How do you balance your household work with a newborn?

Question

Hi Everyone. I know this is a complicated question, but I would really like your advice. I want to make sure my house doesn't fall apart once I have a newborn. I can't hire help, my husband will be working from day one, the grandmas have full-time jobs, so it's all up to me. Were you able to keep your house up (i.e. keeping it clean, doing laundry, cooking meals, etc.)? How did you manage? Any tips?

Wow...a laundry basket! I've never heard of that...what a great idea!

Answer 1

Honestly...I walk around constantly tired. :D People say, "Oh, rest when the baby rests, the housework can wait!" I'd be scared to set foot in those people's houses! This is especially true when your baby starts having tummy time on the floor and starts crawling. Every thing that child touches, she'll put in her mouth...I guarantee! Who wants to let a baby crawl around on dirty carpets? I'm not obsessive about it, but I do like a clean house and clean clothes.

My advice to you is...try to do a little bit at a time. Immediately after having a baby, you really do need to rest. You might think you feel fine, but your body has been through a LOT, and you need to take it easy for a while and let your body heal. This is especially true if you have a c-section. You really should be doing NO housework then. At least until your incision is fully healed.

As for keeping the place neat clean, etc. Don't try to make a mad dash and get everything done at once. Assign certain chores for certain nights. (Monday is laundry night. Tuesday, you clean the bathrooms. Wednesday you dust and vacuum. etc.) I was always the type that got up first thing Saturday morning and cleaned and did laundry all day long and had it done with for the day. I realized after having kids (28 months old and 12 months old now) that I could no longer do that. A) I don't have the time to...spending time with them is more important! and B) I don't have the energy to do it all at once anymore.

You should also ask your husband to help out where he can. If you don't trust him to do the laundry or cook (and I don't blame you, LOL) have him do something easy like gather the dirty laundry and carry it to the laundry room for you, or empty all the waste baskets from the bedrooms, den, etc., empty the diaper pail. Every little thing he can do (no matter how small) will be a huge help!

Answer 2

DO NOT EVEN TRY to keep the house perfect. For the first 6 weeks your whole job should really be the baby. You are going to have to let some things slide and you are going to have to get others to help out. Don't just accept everything on your head.....that's not right and it will make it take longer for you to heal. Look for other solutions.

The baby is a full time job at first. Even if dad works during the day, he needs to pitch in when he is home and do laundry or cook dinner or something.

Can dad and the grandmas each take a single day off in the first couple of weeks? Then you'll have a little help. If they each took one day off per week, that's 3 days you'd have help! Or could some of them take some half days? Do you have any BIL or SIL around who could help?

Are there people at church you can call on for help?

Are you going to La Leche League because sometimes members will take turns helping moms after the birth.

What about a teen in the neighborhood who could come over to help after school?

Make up some meals ahead of time and freeze them. Some moms even have a "casserole shower" where others bring them a frozen meal prior to the birth. Others get meals several times a week from friends, family, church members or LLL moms in the first month or so after the baby arrives.

Have hubby pick up take out on the way home sometimes.

Keep a list on your fridge of what needs done and if someone asks "how can I help" then ask them to pick something on the list to do.

Set your priorities now. What will drive you nuts if it doesn't get done? What can you easily let slide until baby is a little older? I suggest keeping whichever room you'll spend the most time in up and letting the other stuff slide for a while. That way when you're sitting there holding the baby you won't be looking around obsessing about what needs to be done.

Newborns sleep a lot so you can do SOME work while baby is sleeping. BUT you also need to get YOUR sleep while the baby is sleeping!

Get a sling so you can wear the baby while you clean.

DO NOT put your baby on feeding schedule! Feed the baby when s/he seems hungry. Baby will let you know. And sometime between 6 weeks to 3 months baby will most likely fall into a recognizeable pattern with sleeping and eating and life will get a little easier.

Answer 3

Mandy! Just thought I'd throw some out for ya...I have crazy cleaning with the daycare all day and don't want to do it in the evening cause I've cleaned up ALL DAY LONG...but how I keep it going and hopefully still will when baby comes is that I spread it out over the week. I have to sweep the dining room several times a day b/c of the kids but as far as mopping and cleaning the bathrooms and stuff I just do one a day or every other day and by the beginning of the next week it's a sparkling house for the most part. The kitchen is the hardest because it is in constant use (do you have a dishwasher...I couldn't live without mine!) but I just make sure I clean up as much as I can right after we eat and what I can't get done in like 10 min. I do the next morning while I make breakfast. Laundry is the easiest for me because I just stick in a load in the morning and put in the dryer or hang it up at lunch time or if I'm too busy I do it in the evening. Make easy meals for a while that you can just stick in the crock pot...use those crock pot liners so you don't have to wash it too. We can chat about it more later if you want :)

Answer 4

you place the baby first.

this will be difficult until you establish a daily routine, and even when you get a routine down, the baby will still interrupt it. many chores will become difficult to keep up with when you have a newborn baby.

you may need to simply leave some daily chores not done, and ask your husband to help out when he gets home in the evening. i'm a working dad, and trust me, i know my wife had a hard time when the babies were little. i told her to simply take care of the baby, and when the baby slept, she should rest as well.

when the baby is about three months old, you'll start finding you have more energy for work around the house. but only do the minimum amount of work necessary to keep the house in order. the baby is TOP priority, and if you don't get anything else done during the day, then who cares??

clean the bottles, change the baby, nurture it. charish the time you have while the baby is still small. dad will just have to help out in any way he can. if he doesn't help, then it's going to be very difficult for you. - my wife and i are in the same boat.. we have no childcare either...

good luck. :D

Answer 5

Prioritize! Start before the baby comes....make easy meals that can be frozen and easily thawed for later.... make sure the house is clean to start with, cause once the baby comes, you will need to rest when it sleeps.....plan on the big things not getting done for about two months...put laundry in, in the morning, that way you have all day to remember it's there and to get it into the dryer...use paper plates and disposible stuff for a while to keep dishes down, ask for help from anyone who is there.... good luck and remember, take care of you and the baby first, then worry about if you mopped.

Answer 6

A newborn will sleep ALOT, you'll have plenty of time... but when your husband is home on the weekends try to premake dinner, and freeze it for the week. You will appericate having dinner cooked by tossing it in the oven... Also, I finally broke down a got a house cleaner when my kids were 4 & 6... trust me its worth every penny to do things with your kids instead of spending a whole day cleaning and washing bedding! Then you just have to do maintence thoughout the other week(s). Try to budget it for when your child is a bit older. Its also a good idea to have date night with your husband. Find a sitter for once a week, even if you two only go out for an hour or two, its worth it to keep your relationship intact!

Answer 7

usually when the baby sleeps you do the work.. which is most of the time when they are a newborn.. its amazing what you can get done if u have to hurry. my boy is 16 months old and he gets into everything. lol.. my suggestion is to get a baby swing that you dont have to wind up and a vibrating baby papasan (seat) even if u hired someone for 2 hours at 5 bucks an hour.. thats only 10 bucks.. as far as laundry, i wouldnt worry about it too much because at least u dont have to wash it urself..

put the baby first though, and it'll all fall into place, making a schedule might make it easier.

Answer 8

I was married on my 18th birthday and had my first child at 19 1/2
After I got over the first week and the shock of getting up at night to feed my son, it got a little easier. I worked when he slept. I always kept a clean house, dinner on the table between 5 & 6 and did laundry as needed. Believe me you will find the time. It takes getting use to but our mom's and grandma's did it and they did not have half the convience's we have today. By 26 I had 3 children and still managed to do it all. Working mom's cannot do it all and they have to pay someone to take over for them, I enjoyed being a mom and I would not have paid anyone to do something I would rather do myself. Stay at home if you can and take care of your little one you will both be better for it. From one contented wife and mother, good luck!

Answer 9

The first month, don't worry about your house, just clean whenever the baby is asleep. Don't stress about it.

After one month, put your baby on a feeding schedule of every 4 hours. The baby will be awake for about an hour to an hour and a half. Feed, diaper, and play with your baby. Then when s/he is asleep, do your cleaning. It's a short window of time, but that's how things get done when you have a newborn.

If you want to take a walk or go to the store, always have a diaper bag ready next to the door. After you feed and diaper the baby, head out the door for about a half-hour.

It worked for me :)

Answer 10

It was very hard, but I managed. In between my baby sleeping, I would do my house work. After about 8pm, every time my baby got up, I would feed her spend some time with her and put her back to sleep. Then I would get some sleep. After 11 am, instead of me going back to sleep after feedings, I would start the chores and after they where done, I would find some time to my self. It will be hard for your body to adjust, but it will work out. You will just have to make a schedule and try to stick with it as best as possible. The first week things might be a little out of hand, but you will need the rest. So wait before you start a schedule. Get as much rest a possible. The best thing is to make sure the house work is done before you go to bed. Good luck