Like My Poem? I made it up right now....?

Question

Tears

Tears run down my face.
My soul streams over my cheeks.

Hate and sadness explode from my eyes.
My tears only bring more…. And more….

Until my features are caked in tears.
These tears have burrowed for so long.

I cry out using them,
The salty drops going unnoticed.

I want to be loved, to see those I love,
But my only company is this wretched storm of rain.

The rain pours down, stings me,
But I let it continue.

Who cares if my eyes are puffy,
My nose runny?

Obviously nobody,
Because they don’t see these tears that are tearing me apart.

My crying is over,
The tears gone.

But still my agony and loneliness reign in me,
And invisible tears still fall.

Answer 1

It really touched me.You're an artist.
Hope it is partly fictional and if it's not,hope you feel better soon.
Your Poem is very beautiful and the feelings really come out of the text into your hart.

Answer 2

You've got spunk. I read your other poem too. This one is better and indicates a certain flavor to which you seem partial. All of that is good, but you still have to work on the craft of writing.
Your imagery makes me think of a very intelligent young person.
That's not a bad thing it's just an indicator.
I took the liberty of re-arranging part of your last poem as an example of a technique I use in songwriting. (poetry's cousin)
Check it against what you wrote and you'll see every word is yours and the imagery is basically the same, just arranged a bit more succintly.

"Magical moments of love don't last forever...
Oh, I wish they could

If I could stay in your arms forever,
Without doubt I would.

Sweet embrace ends,
Our bodies pull away.
I want so badly to return to you,

I look in your eyes,
This feeling is new to me,
As it is for you."

You wrote that! I just rearranged what you'd written. Poetry is a beautiful medium and everyone has their favorites, but in the end poetry is writing words on paper in order to convey some meaning. Wordsmything is a craft. There are techniques that have been developed over the centuries that really do work.
Reading "god poetry" is very helpful, but what exactly is "good poetry"? Frankly, that's your decision to make.
I like the axiom, "Less is More", your likes and dislikes will emerge as you continue to develop your craft. Read as much as you can and try to write as much as you can and take some formal classes on writing, composition, etc.
And remember, writer's write! Keep writing!

Answer 3

I give you 9 out of 10. (That is a joke since I hate the ideas of ratings for poetry since you are pouring out your deepest feelings in the most beautiful language you can produce.)

I don't know where you are from or how old you are. (I might check later.) Anyway, in my opinion age has little to do with the quality of any art. What is important is to express significant ideas, feelings, and/or anything else meaningful. An artist always wants to get stronger in his/her art.

That usually means some study and above all practice.

Any decent poet wants to work on how the words flow. You do it well but we all should keep trying to make the words more perfectly communicate the emotion.

So, I hope you can publish this and keep writing for major publications in the future.

Answer 4

You have some interesting imagry going here. However, work with incorporating this feeling into a poem that is less literal. What I think makes a poem particularly beautiful is a poet's ability to show what he/she is feeling without expressly telling it.

Answer 5

That would be crap!
My soul streams over my cheeks!!!??????
It shouldn't be a poem it should be a story of agony!

Answer 6

You sound like you're in or have been in a lot of emotional pain.

Answer 7

It sounds decent, but I hope that it's not about you!

Answer 8

it is good but sounds kinda depressing

Answer 9

not bad did you take creative writng by any chance?

Answer 10

i totally loved it