My husband and I have been married for about 2 months. I love him with all my heart, and I know he loves me. The only problem is that I feel like I have been put on the back burner for awhile. He's trying to get on the Highway patrol so he has been busy working out and stuff. How can I get his attention again!?!?!?
2006-07-26 06:28:53 · 35 answers · asked by kelynn1985 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just do your best to be supportive of his goals. His attentions might be a little distracted right now but it's for both of your good that he's doing this. He wants to have a career that will not only make him happy but provide well for the both of you. How can that be a bad thing?
Don't worry, Sunshine, you're not forgotten. You're his ultimate goal. It's just gonna take time and some love and understanding to get there.
If you're feeling left out, ask him if he'd like some company while he's working out. You'll not only be supporting his goals but you'll be getting healthier too. (Which will bring the attention back to you.)
2006-07-26 06:33:41 · answer #1 · answered by Shopgirl9337 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may have been put on the back burner while he focuses on this goal. That doesn't have to be a bad thing. Be careful not to overreact. Make sure that you are encouraging and supportive of his dreams. Ask him if there is anything you can do to help him reach his goal.
Without nagging him, ask him to set aside some time for the two of you. My husband and I have gone out on every Friday night since we've been married (20 years). If we can't go out on Friday, we switch with another night, but it is always a priority. When a night out hasn't worked, we've done a breakfast or lunch together--but always one time a week alone. My husband also makes the effort to be home for dinner most evenings so that we can eat together as a family. Sometimes that means we eat dinner early, and sometimes we eat dinner late. I don't worry about the schedule. It's the time that is important.
The not nagging part is very important. Instead talk to your husband about what time he has that he can set aside to keep a "date" with you. Be realistic. It may be that this is an extra busy time of life and that he will have more available time a little while down the road. In the mean time, find some things to do that you enjoy and help build your own skills and confidence. If you are happy, confident, supportive, encouraging, and NOT NAGGING, you will have his attention.
2006-07-26 06:41:42 · answer #2 · answered by happygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through a similar cicumstance. I need to keep in mind that this is just a temporary situation. Think that as soon as he gets in, things will be better. Be there for him. I'm sure he is stressing out alot too, prolly from the trying to get in, AND cuz he knows he cant spend as much time with you as he would like.
Maybe try to make the time you DO have together as QUALITY as possible? Plan quiet dinners out? Maybe a day trip, a drive away, where you can just BE TOGETHER, w/o any of the other stuff getting in the way.
2006-07-26 06:34:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to understand, everything he is doing is for you, If he's not staying out late, not paying bills then you have something to talk about. Being married like any other relationship you going to have some good days and bad days. He's not trying to put you on the back burner its just so much he need to do to take care of his family.
2006-07-26 06:37:33 · answer #4 · answered by chitwn70 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he gets some free time let him know how you feel in a calm manner. Tell him that you are newlyweds and that this is supposed to be the most wonderful part of the relationship when you spend the most time together. Since he works out, why don´t you work out with him? Take an interest in what he´s doing and offer him moral support and let him know that you appreciate what he´s doing, even though you don´t have to like it.
2006-07-26 06:34:57 · answer #5 · answered by Double 709 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient and be supportive! The difference between men and women is that they deal with things differently. Women tend to deal with issues/challenges in an emotional and "on their sleeve" sort of way...it's usually out in the open. Men, on the other hand, deal with things inside. He's probably feeling alot of things you are unaware of because he's keeping them locked in. Be patient and be supportive and let him know how much you are on his side. You will be pleasantly surprised that when he's ready to open up a little and isn't stressing about this postion so much, you will reap the benefits. Relationships are alot like riding a motorcycle, you have to lean through the turns together or you ended up on the pavement. Be patient...take those "turns" in life with him, don't lean the other way and think of yourself first...think of him and what he may be feeling or going through. Lean with him through the turns of life or you'll end up dumping everything! Good luck! God bless!
2006-07-26 06:33:18 · answer #6 · answered by amomentssunlight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get off his back dumbo . . . why dont you just leave him alone & let him take care of something besides YOU... Jesus . . did you ever stop to think that he might be getting that job so he could have better things for his family . . . . maybe everything in the world doesnt have to revolve around you. I hope you get hit by a gas truck & taste your own blood very soon! Maybe then your husband could shovel you into a trash can like you deserve.
2006-07-26 06:32:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a hobby for yourself... Being desperate for someone else's attention is never a good thing. Read a good book, take up cross-stitching, get into a MMPORPG, join a gym, buy a fish tank, what's not. Whatever you do, don't be needy, this will slowly ruin your relationship.
2006-07-26 06:45:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's working for the both of you, at least he's doing something productive. In that line of work he'll have to be in shape or else you won't have any of his attention cause he won't make it. Why don't you go to the gym with him, his focus and enthusiam will only benefit yall future so support him, don't distract him.
2006-07-26 06:36:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not join him in his quest for his new position.. Support him.. be there for him instead of allowing yourself to be pushed behin the scenes. Does he workout at the station or does he workout at an actualy fitness center? If he does, choose to work out with him. This way you will be with him and you're doing something together.. He'll appreciate you're support and will ultimately remember you for it. Don't stress out.. You're going to have accept that even though you're married, he's still going toh ave his man time and you're going to have to have you're girl time. :)
2006-07-26 06:34:11 · answer #10 · answered by Patience S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋