Yeah I know why am I even asking at this point?

Question

My ex and I have had a history of problems and have been together since I was 16 (now 23). We got married young (problem #1) and about 4 months ago we separated (well i kicked him out) bc he was having an affair. Long story short, I began seeing someone and apparently so did he. My ex and I have been talking again and are considering giving it another chance. However, he has not been completely honest with me about who he was seeing. At first I didnt want to discuss who we were both seeing while apart but he kept egging me on so I assumed honesty would be the best policy if it was that important for him to know. I asked him if he had been seeing anyone, first it was no, then it was yes a one-night stand where he didnt sleep with her and yet knows nothing, and then yesterday after spending the day with our daughter we go to dinner only to be placed right next to the girl he was seeing that now he finally remembers. I saw him looking at some car on the way in and then bitching about

where they were going to seat us, he dipped out to the bathroom real quick and came back mad and i think he texted her or something bc she was messing with her phone. He says that it was a one time thing and that it was nothing but that girl was pissed and as she walked out she said i need to get out of her before i smack someone (meaning him). Do you think this guy was still talking to her while trying to work **** out with me or was she really as he says just mad to see him with someone else? He told me I have no right to be hurt or embarrassed bc of that bc I was also seeing someone else but I ended it and he tried to lie about who she was in the restaurant as well as before what gives?

Answer 1

So what is your question?

Answer 2

Look, if you are considering working things out, then whatever happened while you were apart should stay there. Why do you want to start the relationship again with problems. You both need to get serious and start working on your own relationship. If people that you've dated during that time are going to become a problem, you have to make sure that they understand that you are both no longer available and that you are trying to make your marriage work. That is the only thing you should be worrying about right now.

good luck.

Answer 3

You're both separated...so you don't have a right to be mad about that.

He did have an affair that initiated the split...and if you think he's lying again...well...what more do you want? If he's still lying to you, it doesn't look as if he is changing, do it?

Also...once someone breaks the trust in a relationship - it is VERY hard to get back. Are you willing to live a lifetime of always doubt him? Even if you love him, that still might drive you insane...always wondering where he was...if his stories are true...resenting him for what he did.

Good luck with your decision - you know what his character is...if you decide to be with him, don't complain anymore...because nothing new is a surprise.

Answer 4

Well, you all did marry too young but now you are. Have you ever thought about marriage counseling. The one thing about being honest in situations like that is that someone is always going to lie. He has a pattern of lying. Now if you can deal with this the rest of your life go right ahead but if not, get counseling. The counseling will give you time to decide where you go from here. Good luck.

Answer 5

What gives is that you both were separated had affairs , no matter if it was a one night stand or steady. And you have to except that either he wants to tell you the whole truth or not. You broke yours off and to be honest you don't know for sure if he really did his. But what do you do? Try to get back together without you two arguing on who dated who then or just break it off again. Up to you.

Answer 6

Okay logically u were doomed from the begining but u shouldn't want to continue 2 be doomed get out and find ur happiness and make sure that it is right ur husband will not be honest and u deserve that if u feel u don't then stay but get out and stay out u will find u will be more happier in the end.

Answer 7

Awkward situation. He is really trying and he got tangled with this woman who is obviusly upset.

If you really want to work things out that means forgetting what happend during your separation and cut ties with those people.

You have to forget and stop dwelling into it or you will not be able to go past this. You are right to ask him to stop seeing-texting this woman. If he says he is not seing her then there is no other choice but to trust him and leave it alone.

Do you want to ruin your second chance by being suspictious? Drop it or drop him

Good luck

Answer 8

I'd think long and hard about reconcilling with a man that keeps secrets from someone he's supposedly trying to work things out with. Kind of a lousy start. Your title says it all. I'd move on...find someone deserving of your honesty and love. Much luck!

Answer 9

Reread your question/statement and then really read it. You're not happy with him so blow him off and find someone you can stand. He's done it once and he'll do it again, mark my words.

Answer 10

He isnt being truthful with you get the heck out. Or find out who she is, get someone else to you trust to know her and find out the truth and then rub his face in it.

Answer 11

He's scum and your blind...He is obviously cheating on you and your to gulible to notice...
I am sure you will take him back so why bother asking for advice..

BE STRONG AND KICK HIM TO THE CURB