Why is it hard to find a woman who is beautiful but also ambitious and not stuck up and wants a real man?

Question

I have dated numerous women who date me for the looks and for what im doing for my self but im tryin to find someone who wants something out of life...wants a family....and wants to be loved

I define beauty as(in my word)....not so much as skin but personality...carisma...the way she speaks her mind...stuff like that

Answer 1

I'm attractive, ambitious, not conceited, want a real man, want to be loved, and want a family. However, the family can wait and I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now. I'm young, have a great career, enjoy time with my firends and I'm making up for a repressed childhood when I'm not playing adult.

My experience with guys who are looking for the woman you described is that he is so set on his preferences that he knows exactly what he wants... his mother.

Or there's the guy who wants to get married tomorrow, or the other one who wants to have kids tomorrow.

I don't date for looks, I date the person, and I already own a house, so as long as he has a career he enjoys I'm happy.

Answer 2

I told my kids you are or become whom you hang with . If your ambitious and real , you will show this and a women will notice .The stuck up may be a front to avoid men that have done less with goals and as you can understand she also worked hard and wants a companion who will carry the responsibilities and reach for same goals . As for children , many career women place this on hold ,knowing that life will change a lot after a child becomes part of the family ( calls at work , baby sick , sitter can't come in today , cost of child needs) /As far as beautiful this is in the eyes of the beholder .What you may feel is perfect another may feel she is too tall. short , heavy , thin , etc.,.I've met men that have a few children , he works hard but sorry I want someone on my level of income .He might make more but the child support and all the head aches , drown out him from being a catch .He becomes the goldfish instead of the prize catch .The perfect person will be someone you feel you can over look their flaws and they will over look yours . You know what you want and so do we .The best thing / advice is never settle , and notice you own flaws as well . Allowing to be loved by someone .I know I placed a block up that has become a safety zone .Be careful not too judge , and open your eyes to what she may offer , instead of what she can't . She may not want a family right now , that's ok .There are women that will have A children just for the fact the man has a lot to offer , love is second if at all .Women and men have became very well off from this . Might be ( sorry this happens ) but you feel you have more to offer than she does.Women judge as well .No one wants to build a tomorrow to start all over again broke , hurt , stressed .Keep being the best you are and you'll find her .Don't lower your standards just know where your viewed as well .

Answer 3

Hey, you can't have everything...

Maybe you need to lower a standard... I would go with the beauty thing. Looks are only skin deep, and can changed. What really matters is how a person is on the inside.

My advice. Find a woman who is ambitious, nice, and wants a family. If you do not like the way she looks, pay for the makeover. On her birthday, give her a spa gift. Send her to a great salon to give her style, trim her nails and remove all facial hair. Then buy her some nice clothes to complete the look.

T.

Answer 4

You post a very good question. I am sure there are others wondering the same thing - both male and female.

My answer would be "yes", there is someone as you describe out there. However, in our society these days the focus seems to have sadly drifted to the "me, me, me" syndrome (as I call it). Lack of self respect, lack of morales, lack of any sense of right or wrong, or taking accountability for ones action has made it difficult to find a person of this caliber.

My suggestion is to be patient. Do the things you love to do, don't settle for anything less that what you desire, and I wish you the best. She is out there, it will take time and patience.

Answer 5

I wish I could answer that one....I'm a happy go lucky girl who loves intelligent conversations, someone who can make me laugh, someone who wants and doesn't mind giving love, a halfway decent looking man, he doesn't need to make TONS of money because I am not into material things, I love the outdoors, sun, beach, hiking, forests, camping, floating....I've been told by many that I'm very attractive, I don't mind hard labor (I'm not a girly girl...I don't mind getting my hands dirty) I LOVE learning new things and trying new things, I absolutely love to laugh, it makes me feel awesome....but I'm not a career minded person, meaning that I don't hold a particularly great paying job....so is this why I can't get the guy in the end?? We are "best friends" and he wants to spend every waking moment with me except that he tells me " he's not in love with me" (we did go out for 3 1/2 yrs.) and have since messed around periodically....so what's up with that??? I know where your coming from because it's not like you CAN'T get anyone...it's just not anyone with any substance....and then god forbid you do fall for someone...they probably only consider you a "friend"....
All I can say is that in my experience...there are a lot of simple minded women out there that only are worried about getting married and having the white wedding, husband, huge house, everything else under the sun that you can imagine....except a HAPPY marriage...that always gets lost somehow...I have so many friend (who I have since quit hanging around) that are hell bent on getting married and making sure that he makes excellent money (that's a must) so that they can quit their jobs and have fun all day.....they never talk about Love or sharing similar interests, cuddling, etc...... I don't and can't relate to that....I'm the total opposite...I would rather go for the blue collar worker who works hard and wants to be genuinely happy, all I ask is that they give 50%....I'll give the other 50%.....I want someone who looks into my eyes and I can tell right away that they love me dearly...someone who will stand by me forever and WANTS to be with me.....someone who enjoys my company and accepts my 15 yr. old son as their own.....in reality, I don't think that I will ever find that person, I have but he doesn't want me, so what do I do?? How do I fall "out" of love?? Guys don't want nice girls, they want b**chy ones...I've even had guys admit to that...
You sound like you are a rare type of guy...so don't change.....don't give in and "settle" for someone, you'll only wind up losing in the end....
I wish you the best of luck and I can relate to you, take comfort in the fact that there are others out there like you.

Answer 6

1. We're assuming that you;re the real man?
2. What if the woman wants something out of life that's NOT family?

Perhaps, like many men, you end up also reflecting your insecurities on the women you date. Or perhaps you just haven't found the right one.

Answer 7

dude, good luck with all that. i have dated lots of girl, now i am pretty sure you are older than me (sounds like you have better morals) but this is my theory on women. when you are young dont get commited, move around. honestly dont even date, just say hey lets go here and hang out and if you feel a true connection with this person than go out again and if it keeps working you can date. but dont pick a person just based on all those things. cuz honestly my picky single brother. looking for a woman who wants all those things and is physically attractive is gonna be hard. so dont be too picky, have u tried one of the internet dating systems where they will find you a mate. that might work for you. they will find one person just for you. if i didnt help im sorry. but if i did, then um... your welcome.

Answer 8

Because you also focus on the look of a woman. When you have a standard of," I want a woman who is ambitious and know how to fight for herself." Maybe your girlsfriends won't be beautiful stuck up's. Like dissolves like, ever heard of that chemical property?

Answer 9

Well, see everyone defines beauty different and in this day and age unless you are a size 2 or below you are fat. There are beautiful women out there who want to be loved believe me.

Answer 10

If you really want these things, you would already have this woman because there are a lot of women like that looking for decent guys.
So..if you're a decent guy -- then it won't be a problem for you.
If you, however, are shallow and self serving, you won't find a girl like this.