i have a friend tiffany, she lives with her uncle glenn recently she has been calling me alot to come over supposedly to keep her company she drinks bloody marys everyday and smokes crack and pot what she does on her own time is her personal busniess. she gets SSI and has a payee she will call me for loans of money smokes cat food booze i tell her like a cracked record i have the money and other things to loan her she says ok next day she is calling me for a hand out. how do you get it across to someone who isn't taking a no for an answer i'm at my wits here here any advice greatly appreachated
2006-07-26 05:33:54 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
which by the way i give tiffany nothing when she calls me
2006-07-26 05:44:37 · update #1
You're going to have to use "tough love" with good old Tiffany, honey. She's not going to change and she will use everyone she thinks can give her something....including YOU. Absolutely do not loan/give/gift her with another red cent, or anything of value. Do not let her in your home, because she'll be stealing things to sell. You don't have to be "nice" to a junkie. I'm sure she is probably a good person when she isn't using, but what you're doing is enabling her to continue to use dope and other people. PLEASE...stop giving anything to her. Prepare yourself for some verbal abuse; call the cops if it gets physical. It won't be easy, but you will be doing her a huge favor in the long run. Good Luck.
2006-07-26 05:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 6⤊ 3⤋
If she were doing drugs and the police came in, you would be just as busted as she was, don't even put yourself in that situation. See has a rep payee because she can not handle her own money, just tell her that and that you work too hard for your money to be giving it away. I do know it is easier said than done. I work with many people that need a rep payee because of substance abuse issues, and they are very manipulative and very persistent. Stay your ground though. You also may want to change your phone number or get caller ID.
2006-07-26 16:18:44 · answer #2 · answered by Josie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time she calls you let her know how you feel first about her doing these things, and secondly about her getting you roped up in them. Tell her you are uncomfortable with her actions and even more uncomfortable because she is trying to get you involved. Let her know that because you are her friend you will no longer be providing money etc. for her drug use and other unacceptable behaviors. Just tell her that you are her friend, and you care about her and her future. If you are long time friends from childhood, remind her of all your memories together... just give her some happy memory of you two being together for her to think about. This might show her what the drugs and alcohol are doing to your relationship. Offer her some time alone to think about these things. After your conversation with her then pray for her. The next time she calls ask her if she has thought about what you told her. If she just asks for more money etc, then tell her your sorry but you have to break the friendship. If she says yes and she wants to turn her life around, then get her some information about AA or other rehab options close to you. Good luck and God bless.
2006-07-26 12:51:02 · answer #3 · answered by Girl 4 God 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to her because she obviously needs help. See if you can get her to go into rehab and try to show her how much better her life will be without drugs in it. There may be something deeper that is making her turn to drugs that you don't know about so be a friend and be there for her. Tell her that you cannot be there for her financially but any other way you can.
I hope I helped and Good Luck.
2006-07-26 12:40:55 · answer #4 · answered by blue_girl_05us 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The simple answer is not to give her ANYTHING...takers like her will move on to some other giver.
She had somebody else before you, but they wised up and gave her the cold shoulder and she filled that void with you.
2006-07-26 12:42:25 · answer #5 · answered by sunshine25 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes not a real friend....real friends dont treat you that way. Just say NO to her, let her know that you will not pay for her drug issues. I would stay away, if she got busted and your there with her...well they might haul you off in the wagon too.
2006-07-26 12:40:15 · answer #6 · answered by baseballmommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say no mean it and don't give it to her!! I would find a friend that is a friend not a user! Stay away from her!!
2006-07-26 12:39:58 · answer #7 · answered by mamabear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your phone number or ignore her calls...doesn't sound like a good friend to me
2006-07-26 12:38:38 · answer #8 · answered by heathergcsu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first thing, think about it, is she really your friend?
second, just dont answer the phone! and if you do, say you have plans and that you are busy!
third, tell her what she is doing is not right! She could die if she keeps it up!
2006-07-26 12:40:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you severe the friendship now. people who are addicted to crack cocaine will always be wanting something from you all the time , i am suprised she isnt stealin you blind. please get away fast, dont take her calls and dont let her in when she comes over, if all else fails.....move
2006-07-26 12:38:24 · answer #10 · answered by pisof49 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋