How long would you wait, before you get married?

Question

ok, My friend and I were talking last night about being married. I'm married, she's not. She feels like her boyfriend of 5 yrs is stringing her along because although he promised her marriage in the near future, he said this2 yrs ago, she feels like she's waiting for something that will never happen. She's talked to him about it but his answer is always the same. "We'll get married one day i promise." I know speaking for myself i wouldn't wait that long. It doesn't take a person 5 or more years to know if they want to marry you or not. While i know people who have been with men/women for over 10 years without a marriage proposal, when asked if they ever wanted to get married, it was always that one did and the other didn't. To me and this is my opinion alone. I'm not the type to play house that long with a man if i really wanted marriage. If your good enough to play wife, then you should be the wife. It's like that old saying "why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free"

Answer 1

Marriage is a piece of paper. It's meaningless to the real relationship. If both partners are happy together and they have built a home filled with love and joy, then that piece of paper won't change a thing.

BUT, if one of the partners wants marriage, then that person needs to determine how long they are willing to wait before moving on. If this is the case, it would seem to me that 2 years is long enough.

Answer 2

I clicked on this question with intention of saying that I would not have an expectation of getting married by any particular age because I think it's more about the relationship than a predetermined time frame. However, if I were in your friend's position, I would expect to get married at all. If they have been together that long and he has made promises but not acted on them, he is not likely to do so. She can push the envelope by starting to plan a wedding he promised. If he runs, there is the answer. However, why would anyone want to be married to someone who is afraid of a piece of paper? Marriage only ensures that she is legally listed as his next of kin (therefore, entitled to the rights and privileges therein).

P.S. I've heard of men doing this when they enjoy being with someone but think they might be able to do better later (because of change in financial position or some other reason). That may not be the case with your friend and her partner, but I have heard of this type of behavior. They only marry when they feel there will be no other options.

Answer 3

Depending on how old I was at the time, I think I would wait 5 years max for a proposal. As far as the engagement period of time, only long enough to plan a nice wedding, roughly 6-9 months. Both people should know within a year or so if the person they are with is a match for them. I know it would be hard to invest 5 years in someone and then walk away. Encourage her to just hand it over to God and ask for a resolution soon, and she'll get one, I can promise you that. It may not be what she'd hoped for, but it means God has a better plan for her. As her friend, pray for her too....

Answer 4

This is a question which everyone would answer differently and depends entirely upon opinion, some would say that so long as you love each other there's no reason to get married, but there are plenty of legal and financial reasons that marriage is a good option for any couple.

Unless this guy is using her and giving her no respect in the relationship I don't think he could be described as 'stringing her along', as he must be putting effort into the relationship himself. If marriage is so important to her then she needs to talk to him about it more forcefully than just "when will we do it", talk about why he wants to delay, what his reasons are, maybe it is fear, maybe it is something else.

They should sit down and talk this through, if they can't do that after 5 years together then there is something wrong with their relationship and she should reconsider where the two of them stand.

Answer 5

It depends on how long someone wants to wait. Some people give an untilmatum, marry me or I leave? How screwed up is that? Why marry anyone that has to be forced to do it.
I think 5 years is long enough. I'd leave if possible to do so.
They say a man knows within the first year if he is with the woman that he wants to marry. If after the first year of dating and there is no talk of a future together, dump him.
A few yrs of being strung along is more than enough for me but maybe not long enough for her.

Answer 6

What answer are you looking for? You want to hear that she should dump him?

There's a bit more to a relationship than a ring and piece of paper. How do they get along? Do they love each other and express it? Are they loyal?

If the only negative side of the relationship is the lack of a marriage proposal after 5 years, I'd say your friend needs to stop being in such a hurry to have a wedding. If, on the other hand, the guy is obviously stalling just to keep his options open (meaning he isn't loyal to her and their relationship isn't all that great), then she shouldn't be wanting marriage at all.

He may just be worried that he's not ready or capable of supporting a family.

Answer 7

yeah well that is most mens mentality probably as well, why should I buy the cow if I can get the milk for free, I have never understood why people have to get married, if two people just stay together forever then what is the problem with that? I simply don't want to propose to my girlfriend just because I am not financially ready and nor will I ever be financially ready and I think she knows that but she still stays with me anyways, marraige isn't the sanctified union it once was anyways

Answer 8

Me and my boyfriend have been friends for 5 years and dating off and on for about 2 years and now we are planning our marriage. I really wanted this man, so I waited for him. Grant it didn't take him long, but I did wait because I wanted him and no other. I think your heart knows how long you should wait. The man has to be ready, sounds like your friend is with a man who is not.

Answer 9

This isn't really an answer to your question, but if your friend wants to move things along with her boyfriend, she should tell him that she loves him very much but realizes that they both want different things from their relationship. Then, she should wish him well and break things off with him. It'll give him time to contemplate life without her. She needs to stand her ground. If marriage is important to her she should be willing to do this in order to force the issue. Five years together is long enough for him to know her.

Answer 10

We have been engaged a million a million/2 years, we merely have been given married 4 weeks in the past, yet we've been jointly over 5 years. you ought to wait. information say that once you're engaged for a minimum of a year, you have a extra proper risk of no longer getting divorced. and you adult men are so youthful, you have the time to attend somewhat. initiate saving now, you would be able to save it rapidly and finally end up getting married quicker. do no longer overlook your mom and dad and his ought to help pay for the marriage, too. good success and congratulations! And bear in mind, savour each and every 2d of the making plans because of the fact this is over in the past you be attentive to it.