I am looking for women who have had bad relationships where they were abused in any way. I am writing a book.?

Question

I am writing a book to document these experiences and I want to know how you coped with it. All names will be kept private. I just want to write something inspirational for all women to help them live with the pain of divorce, or dating break-ups or anything. I have been through the same thing for 13 years and I wanted to see if this book could make a difference in anyone else's life and anyone who participates will recieve a copy when it comes out late next year.

Answer 1

My ex-husband's abuse started so subtly that I wasn't even aware of it at first. I didn't see it for what it was. It started as emotional abuse, then gradually becoming mental and finally, physical. He told me how lucky I was that he loved me since I had 2 kids from a previous marriage. He assured me that no one else would ever want me. He loved to get me into a corner, get right in my face and scream at me (that was his favorite intimidation tactic), sometimes with a knife at my throat. He always put the bruises in places my clothes would cover.

I called the women's hotline to find out what I could do to make him stop, and the woman I spoke with basically told me I should leave because he wouldn't change. I wish I had listened to her but, like a lot of women, I truly believed if he loved me enough and I was patient with him, he could change. I thought I could try and save our marriage. I even convinced him to go to marriage counseling at which point the counselor told him he was abusive. And of course, he didn't believe her.

It is unfortunate it took 7 years of fear, 2 fractures to my nose and 6 sutures in my face to leave him. It's been 9 years since he's been out of my life. The physical scars have long since healed; the emotional ones I doubt ever will.

If your book helps even ONE woman to see abuse for what it is and gets out of the relationship before she gets hurt - or worse, killed - then you will know that all the research, time and effort you put into it saved a life. What an honorable achievement that is!

Good luck in your endeavor. :)

Answer 2

I married at a very young age .believed that is was forever as time passed abuse became more n more and varied from day to day depending on his mood........verbal , physical , sexual .more n more as the years passed......... he had me believing i was the cause of this behavior..i deserved what i got because dinner wasn't ready or woke him up late .interrupted his time with his friend.there was no set reason just because at times...i lived like this, never told a soul .. spent my time trying to be better thinking that yes i did deserve this n i was constantly doing something wrong. this went on for 7 and a1/2 years sadly to say .I mustered the strength took my kids n i left him .....i spent many year in counseling....... sure there is scaring and right now 17 yrs later there r times the memories still come back to haunt me.Everyone has a breaking point....... Everyone has thier own stories. But........... Hugssssss to the one who survived and before you feel bad for yourself think of those that didnt

Answer 3

well my parents got divorced but i still know everything that happened. they were married for 19 years. my mom kept it together for me and my sister even though she should have ended it at least 10 years ago. throughout then my dad has had girlfriends come and go while still being married to my mom. he verbally abused her all the time. every single day actually and even physically abused her too sometimes. i would sit there on the stairs watching them, crying, thinking "what happened to them?". i wish my parents are still together but my dad actually abandoned me and my sister he went back to his hoem town in italy where he lived in the first part of his life, before coming to america.

* i want to read the book. see other peoples' opinion
i hope my comments helped you out and maybe even
to other people whos' parents have divorced*

Answer 4

I was in an abusive (in just about every manner it could be) relationship off and on for almost four years...messed up part is we are still friends. I guess me make better friends then lovers because we get along fine nowadays. It was a BAD marriage. I would be happy to share my story.

Answer 5

I am right now in an abusive relationship, its very verbal and emotional, the physical part is that he has pushed me several times and threw things at me and will hold me down on the bed while screaming at me and then he says i have never hit a woman, i never would, i have JUST pushed you a few times. he is constantly accusing me of cheating and lying and he calls me the most vile names, he makes me feel like I am nothing, like dirt is more valuable than me. he makes me have thoughts of suicide, thats how i cope right now, just trying to get the courage up and wondering if suicide would take away all the pain. its sad. then he tells me its just in the way i TAKE things. and people say i LET him do this to me, how do let go when you love someone more than yourself?

Answer 6

i think that if a woman figured out that the guy was an abuser and figured out not to make excuses for him early in the relationship, she would get out quicker without a lot of the physical and mental abuse. and above all else, dont let him come between you and your family. abusers try to make you isolated. that makes it easier for them later on. if you have nowhere to go, you cant go where he cant get to you.

my ex had me convinced that nobody else would want me and that i couldnt get away from him, no matter where i was or where i went. he followed me from texas to washington and i still couldnt get away.

the abuse got worse over time. ive had broken bones, concussions, hair pulled out, teeth knocked out. he did try to "make it up to me" when i was black and blue, he would buy something that was supposed to make up for the beatings.

i had nice things, but those things werent worth the scars that i have, or the health problems, since im older.

my advise is dont let him convince you that if you acted this way or that way, he wouldnt "have to" beat on you. or let him convince you that it wont happen again because it does and it gets worse.

Answer 7

I was in an abusive relationship mentally and physically for 3 years.. But when you are with someone for that long.. you thinkyou are in love with them and they make you believe that they wont do it again.. and then it happens and the promises come again and you believe them because yoiu dont want to loose them

Answer 8

I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years. I blocked it out of my mind and it made me numb everytime he did it. So i just put up with it cause i thought hed change. I wanted to help him. But years after, it made my brain clouded about lots of things and made me treat my wonderful husband bad.

Answer 9

i guess i have my aunt's story to tell you. my uncle was inlove with somebody else but my grandparents disapprove of this woman so they did things to ruin their relationship. They found a perfect girl for him and my uncle was stupid to follow his parents. He got married to someone he doesn't like.

Their marriage was ok though until such time when he got the courage to disobey his parents. he had 4 children then with his wife but manage to leave their house and had time with other women whom he bore more children with. at that time, i look at my aunt who was dying inside but manages to smile when we would talk. she said, she cares for her children more and has no time to think about her husband or what happened what is important was her children and she can not dwell on the situation or else she will just get insane. her priority was to raise her family even without her husband. My uncle practically left everything even his responsibilities. good enough, my grandparents supported them.

When my grandfather died, my uncle came back. My aunt just welcomed him back without any questions or anything. i don't understand it but she actually did. she even accepted the children of her husband from other women. When my uncle gets supplies from their house to give it to his other family, she would just shrugg it off.

My aunt is like a martyrr. is she crazy or what?

Answer 10

hey why just women?

men get treated like **** too. and let me tell you now, the stories these woman are about to write to you will be one sided and contorted versions of the truth. but good luck with your book. but you know as well as i do that nothing can heal the pain of heartbreak.