Serious answers needed?

Question

A man in his early 50's has sfound out that his wife 8 yrs his junior is having an affair. She now knows he’s aware but still continues.

2 teenage children knows it too and is not in favour.

Due to his son’s coming finals he does not want to cause disturbance in confronting the wife till the exam’s over.

Is it right to file for divorce or what should he do?

Answer 1

Since the affair is already an open-secret...I guess there is no use creating a ruckus in the family over it (I am in no way undermining the problem)...so just wait till the son's exams get over and then the husband should go and talk to his better (or in this case worst, pun-intended) half and see if the situation can be resolved in an amicable manner...divorce is painful for everybody, and esp. for children...why the children have to be subjected to this kind of upheaval in their growing years..is outta of my understanding...so for the time being, just wait and watch...as they say:Hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.

Good luck!

Answer 2

He should file for divorce. She knows he knows about the affair and still continues???? She might as well bring the man into the house and have sex with him there. She is being brazen about the affair. She has no respect for her husband or the children in the house. The least she could have done was stop when she realized her husband found out. She is not worthy of that guy. He should file for divorce so he can be free to find a woman who can keep her legs closed.

Answer 3

you say both are aware that the wife is fooling around but "knowing" is different from "understanding".. if that is the situation i believe -the husband should find out why she fools around. knowing the reason why one had to love somebody else or prefer someone else over the other is a good start of resolving issues between the couple.

you'll be amazed of what you can accomplished if you "really" talk. Doing this might also be a way to shelve the Divorce idea. Women fool around because they're missing out on something- talk, listen, compromise with your heart. while talking dont point fingers to who's fault it is...because it always takes two to tango. Cause and effect.

also if you do this-theres an easier way of finding a closure to your issues - because youre "finding a solution/answer" to the problem. Not an escape. Be brave (for you and the children) Remember the kids always look up to their parents. Set a good example in dealing with your problems. this will make a big impact to their lives so be cautious.

that is just my two cents

Answer 4

He seems to be doing the right thing already. He is aware that this might affect his son's finals. As to the question if he should file for divorce. It is his choice really. He should however establish if his wife still loves him and values the marriage. If she does and is willing to give up her affair for good, and he is willing to forgive her and rebuild their relationship, then they should seek professional help to resolve the issues that brought about the affair in the first place. Good married relationships can endure such challenges.

All this should of course occur after his son's finals.

Answer 5

Well, it seems obvious that she does not respect the marriage or the family if she continues with the affair after discovery. It's probably smart that you wait til your son's exams are done, though before taking further action.
Of course, there are two sides to every story, so we do not know what this man in his early 50's may have done (if anything) to lead his wife to have an affiar in the first place.

Answer 6

Why does he need to confront her with the kids around. Most adults have these conversations in private. He should take her somewhere and they should talk about what needs to be done. Obvioiusly she wants out...and he more than likely does too now, especially since she has proven his emotions or feeling don't play apart in her actions.
If the kids know this is going on and they are old enough to understand, then more than likey they are wondering why these two people are still together and making each other miserable. Its harder on the kids then you think. Its way past time for this conversation. Is she still hanging around because of financial stability?...well...too bad....a commitment is just that.......they need to talk to each other and then to lawyers. Man or Woman...neither deserve this kind of betrayal. If he was the one having the affair...I guarantee she would handle it so well........Tell him Good Luck and for the sake of the kids.....get out and give them a life they will be happy in..not one where they watch two people continue to hurt each other.....

Answer 7

Go for marriage counseling and if she continues to have an affair, get a divorce. She probably thinks you don't have the balls to confront her or something since she knows that you know. In any case, you are considerate in wanting to wait after your son's finals.

Answer 8

In psychology it is said that a man can do no good if he does no good for himself.

Every living being must attend to their own needs before they can attend to any one else's. Look to the behavioral pyramid to see where things really stand.

In the behavior pyramid needs are ranked as more important then wants. So the man with the gun pointed at you would be more important then say eating or drinking, but eating would rank above shelter and clothing, which would then rank above comfort items like warmth and a job, etc. When you have a family the pyramid gets another one right next to it just one level lower. So the man with the gun pointed at your child or spouse is ranked above your need for food and water, but bellow the gun pointed at you. (it's just an analogy, I think you'll get what I mean about urgent safety needs)

Somewhere on this pyramid is mental and emotional need, and you need to attend to your own metal and emotional needs before those of your children or friends. Take a look at your needs and those of your family and weigh the options. No one can make you feel bad without your permission. - Elanor Roosevelt

Answer 9

I think, she deserve another chance. Why? Becuase you loved her and married her.

The age around 30-40 is the age during which any women requires the maximum physical interaction (intercourse). Just check if you had failed there or were not upto the mark, leading her into frustration and this sorry situation.

No, not saying that what ever she has done is correct, but you know, everybody has different patience limits. You may have different than hers. Quite possible.

But the serious question and the answer is, you give one last chance to save it, but in case she is still reluctant to give in, then whoever continues that way, I would call them, you know what.

Answer 10

I understand why you want to wait until your sons exams are over...but if she aware you know shes having an affair and still is doing this its as if she is rubbing it in your face, I dont know if I could keep my mouth shut until exams are over! YES I would file for divorce.