts (no longer all).

Answer 10

Hon- phone sex is just a form of masturbating; its not really sex. In person you worry about appearance and pleasing. Realize phone sex isnt really sex