i just want to add that yes i love him but it is like it is not as strong as it used to be and we have two kids together. i have tried the talking thing but it does not seem to do anything i am just soooo......i also started attending chruch and praying to the lord,he does not partipate he does not want cousling but i have thought about the vacation see if that works and the things we fight about i never really know what they are about. I just dont know what to do any more should i give up i just want to scream
2006-07-26 02:32:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thunder_kok will scratch your itch
2006-07-26 02:35:05 · answer #1 · answered by thunder_kok 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Though the "seven-year itch" is a phenomenon usually attribited to men, it certainly can affect women just as annoyingly. Seven years appears to be about average: the couple has settled into a routine, usually had kids, and are in go-nowhere jobs and stuck with the same boring, annoying, pain-in-the-rear in-laws and living next to the most obnoxious neighbors in the universe. It is quite common for both men and women to begin to wonder "Is this all there is?" Its about then that many of the exramarital affairs begin or one partner simply abandons the relationship and begins a new life elsewhere.
Common, but not unavoidable. It is time to sit down and make a list: you know, the two-column thingie where you list all the reasons you married this character in the first place and all the good points about the marriage. On the other side, you list all the "downers" about the relationship. Then you try and figure out how you, on your own, can make the good side outweigh the bad side. THEN you enlist your partner's help. You make an appointment to sit down, free of distractions like kids and in-laws and nosy neighbors, to talk about the relationship. Be honest in saying that you don't feel things are going just right. Wait for partner's response. If partner gets defensive, don't press, simply say it's the way you feel and you'd deeply appreciate some help getting it all back on the right track. Beyond that, however, it's often best to employ the skills of a trained counsellor. If partner won't go, you go anyway to at least gain some insight you might not note otherwise. Just don't go screwing around on partner, that might be deeply satisfying for awhile, but it's usually one of the most self-destructive things you can do. Gotta have another lover, wait until you're legally free of the current one.
2006-07-26 02:55:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah, seven year itch is definately real, but doesn't always hit at 7 yrs.
You guys are so used to each other that you are not finding anything challanging or exiteing in the other person. You are basically in a rut.
Find new things to do together that will bring back the exitement of the relationship. And revert to some old things. What attracted you to him early in your relationship. Find a way to bring some of those early emotions back.
Have a night without the kids. Give your full attention to each other. And don't give up on your marriage to easily. You will be glad for the effort, so will the kids.
2006-07-26 03:06:52 · answer #3 · answered by shirley_corsini 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is such a thing as the 7 year itch... sometimes you survive it sometimes you don't... my sister did, I didn't.
It all starts with communication... if he isn't willing to work on things with you and just keeps scraping you to the side like your a chore... and doesn't want to work for it then your better off without him... MOST men would be willing to change things and become a better person with you to build a relationship with you and keep it... maybe your relationship needs some spicing up ?
Good Luck
2006-07-26 02:40:38 · answer #4 · answered by nknicolek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i do not know but Ill be married 7 years this year it is up to you too decide if you want too go on i am wondering every day if this is what i want and i have decided that yes this is it i am the only one that can make it better so try from your side and see what happens hope it works out
2006-07-26 02:42:10 · answer #5 · answered by pop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeh..the seven year itch could be at anytime..you just get so used to one another..in the same routine. kids can put a wedge in the romantic relationship. Why don't you two find one night a week to go do something just alone. See what happens.
2006-07-26 02:38:28 · answer #6 · answered by justwonderingwhatever 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men get tired of the same thing all the time. Think about it this way, as comedian Rodney Carrington put it.
"I really like green M&M's, but not every d@mn day of the week! I want a red one or a blue one once in a while!"
2006-07-26 02:39:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No but maybe you shoudl try to get some counciling, The 7 year itch is just a dead spot in the marriage.
2006-07-26 02:34:43 · answer #8 · answered by boxing_fan_4_wlad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey hang in there I talked to many people who went though the seven year itch. Every couple I know went though it. Especially if they were married young. I talked to my pastor who also said marriage has its seasons, wait for this one to blow by. For better or worse. Good luck, hang in there.
2006-07-26 02:39:19 · answer #9 · answered by flowersandhearts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nO
2006-07-26 02:34:52 · answer #10 · answered by Alonzo J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋