i am married but?

Question

is there such thing as the seven year itch? i feel like there is nothing between us any more. we have been togethter for seven years and married two but things are not the same anymore we fights almost everyday help please i dont understand it

Answer 1

Its called a relationship!! Get over it! The grass is NOT greener on the other side. The key is conversation, go back to the beginning and try to talk about whatever you talked about then.

Answer 2

Yeah...I think its the 7 and 9 and 11 and 14 year itch too!!

But to be realistic...I dont think any marriage stays the same. A lot of couples stay together because of kids....or because they are involved in a family business.

Sometimes....you use the other person up in a relationship..you get to a point where you already know exactly what that other person will do or say in any given situation. Instead of looking at that in a positive light, a lot of people call it boring...or predictable.

You have to decide for yourself. Are you happy? Can you be happy with this man once you find out why your fighting so much?
Or are you just lonely? What will you risk if you decide to go out for a fling? Sometimes the alternatives are worse then the situation.

Answer 3

Good luck, My wife and I fought everyday for a couple years after we got married.It seemed like over really stupid crap, things that really didn't matter.I thought she was having an afair.She accused me every day.Her family would tell her I was cheating.Her Dad said he seen me and some blond in my vette.Just so happens..my wife had my vette that day, thank God!You really need to have trust, and self confidence.He is with you because he wants to be, and hopefully your there because you want to be.The seven year itch is an excuse to cheat.You really don't need one.Try talking to your husband,and tell him how serious this situation is.As far as the fighting.....I don't know what your fighting about.But usually it's one person trying to change the other.You may not realize it.Keep in mind he did things befor that might get on your nerves now.And thats the way you fell in love with him.Or he might feel like he should change and don't want to..and maybe resents you for it, not that it's your fault.Don't really worry about the fighting,as long as it's not physical.It's a big adjustment to move in with someone, and then realize, it's for the rest of your life.You will eventually give in a little, and someone will take charge as the leader of the house..the chief, if you will.Only one can wear the pants, and I've seen it both ways.My wife has been married for 13 years in Aug.(She's the one who changed her name).But every day, I wake up and decide I still Love her, and still want to be married.Take it a day at a time.Life is short, and ya never know what could happen, today, tomorow or the next day could be your last, so live your life as if it is.good luck

Answer 4

yes, the 7 year itch is very true. 7 years is only a figure, it can happen after a few months and it can never actually happens. Sad but true, love is there, but the passion is out of the window. This is natural and you will find that most relationships suffer from this itch.

Allow me to suggest a tactic I tried and worked well for me. Take a long break, travel far away, go visit relatives or something. Test your feelings after a couple of weeks, do you miss him? do you miss life with him? if you do, then you are on the safe side, you belong with him. Just make sure the feeling is mutual.

Answer 5

Is the fighting over silly little things? does he start an argument for no reason? If so it may mean that he doesn't feel the same way as he did when you first met. If you have nothing in common it just means that since you have been married the two of you have grown apart instead of growing together. Speak to your husband its the only way you will get answers. If things are still the same after that then it may just mean that it wasn't meant to be and that you should move on.

Answer 6

Look...things cant always be "wonderful"...we dont live in a bubble.Marriages as well as friendships or/and relationships go through a downfall now and then.The importnat thing is not to lose hope and never give up trying to better things between the two of you.A marriage is hard work..it aint easy.Nothing worthwhile is easy!You have to make sacrifices sometimes...let things go...pull things together.Maybe you should sit down and talk about it with your husband..maybe theres something else wrong.Have you asked yourself if maybe YOU'VE changed in some way?I'm sure its just a phase.I've been married for 6 years myself...I've been through phases like that but things always come round again.If theres love...then it'll work out at the end.Dont give up!!

Answer 7

You need to communicate with your husband about your feelings. Maybe you guys need a vacation where is just the two of you. I've been with the same person over 9 years. We just got back from a 9 day cruise and it did wonders for our relationship.

P.S. The 7 year itch usually happens if you are married for 7 years. Most marriages fall apart within 7 years.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Yes dear you can have a 7 yr itch and a 10 yr and a 15 yr. I have been married 20 yrs today and it hasen't been easy, We fight all the time but I do love him and we have two kids and a home. life is good. I guess the only thing I can tell you is look for something in him you like and remember why you married him keep working on it, It'll get better. Don't give yet!

Answer 9

I don't believe in the seven year itch...I think that this is a test within your marriage...this is when you must both sit down and talk...discuss you fears....let your partner know that there is something amiss. Try new things, get passionate...light candles and have soft music playing...Take out the oils and massage each other...sit by the fire and have a romantic dinner...the spark is gone because you have lost ideas to rekindle your love...Touch and kiss...but a long kiss...sex is sex but been passionate is more and has so much more meaning...try it and good luck

Answer 10

so many people know where you are coming from. I think people just grow apart. Most get married when they are still very young, and then by 25 or 30 you have matured so much more. Even though both of you are good people, you are "different". You have to decide if this is what you want forever.I hated the every day fighting.

Answer 11

I have only been married for about 3 years and I really don't know what to say other than seek God in prayer about your marriage and let him guide you. What is so different now than it was in the past? does he feel the same way? Maybe you all need a vacation or something to put the spark back into the marriage. You still love him right?