Why do people look down on anyone that isn't married?

Question

I'm so tired of seeing comments about other peoples' questions about how they deserve their problems because they aren't married. How rude can you be? Y'know, some things happen. So what if someone got pregnant when they're not married? A lot of people do this. It doesn't have any impact on a baby just because there isn't a piece of paper saying the parents are legally bound. And not everyone is as Christian as you. Get over it. They have their own lives and their own ideas so quit pushing your own. I know it's the Christian way to judge everybody who doesn't think like you, but LAY OFF. And it isn't the end of the world that a person has a "boyfriend" and not a fiance or a spouse. That boyfriend/girlfriend thing usually happens first. People that jump into marriage too young end up getting divorced. That is an indisputable fact. QUIT JUDGING PEOPLE BASED ON MARITAL STATUS.

Answer 1

I'd have to agree with you. Our culture puts SO MUCH weight on marriage, it's ridiculous. Isn't it funny that our culture insists that everyone be married, yet there is a 50% divorce rate? How bass ackwards is that!? I think it's just another reason for people to place judgements on other people. Why do people love doing that so much? Why not let people make their OWN decisions?! It's THEIR lives. The only reason that I'm married is because I personally wanted my children to have married parents. But, guess what...that's MY decision. Now, for my cousin for instance, marriage is not the best option for her. She's trying to have a baby and people jump all over her for it. But, hey...she's financially responsible and secure, and happy and secure with her boyfriend...so what's the problem?

Whew...I feel better. Thanks :-)

Answer 2

MArriage is more then a piece of paper. Its a contract, a vow that you make to the person that you love. Marriage says I will be with you and only you. My parents are married and even as I child I imagined how it would be if they were not and I KNEW that it would just not be the same. I had friends whose parents were not married and yes, as a child I knew that something was just not right. If you love someone and want to be with them forever then you GET MARRIED. Children are not stupid. Eventually they will realize "hey, mom and dad are not married. Do they love each other, are they going to be together forever?"
Your right by saying that people jump into marriage too soon, however, they also jump into having a child too soon. I dont think it is fair to have a child untill you and the childs father/mother are completly committed to each other and completly commited to raising a child.
Now with all this said you may think I am some Christian freak but I am not religious in any way, I just have strong moral values and believe that getting married before having a child is the right and fair thing to do. Again, I knew as a child if my parents were not married then I would have turned out much differently in my views of love and committment. Frankly I think I would be pretty screwed up in that area. Marriage is a LOT more then a piece of paper....and if that is what you boil it down to be then maybe you should not get married.

Answer 3

It's not just Christian values, it's Jewish, Muslim....the same old testament is found in those religions.

And studies show that kids to better with a mom and a dad. That's all. No Christians shouldn't judge. But you know as well as I do that on this website, people are going to voice their opinions. You can voice yours too. THat's what's so fun about it.

And no, two wrongs don't make a right (getting married just because you get pregnant). That's why we've got to start teaching abstinence. It's better to have a family foundation before kids come into the world. And sex usually results in kids, like it or not.

Answer 4

You should think of the child before you start having premarital sex. You should not get pregnant before you are married, but that said, I do not look down on someone who has a child out of wedlock. Yes, I am a Christian and the Bible teaches us to hate the sin but to love the sinner. We all make mistakes because we are not perfect. Why should the child suffer? Is it the child's fault? At least the mom is not killing her child by having an abortion. The unwed mother may have it more difficult financially supporting the child, but that is her business, not ours. It is best for a child to be born in a happy, healthy, marriage relationship where two parents exist, but if not, so be it. Like I said, hate the sin, love the sinner. You are one yourself for hating the person and mistreating them. Ye without sin cast the first stone.

Answer 5

The Chistian way isn't to judge, nor should we, although I know it happens all too often. Note to you guys out there - God called us to witness to nonbelievers not to lecture them so lay off.

And for you - I know how you feel I wasn't married when I had my first either. Even my parents didn't understand, but my sister with 3 kids, none out of wedlock, has been divorced 2 times. I am now happily married to the father of all four of my children, but not because I got pregnant. I waited until we were both sure. It's better for kids to come up in a happy household even if it is with unmarried parents, then to come up in misery because the parents are only together because them (talk about a guilt trip for a young one in a bad situation)

Answer 6

I am not married, and 18 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend and I talked about marriage before I even got pregnant, and decided to wait a little longer. We are committed to spending our lives together, but cannot financially afford the wedding that we want. PLUS I'm not gonna go get married to him right now jus cuz I'm pregnant (I really want to be skinny for the wedding)... I do things at my own pace, but I am very happy that I didn't go and get pregant by a man that I do not love with all my heart and more.

AND who are you to judge the christians and say that they need to quite judging people? let them do their thing, you do yours.

Answer 7

My husband and I weren't married when we had our son. In fact, we hadn't even thought about it before I got pregnant. We decided that we wanted the baby, but we weren't going to get married because of it. That's not a reason to get married. Our son was 5 months old at our wedding, and it was the best thing ever! We knew we were getting married because we wanted to, not because we felt we had to.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having kids out of wed-lock. Especially if both parents want to be involved in the child's life. It doesn't take marriage to raise a good kid... it takes good parents. And parents don't neccessarily have to be married.

Answer 8

I know how you feel about this, I am an unmarried mum of a 7 month old and find that everywhere you go people allways jump to the conclusion that you are married, like at the hairdressers and you say that your baby is with his dad and its like what does your husband do. I completely agree with your point!

Answer 9

First of all it is not christian to judge anyone no one is perfect and I mean no one, married or not,....God gave you the best gift the miracle of life and if he did there is a propose for that ...we are no one to judge....don't live your life on what other people think of you trust me, people will be people and they will always judge or comment just to feel better about their own lives....if you where married they would have found something else to talk about.....just live your life....and congratulations on the your miracle of life.;-)

Answer 10

AMEN! I'm an unwed mother. My boyfriend and I hate hearing people tells us that our child was a mistake and that we're not raising him right. We're not married, oh well. That doesn't mean that we won't get married some day and it doesn't mean that we'll break up tomarrow either. I agree with you completely. People really need to back off.