Make my day punk!
2006-07-26 05:30:16 · 15 answers · asked by gorgeoushunk 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
heello, iss tthhatt thhee sshhoop iii boouugghht thhee vviibbrrattorr ffrroomm. yes. ccaann yyoouu tteell mmee hhooww ttoo ttuurrnn tthhee ffuucckkiinngg tthhiinngg ooffff.
two peanuts walk into a pub, one was a salted.
2006-07-26 05:40:37 · answer #1 · answered by Cj 2 · 12⤊ 2⤋
Hard to choose. Some of my favourites are:-
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
You have to be 100% behind someone before you can stab them in the back.
I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel but it was only some bastar bringing me more work.
Individualists - Unite!
I'm schizophrenic. And so am I.
You'll get what's coming to you - unless it's posted.
I'm the guy your parents warned you about.
Double your drive space. Delete Windows.
Alone: In bad company.
Black holes really suck.
Boldly going nowhere.
Those who live by the sword will get shot by those who don't.
Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue
F U CN RD THS U CNT SPL WRTH A DM
Do I look like a freaking people person?
Clones are people two.
I'm a nobody. Nobody's perfect. Therefore I am perfect.
He who laughs last is generally a bit slow.
Please reply if you don't get this message.
More hay Trigger? No thanks Roy, I'm stuffed.
I hate coffee - it keeps me awake at work.
If you don't like the way I drive get off the pavement.
One of us is thinking about sex.......OK it's me.
Learn from your parent's mistakes - use birth control
Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.
CHILDPROOFED my house. But they still get in.
Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.
Never answer an anonymous letter.
Always go to other people's funerals or they won't go to yours.
We always hold hands. If I let go she shops.
Anarchy is better than no government at all.
I brake for..........wait AAAH NO BRAKES.
The four fast food groups, Fast, Frozen, Instant and Chocolate.
A small object that is accidentally dropped will hide.
Can you repeat the part after 'Listen very carefully'?
If ignorance is bliss why aren't there more happy folk?
Nature gave man a brain so that the rats could colonise space.
Law of Hydrodynamics - When the body is immersed in water the phone rings.
Law of the Supermarket - The other line moves faster.
It is bad luck to fall out of a 13th floor window on a Friday.
Acrimony: what a divorced man gives his wife.
Do it tomorrow. You've made enough mistakes for one day.
Not all men are fools. Some are bachelors.
The wages of gin are breath.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me.
Why don't you go out and play in the traffic.
Please don't talk when I'm interrupting.
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.
Love is grand. Divorce is twenty grand.
If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Check your tyres before a long car journey. There should be about four.
Interesting Statistics - 1 in every 12 people suffer from mental illness. There are 635 MPs
Did you know that sharks will only attack man when they feel like it.
Deep down he is shallow.
He who laughs, lasts.
2006-07-26 07:19:32 · answer #2 · answered by felineroche 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't think of any real classics but I quite like...
Yeah people say I'm ugly; I went to the proctologist and he stuck his finger in my mouth.
2006-07-26 05:35:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scuse me, but it's not Halloween, and nobody thinks it's funny when you just parade around wearing that horrific mask and I think it's really time you took it off.
2006-07-26 05:35:16 · answer #4 · answered by Allison 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man with sheep under his arm talking to his wife:
Man:
"See this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache"
Wife: "Thats a sheep"
Man: "I was talking to the sheep".
2006-07-26 05:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by Harry H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a dyslexsic man walks in to a bra
2006-07-26 05:32:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look in the mirror naked.
2006-07-26 08:07:44 · answer #7 · answered by lignebur72 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mama is so fat her belt size is equator.
2006-07-26 07:00:49 · answer #8 · answered by FatElvis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
old macdonal was dyslexic ieeou
2006-07-26 05:34:07 · answer #9 · answered by duncan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boo
2006-07-26 05:32:51 · answer #10 · answered by truelylo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋